Betrayals at Peace
by Indiana Jerico
Summary: In this multichapter story, a retrieval mission sends Quistis Trepe and Squall Leonheart into a convoluted mess of emotions, betrayals, and broken dreams. Now the young figures of Balamb Garden find that some of the worst transgressions are done at peace
1. I

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace

**FFVIII: BETRAYALS AT PEACE**

  
  
**I**t wasn't supposed to happen. She knew it. She tried to find reasons for shifting the guilt she felt a little, easing it somewhat. She tried to convince herself that it was the cold. Maybe it was the mood. Or maybe it wasn't anything at all. Just a spur of the moment incident. She tried to find any cracks on the enormous guilt she was feeling right at this moment, but all she found was the undeniable truth. That what happened did happen, and they were all too conscious about it.   
  
Quistis Trepe looked out of the window of the car they were driving which they have rented from Balamb. The whole journey was uncomfortable for her, eversince that incident in the icy-cold Hawkwind mountains in Trabia. They were sent on a routine search-and-retrieve mission by Headmaster Cid, on the request of a prominent corporation in Deling. A blackmail case. Apparently, it seemed that a group of terrorists stole a top-secret data file which contained sensitive information about the company and its executives. Political reasons prevented the corporation from contacting the local authorities. And so, a request was made through B-Garden to handle the matter. Delicate cases required delicate measures. The Garden does not involve itself in politics, but since the corporation was willing to give out a considerable amount as payment for the safe retrieval of the data and document, Headmaster Cid agreed. And they were tasked for the job. "They" happened to be herself, and Squall Leonheart. She could still remember when it started.   
  
A week ago...   
  
"Just the two of us, Headmaster?" she asked. "Against a group of well-armed terrorists?"   
"Two SeeDs should be enough," Cid replied. "Besides, you two are among the best. Dincht and Kinneas are still on a mission in Dollet. And Tilmitt's working full time on the new security measures in the Garden. As it stands, Instructor Trepe, you and Leonheart are about the only able SeeDs I could think of for this mission. Unless of course you want Almasy to be an optional third...?"   
_Oh no, not Seifer_. She lowered her head a bit and sighed, brushing back a strand of golden-yellow hair from her face as she bit her lower lip, thinking.   
"But what about my clas--?" she started.   
"I have asked Ruth to be your substitute," he answered before she could even finish. "I think she is more than capable enough. If I may remember right, you had high recommendations for her."   
_Yes, yes, Ruth_, she thought. She was more than capable of handling the class for her. But just the two of them against a group? SeeDs are among the best mercenaries around, trained since their early teens for measures and countermeasures. But just the two of them? It wasn't that she lacked confidence in her skill, or in Squall for that matter. The mere fact that they were acclaimed saviors of the world in that whole Sorceress incident a year or so past had already assured them of a niche in history. But the fact still remained that they're just human. A single bullet...   
It was at this moment that the door opened and Squall Leonheart came in. He was dressed in a neatly pressed SeeD uniform. He walked in in that calculating and silent gait he seemed to have mastered. Those dark brown eyes regarded her as he came in to stand beside her. Up until now, she still felt a tug whenever those eyes pierced deep into hers. Never mind the fact that she had made it clear that what she felt before their little adventure back then against Ultimecia was just a mere "crush" and nothing more. Besides, he and Rinoa are still going on strong, even though they hardly see each other at days when she's with her father back in Deling. Still, she can't deny the fact that that little "crush" she had on him was still there.   
"Squall Leonheart reporting in as requested, sir," he said formally. She tried to hide a snicker. He still hasn't changed much. Although he was more sociable now (and even that was stretching it too much), he was still one to be no-nonsense when it came to official matters.   
"At ease, Leonheart," Cid said. "A private corporation in Deling has commissioned us for a job. You both are to retrieve an MO disk containing pertinent and sensitive information about said corporation. They paid big money for this job, Leonheart. I have told Intructor Trepe of the details of the case."   
With that, Squall looked back at her, his eyebrow raised a bit. Those dark brown eyes again. "It's just us?"   
She chuckled a bit and turned to Cid. "See? Precisely my question a while ago."   
Cid let out a sigh. "Yes, just you two. I have the utmost confidence in your skills." He tossed a large manila envelope on the table before them. "Here are the tickets and other information you might need. As for anything else, you can buy them. You will be sent gil credits via your e-pads, as always. You can go by sea, via Dollet. Anything you might need, you can probably get at Deling. No contacts with our client there, if you do decide on going. All the information you will ever need is in the envelope. This is going to be a secret mission, so we will try to be as low profile as possible."   
She got the envelope and took a peek inside it, finding the two train tickets they were to take to Dollet, and a stop-over at Deling, if they felt like it. She glanced briefly at Squall. Rinoa's at Deling right now. She smiled as he looked back at her. "Well, Squall. Should we stop by Deling for a bit? You might want to see someone before we go undertake this one."   
"Any plans you might make, you can make while on the way," Cid said to the two. "If there aren't any more questions...dismissed."   
  
"I wonder how Rinoa is doing?" She asked, looking out of the train's window, resting her cheeks in her hands. It was a rhetorical question, she knew, but the silence in the room they were assigned in was getting to her. Squall wasn't one to initiate any conversation, so she was pretty much stuck to starting any talks.   
"As always," Squall replied without opening his eyes. His hands were crossed, as if dozing off to sleep while sitting, his legs stretched out in front of him. How he managed to stay in that position for the past two hours without shifting was beyond her. He was in his familiar black leather jacket, with the white fur. She opted instead for a more casual red vest over yellow sleeveless shirt, and skin tight jeans, which somehow framed her svelte figure. She could have worn her favorite pink and orange clothes, but somehow, she wanted a change of pace during missions. Also, for a change, she let her golden hair hang loose; the silky strands framing her heart-shaped face and resting loosely on her shoulders and back.   
"When was the last time you both were together?" she asked, turning back to him, looking at his profile.   
"A month ago," he replied without so much as a look at her. "She said she had to be with her father today. It seemed like General Caraway was on a temporary leave of absence, and she thinks that this is a good time for some daughter-father bonding."   
"And she didn't ask you along?" she asked, with just a hint of teasing in her voice. She brushed back some hair behind her ear, still looking at him. When Squall didn't reply, she let out a sigh and then turned her attention back to the window, to the view outside.   
"You should wear your hair that way more often," he suddenly said after a considerable amount of silence.   
"Huh?" she asked, turning back to him, a bit absentminded.   
"I said, you should let your hair loose more often, that way." It was then that he opened his eyes and looked at her, giving her a soft gaze. She couldn't figure out what he was thinking then. But she couldn't help but blush. To her surprise, Squall smiled a bit.   
"You're blushing," he said.   
"I'm often wearing my hair this way," she said defensively. Damn! She blushed, and he saw! "You just didn't notice, until now."   
"I wonder why?" he said, matter-of-factly. Then, tilting his head a bit as if looking at some new experiment, he regarded her again. "I'm serious, though. You should let loose your hair more often. I think more freshmen would become Trepies come next Garden enrollment."   
Again, she blushed. She tried to hide it by turning back to the window. Seeing that they were about to arrive at the Deling station, she let out a relieved breath. _You got over him already, Quistis Trepe_, she told herself. _It was nothing more than a crush. Quit blushing like an idiot!_   
"Better get our things ready," she said, trying to change the subject. "We're gonna be arriving at Deling in a few minutes."   
As if on cue, the train conductor hollered out their stop. She took her bag and started to step out of the room ahead of Squall. Damn it all! She blushed!   
  
They rang the doorbell of the great Caraway mansion. This has only been the third time she'd been here in this residence. The first time was when they plotted the assassination of Ultimecia during their adventure, and the second was after the whole thing ended. Rinoa invited them all here then to celebrate their victory. Up until now, she still couldn't believe that the self-styled "Princess of the Forest Owls" was in all actuality the daughter of the famed General Caraway.   
Squall repeatedly rang the doorbell, tapping his finger impatiently on the doorframe in between presses. She just stood behind him, her hands clasping the handle of the light travelling bag she was carrying. Finally, there was a faint sound of steps bounding on the carpeted floor, followed by a young girl's voice shouting "Commiiing!"   
The door finally opened to reveal a young girl dressed in peach sleeveless blouse and cream-colored jeans. Her black hair was interrupted by thin streaks of light browns in her bangs. She was wearing an apron, and if that wasn't any indication enough of what she had been doing, the flour covering her hands were. When she saw who had been incessantly ringing their doorbell like crazy, her brown eyes turned round as saucers and she let out a squeal of surprised delight.   
"Squall!!!" she shouted, immediately embracing the young man's neck with her flour-covered arms. Not losing a beat, she immediately tip-toed and clasped his lips with hers excitedly, as if not doing so would mean her death. Squall wrapped his arms around her waist, returning back her kiss with as much passion.   
Looking at the two lovebirds in their embrace, she couldn't help but feel as if she was an intruder. Placing a hand over her mouth, she coughed. Politely.   
Rinoa let go, and when she saw her, she let out another friendly smile, and turned to hug her. "Quisty! You're here too? I'm sorry...I didn't notice you."   
"I can see why," she replied back jokingly.   
"Oh, where are my manners!" she said, ushering them in. "Dad went away for a while to buy a few things. I'm cooking a delicious dinner for him. I didn't know you'll be visiting us! Why didn't you gave me an advance warning? I could've cooked more lasagna."   
"Oh, don't bother Rinny," she said. "We won't be staying long. Our train for Dollet will be leaving in an hour and we just thought we'd drop by and see how you're doing."   
"Oh, I'm fine! Very fine!" Rinoa said, clearing up some stray magazines on the couch. "Wait...to Dollet? What are you both gonna be doing there?"   
"We're on a mission," she replied, sitting down. "We're going to retrieve some stuff some terrorists stole from a private company here in Deling. Information sources said that they're now currently hiding somewhere in the Hawkwind area of Trabia. We're going to take a boat from Dollet to there."   
"T-terrorists?" she said, her eyes registering worry as she placed a hand over her mouth. She turned to look at Squall. "Isn't that going to be dangerous? I mean, the others are going to be with you, right? Zell, and Irvine? Maybe, even Selphie?"   
Squall looked at Rinoa and shook his head. "Just us. Headmaster Cid said that it's going to be a low-profile mission."   
"B-but that's ridiculous!" Rinoa said, taking a step toward her boyfriend. "It's dangerous, with just you two! I mean, I know you're top SeeDs and all, but you're not superheroes!"   
Squall walked towards his girlfriend and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He brushed back her hair with the other, all the while trying to give her a reassuring smile.   
"Don't worry, Rinoa. We'll be safe. I promise."   
"I want you both to come back here, alright?" Rinoa said, resting her head on his chest. She turned to her. "Quisty, take good care of my Squall? I know he can be a blockhead and all, but please bring him back here to me in one piece?"   
She smiled, taking both her hands with hers. "Don't worry, Rinny. No harm'll come to him."   
Squall just looked at them both, and shook his head, sighing.   
  
If there was one thing she hated about the continent of Trabia, it was the perpetual cold that seemed to blanket the lands all year through. True, there were patches of greens here and there but those were so very few and far in between. Trabia was a land of cold and white. It takes little analysis to know why the terrorists chose this part of the world to situate their hideout.   
The information they gleaned said that the terrorists were holed up in Evercrest mountain, in the Salteir Range near Hawkwind Plains. For that, they were going to be doing some heavy mountain climbing. Not that that part will be any problem seeing as how they were already climbing mountains and cliffs eversince they were in their junior years as Garden cadets. The only problem would be planning out a strategy to get in, retrieve the data they need, and then get out. Cid told them to be as cautious as possible. No unnecessary confrontation, and fight only if they have to. That part was easier said than done, seeing as how they didn't have any blueprints or computer-image layout of the whole area. In essence, they had to plan things up as they go. They decided to sneak in after dusk, when darkness would welcome them in its arms.   
  
Up until now, she still can't help but marvel at how she and Squall seemed to be in synch with each other in that mission. Or in any mission, for that matter. It was as if each already knew what they had to do, with minimum or no radio contact at all. They only had to look at each other and know what each was supposed to do, in conjunction with the other's actions. In any field, this has been proven and noticed time and again. It was like a telepathic bond that was shared by players in a team game. Only in them, the bond seemed stronger; more clearly defined. Maybe it was the experience they shared together when they were battling Ultimecia then. But then again, she didn't share this kind of empathy and synchronization with Zell or Irvine. Or even with Selphie. It was just with Squall. How and why, she had no idea.   
That was the reason why they were able to easily penetrate the hideout. Dressed in their special Garden issue synth-suits---a pair of skin-tight black mesh and latex suits with its own thermal-sensitive micro-circuitry---they had no trouble with the whole place's cold atmosphere. It also offered extreme mobility, seeing as how it hugged her body as if it was second skin. Her hair was tied in that familiar way of hers.   
Stealth was their prime weapon, and it was a weapon they wielded well. They crept in like cats on the prowl, never making as much as a slight noise. Infra-red goggles helped them see the trip laser-wires which were occasionally placed as a measure of security. In truth, she had expected more from the terrorists. Laser cameras, maybe, or at least some sort of sensitive panels. She remembered heaving a sigh of relief then. Maybe this job was going to be a walk in the park, after all. Why the hell had she worried about just being the two of them in this mission?   
The only intricate security measure was the safe which held the MO disk they were to retrieve. And even that was just a slightly complex matrix-type binary series of code. Although she was not as much of a computer whiz as Selphie, she managed to unlock the safe in less then a minute. Everything was going like clockwork, with Squall guarding her back. With the rate they were breezing through this mission, she thought that they'd be at the next boat back to Dollet in less than a day.   
  
Whether it was fate, or just her too-complacent attitude about the whole mission which made her trip that tiny laser beam as they were escaping from that place, she didn't know. But now, thinking about it all, if only she still maintained her guard throughout the whole mission, she wouldn't have tripped anything at all, and that incident in that old abandoned cabin wouldn't have happened. And she wouldn't be feeling this enormous sense of guilt right now. If only she didn't get too cocky on their way out. If only she didn't get swept up by her emotions. If only. Too many "if's".   
When the alarm blared, it only took less than a minute for the terrorists to start storming the place. They ran, oblivious of the many trip-wires they'll encounter now. Shouts of "There they are!!!" from behind them caused them to quicken their pace, even as the sound of gunfire started. Bullets ricocheted behind then, while as many zipped past like bees buzzing in their ears.   
Squall turned around and knelt. Even as she stopped to ask what the hell he was doing, his hands were already glowing with concentration. Almost immediately, the whole area was engulfed in extreme heat, so much so that the bullets coming at them melted even in mid-air. Their pursuers screamed as they felt their bodies suddenly boiling and bursting in flames. She narrowed her eyes even as she covered her mouth and nose with the back of her hands. The smell of burning human flesh wafted through the air. That was one of the reasons why she never stocked up on extreme level spells like Ultima. It was too much to be cast to any human.   
"C'mon!" he growled under his breath as he turned around. "I cannot cast that anymore." But even as they started resuming their run, they heard voices ahead of them, through the corridor corners on the left and right. The elevator they were to take was just ahead.   
Squall was, as always, devoid of any emotion other than then complete determination. He was already unwrapping the zip-case which carried his gunblade Lion Heart even as she was slowly unwrapping her own Save the Queen from her waist. The first two terrorists that suddenly appeared from the corner corridors got the honor of being the first to fall down. With one swift motion, Squall turned around, bringing his gunblade on an arc and slashing the terrorist's chest. She herself lithely executed a perfect handstand which would make any gymnast proud and, using it as a leverage, catapulted herself and straddled the opponent's head with her legs and twisted. There was an audible "CRACK!" as the terrorrist's neck snapped like a twig. She then followed Squall through the elevator which would take them outside, to the white world. The sound of bullets hitting the steel door soon followed.   
"So much for stealth," she heard Squall say as they started their ascent. He was breathing a bit hard, and his jaw tightented.   
"What's the matter?" she asked him, stepping forward.   
"It's nothing," he said, even as his eyes narrowed.   
Ignoring what he just said, she touched his back and was surprised to find wetness there. Bringing her fingers up, she found blood. "You're hurt!"   
"I told you it was nothing!" Squall said.   
"Shut up and stop acting as if it doesn't hurt," she snapped, laying a soft hand on his back. Thankfully, the bullet didn't seem to hit any vital organs. Maybe just the shoulder blades, if she could guess it right. She was never one for medical expertise.   
"It doesn't," he said. Frowning at him through her glasses, she applied a pressure at the wound.   
"Agh!" he growled, wincing in pain. The edges of her lips started to curve up to a subtle smile.   
"Now hold still while I'll see what I can do." She said to him while the soft glow of green Curaga started to caress through his skin. It felt cool to the touch, and in moments, the wound started to close as the slug was ejected out of the body with a "THUNK". There was only numbness where the wound was, now.   
"Now all you need is rest," she said to him. Curaga spells can only cure physical wounds barring, of course, the extreme cases like damage to internal vital organs. However, after it was being cast on someone, the feeling of extreme exhaustion sets in. Curaga, in itself, does not cause the healing of wounds, but rather, it speeds up the natural healing factor of the body. This would cause the body to churn out the cells needed for recovery at ten times its normal rate. Rest was mandatory afterwards.   
"We have to get out of here," he said, leaning on the elevator wall. He watched the floor number steadily rose to one.   
"Lean on me," she whispered as the door chimed open. Squall draped an arm around her shoulders, helping her support him by trying to walk as well. They took a step forward and looked forward...to the gun muzzles of about twenty or so terrorists.   
"Side!" she screamed, pushing Squall towards his side of the elevator even as she flattened herself on hers. A hail of gunfire ensued, riddling the back part of the elevator wall with countless bullet holes. The smoke of the gunfire blanketed the air, and soon, only the ringing staccato of sub-machine guns were the only sound. After about 10 minutes of non-stop gunfire, the whole place suddenly turned quite, as if a switch has been shut off suddenly.   
Then, suddenly, a glow started to emanate from amidst the smoke on the elevator. Everything darkened, and a flash of light arose from the floor, in front of the gunmen. A figure suddenly rose, misty and ghostlike, and yet seemed solid enough to be tangible. It was the figure of a beautiful woman in blue. Sparse coverings of crystals covered the intimate parts of her body, and her eyes froze the blood of the gunmen, who were staring at her in a mixture of awe, lust, and fear. Her figure seemd to be exquisitely carved, and parts of her body shimmered like that of a lady in some medieval lake. Such was the vision of Shiva, the guardian force borne from ice. Cold seemed to immediately permeate the air, and even in their arctic gear, the terrorrists could feel the intense cold creep deep into their tendons and bones. Their teeth chattered and, in a dazzling view of flashes and colors, Shiva arched her back and extended her arms forward. Almost immediately, jagged diamond dusts of crystalline ice made a pathway towards the men, skewering some as they strike out of the ground. Splinters flew outwards, embedding itself into the others. The screams of death echoed throughout the corridor. It was the only sound she needed to hear before she tentatively snuck a peek out of her side of the elevator. Bodies sprawled amidst the splashes of blood spattered on the walls and floor. Some were still twitching, feeling the cold in their hearts.   
"C'mon," she said as she helped Squall up. "Let's get out of here."   
And in the cold, they started their long trek out of the hideout, a pair of black specks amidst the glaring white snow, as the last rays of the sun clung on the far west.   
  
Squall's breathing was ragged, and his teeth started to chatter. When the bullet hit him, it ripped his synth-suit, destroying the fine circuitry that distributed its thermal capability through the whole body. In all intents and purposes, it was no more than just a piece of latex micro-machine mesh now, hardly a covering against the piercing cold. To top it all off, a snowstorm picked this time to rage war against nature. The freezing wind was howling at them, while ice and snow fell like small pebbles.   
"Hold on Squall," she said, trying to find their way. She looked around, amidst the white covered pines and faraway mountains. Looking at her watch, she saw that it was already five minutes to seven in the evening. Their whole operation took less than an hour. She must've taken a wrong turn somewhere. The electronic compass was no use now, broken while on their way out. _Can anything be worse?_ she thought to herself.   
"F-freezing....c-c-cold," Squall gasped, tightening his hold on her in an attempt to share body heat.   
"Don't worry...just hang on," she whispered. "I guess we'll just have to find some place to rest for the night while this storm blows over. We can't find our way back in this storm and with you exhausted and freezing like this."   
She thought she saw him nod.   
Then, in the far distance, her eyes caught a break of brown against the whites. Squinting, she took out her electronic binoculars and turned on the night-vision option. She almost let out a whoop of joy as she saw a cabin. It looked abandoned, but seemed to still be on fine condition. She turned back to Squall, whose lips had started to turn a light shade of blue.   
"Squall, there's a cabin just ahead, a few hundred meters away. Will you be able to manage walking that far?" He nodded weakly, his eyes seeming to drift. Supporting him, and trying to hold her body close to his to warm him, they started the long walk to the place which seemed to be a godsend to two weary souls in this blank place of white and cold.   
  
She had been right. The cabin was abandoned. She turned on the flashlight option of her watch and gave the place a look-around. Thankfully, there were a few things its last owner left behind. And the fireplace was a comforting welcome. She placed Squall in front of it. He huddled over, fetal-position, shivering. At least now, he wasn't beaten down by cold, she thought. But she knew that she had to find something to light up the fireplace. She started to inspect the place better. There has to be some firewood here. She did find some, piled outside the cabin on the back. Carrying an armful, she placed them on the fireplace and cast Firaga on them. The whole place suddenly brightened, and the fire gave flickering light, making shadows dance around the place. The warmth was comforting to Squall, that much she can see, as he edged closer to the fire weakly. She turned off her flashlight and proceeded to inspect the place further.   
She saw an old oak door on the far end of the cabin, and walked to open it. It tried to resist at first, but after some grunts and slams, it finally relented. She swung it open, and was thankful to see some musty and moth-eaten blanket and mattresses. There were also a few candles, although some were uselessly broken now. There was no oil lamp, though. However, seeing their luck, she supposed that she had to be thankful enough. She carried the blanket and mattresses to where Squall was huddled. He was still shivering, inspite of the warmth of the fireplace.   
"Squall, I've found some blanket and mattresses. They're dusty and old, but I suppose they will have to do." She placed the things beside him. Taking a deep breath, she knelt beside him. "We have to get you out of that synth-suit as well. It's wet, and that wouldn't be good to your health. As it stands now, this blanket gives more protection from the cold than your synth-suit, at least until it has dried." Why the hell was she explaining all this? Squall did not respond, still shivering, teeth chattering somewhat. _Oh no. Please don't let this be hypothermia_, she thought to herself, worry starting to build up. Hesitatingly, at first, she ran her hands towards his throat, where she found the small zip-clasp. She undid it, and started to peel the suit off him. It seemed that the suit did more harm than good, as she predicted. His body was effectively wet. The suit, now devoid of its thermal capabilities, absorbed the ice and his body heat has condensed it to water, making him colder the longer he was outside in the cold. The skin-tight fit only made it worse.   
Slowly, she took off the synth-suit from his body. The fire gave off shadows, and she unconsciously found herself looking at his somewhat muscular chest and fine build. Taking the suit off further, her gaze fell on his muscled thighs and..._Damn it Quistis!_ she chided herself. _Keep your eyes off where they shouldn't be! The primary thing here is to keep him warm!_   
Quickly getting off the synth-suit out of his legs finally, she turned and looked away as she placed it to dry in front of the fireplace. The shadows still played at her mind, mentally pricking in them her imaginations. She tried her best to shut them off. To seal them on the far corners of her mind, where they ought to belong. Taking the blanket and mattress, she was finally glad to cover him with it. Wrapping him fully, she softly edged him closer to the fire. He was still shivering, mists coming out of his mouth in the darkness.   
She tried to be calm. In cases of hypothermia, it is imperative that the body be warmed up in gradual degrees. And slowly, something crept into her mind. A lecture she learned while she was still a Garden cadet. _The most effective way to warm a body is for another human being to share their body heat with the victim_. Heart pounding nervously, she looked at Squall and debated whether it was hypothermia, or just extreme cold. Is the fireplace warm enough? The blanket? Is it really necessary...?   
She looked at his face. That dark-brown hair matted wet now, with snow. That scar which made him look even more bestial, and yet more human. The color did come back to his face now. That pale flesh which she only saw turn red in blushing only on rare occassions. His chattering teeth and gasping breath. Was it really necessary...? Finally, she made up her mind. She stood up and, clasping the zip-lock on her throat collar, she undid it and zipped it full-way down to below her navel, exposing her pale flesh to view. She slipped out of the suit, her naked, beautiful figure shadowed by the dancing flames---the only witnesses to the figure many Balamb Garden male students would kill to get a glimpse of. She placed the suit aside, near Squall's, and knelt beside the shivering figure huddled in the pile of blanket and a couple of mattresses. Crawling beside him, she flipped aside the blanket and lay beside him, his back to her. The touch as their skin made contact with each other sent surges of electricity down her body, making her body hair stand on end. Was she crazy to do this? _No_. she thought. _There is nothing more to this than just my need for him to survive. I promised Rinoa..._   
Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him, cradling him. Her breasts flattened on his back, and she won't even try and describe how that felt. There was only the heat between then, and she felt the cold of his body. The mixture of wetness, and the warmth, and her heat didn't help the rapid beating of her heart any. She felt nervous, afraid, excited. Admittedly, there was more excitement then the other two. _What was she thinking?!_ She didn't know how long she was supposed to hold him like this. Maybe until his breathing has recovered in their normal pace. It shouldn't be too hard, she thought. They were so very close to each other now that his breathing seemed to be hers. Every heave of his chest, she felt. Softly, she rested her cheek and lips on his back, just contented on hearing him rapidly breathe time and again. A rhythmic beat which seemed to be her universe for now.   
  
She felt something caress the side of her hair, and she hazily opened her eyes. Drowsiness turned to surprise when she saw Squall facing him, looking at her with that softly-quiet boyish look. It seemed that his breathing had returned to normal, although she could still feel some cold pressing her skin.   
Pressing her skin?!   
Hastily she tried to look at her watch, when he said softly, "It's past midnight."   
"H-how long were you watching me? I mean to say...how long have you been awake?" she asked, her mind a cornocupia of questions and thoughts.   
"About an hour now," he replied. "I...woke up to find you embracing me. I..."   
"I was just tryi--" she hastily started to explain.   
"I know," he said. "I could guess. I was in and out of consciousness. I don't even remember half what happened when we started to walk away from that place..."   
"A-are you okay now?" she asked, concerned.   
"Yes," he said, smiling softly. The way he smiled still sent shivers up her heart. It was just a crush, right? It was just a crush. Nothing more. "Thank you...I...Quisty..."   
She can't scarcely remember when he last called her Quisty, if ever. Quisty? It seemed strange coming out of his mouth. It was like a foreigner saying a common word, and somehow making it sound like an exotic name. Quisty. There was a sensual taste to it.   
They looked at each other's eyes for what seemed like a touch of forever. All other objects around them seemed to be shut out, while they were in their own room, alone. Naked. Their senses seemed to play fiddle with each others'. She could smell the musky scent of him, and the touch she felt on his skin seemed to be so natural. How his hands rested on her hair seemed to have been planned out by some power long ago. Their breathing were ragged, each a testament of the drums playing in their respective hearts. She drowned in his deep brown sea he calls his eyes, and they never flickered nor blinked. The next thing she knew, his lips were pressed closed to hers. She felt the salty-soft taste of his sweat, no doubt by the warmth. By her warmth. By their fires. And even then, she still felt the slightest touch of cold on it. The mixture sent her shivering, and she clasped his lips even more, even as she hurriedly embraced his neck.   
She let out a deep sighing moan as he softly kissed the contours of her neck, feeling her salty taste in his mouth. There are lines and pathways secret to everyone else, but to that man brave enough to explore a woman's cartography. Everything is marked in a woman's body. The sensual places of Lust and Desire. The warmth of Love and Passion. Every place dreamt of by man is found in a woman's land. Hers is the body of untrodden lands. Worldly paradise. And now, he was softly exploring her. Every inch of her. He was drowning in the ocean that was her.   
Softly, he slowly ran fingers on both her arms, to her hands, and finally ended in their hands clasping each others as their passion grew to unbounded heights. Every breath he let out singed her skin; each kiss he made on her stomach, on her thighs, on the valley between her breasts sent her moaning, making her call out his name. Who was drowning in which, now?   
If the nights could be endless, it was etched in frozen seconds that time. Even now, remembering it all, she still shivered as if reliving it brought her back to that moment. Her mind continued on...   
She could still vividly remember how she pushed him on his back, in front of that fireplace and straddled him. Her hair fell sensually on her shoulders and back, the ribbon that clasped it just mere moments ago lying somewhere together with her glasses. The fire made her golden-hair seemed to burn as the sun. Some of the golden strands matted on her forehead, as both of them explored each other, each bathing in each other's sweat. She looked deep into his eyes, wanting him to drown him in her this time. Those eyes were very far from the eyes of the demure intructor at Balamb Garden, so often fantasized by countless male students. Those eyes Squall saw then were the eyes of someone hungry to be filled. She arched her back then, her hands resting on his chest. She heard him softly cry out even as his hands run through her arms. She leaned forward again, kissing his chest and playing with his nipples, those silky soft golden hair caressing his whole body as softly as the wind. She ran kisses from his stomach, to his chest, up to his throat and chin. And then to his mouth, where their tongues fought like snakes on Eve's garden. He brushed trembling hands through matted yellow hair and clasped the back of her neck as they tried to outkiss each other.   
The poetry of two people sharing each other's souls was new to her. She never thought that there was something better then her contentment at guiding young minds. It was only now when she realized just how much she had deprived herself of someone's touch, and affection. Not that she had a world of experience, this being her first time, but she could actually touch Squall more than the physical now. When was lust ever in conjunction with love? For so long, she had held off her feelings, putting it in the pretense of a mere "crush". She never realized just how deprived she was. She did love Squall. It was foolish of her to suppress that. She loved him when she laid eyes on him amongst the other boys in her class. She tried to reach through his wall of security and aloofness, wanting to get in and find out what makes him so anti-social and sullen. She wanted every part of him, then. And all of it she hid under the mask of a "crush". Was she wrong in doing that? The blankets were thrown aside, and the matresses forgotten. The fires danced around their naked bodies, witnessing wild, unbridled passion at play. Every corner of their bodies was cast in deep shadows, while their eyes burned more fiercely than the fire in the fireplace. She lost count on how many times she was brought to the penultimate that time. She lost count of how many times she cried out his name, or how much blood of his her fingers drew as she clutched feverishly on his shoulders.   
There was only her, and him that existed that time. Them, and nothing else.   
  
When they went back to Rinoa's mansion at Deling, she couldn't meet her eyes. Rinoa still greeted them enthusiastically, kissing Squall as if they haven't met in ages. She felt a pang of jealousy at that, and it was all she could do not to turn away and look at somewhere else. Look at something. Anything, except that kiss. The only consolation she felt was that she thought Squall wasn't as enthusiastic as before. Or maybe that was just her wishful thinking.   
"You both are alright!" Rinoa said happily, brushing back black hair. She turned and embraced Quistis. "I knew you would look out for him. So, how was the mission? Was it successful? Was my Squall being a blockhead?" She giggled at that.   
"Y-yes," she stammered. "The mission was a great success, Rinny. And...Squall wasn't being a blockhead. Not at all...I think you've cured him of that." She gave her a smile which she fervently hoped was genuine.   
"You have to stay the night here!" She said to them both. "I wouldn't take no for an answer! I think your Headmaster Cid wouldn't miss you for a day more! Besides, I have tried to perfect cooking something for when you two arrives." She turned to Squall and playfully looked up at him. "I cooked your favorite."   
Squall looked at Rinoa and smiled, not saying anything. The fact that he'd been silent most of the time didn't seem to strike Rinoa as odd, thank heavens. They accepted her invitation.   
After the meal, the three of them chatted for quite a bit, sitting on the main room. Rinoa was leaning on Squall on the couch, her arms wrapped around his while she intentionally sat across them, on an old leather chair. Squall looked at her in that questioning way of his that made her uncomfortable, and she tried to look at anything else but the two of them. Finally, she excused herself politely, saying that she was a bit weary of the travel, and that the two might need some private time together. Saying those last few words almost made her choke. She hurriedly went upstairs, to the room assigned to her.   
Upon closing the door, she immediately leaned back against it, and cried, slipping slowly down until she sat on the floor, burying her face in her hands. Until now, she wasn't one to lose her composure. Indeed, she had been known to be one of the coolest and more calculated instructors in the whole B-Garden. But right now, she was a total and emotional wreck.   
She didn't know what hurt more: the fact that her affirmations with her feelings for Squall were true, or the fact that she had just violated the trust of one of her closest friends. She felt angry whenever she looked at them together, now. Insanely jealous. She didn't even know if she had the right to feel that way. And felt guilty for doing so. Rinoa was always open to her, and the dark-haired girl knew that she "felt" something for Squall even before they met. When she reassured her that it was only a mere "crush" and nothing more, she seemed to have bonded with her more. And now, what happened just put a serious strain on her feelings about herself, Squall, and Rinoa. She looked up at the ceiling, tears streaming down her pretty face. God, what had she done?   
Betrayals were something new to her. In all her life, she had never betrayed someone's trust before, professionally or otherwise. And now, the burden was too much for her to bear. It was like having a bomb inside your chest, waiting to explode, but the room inside a human heart was only so much. She wanted to explode; to let loose all these feelings of hurt, and guilt, and pain. Green was the color of envy, and red were her eyes from crying. She immediately got up and rummaged through her traveling bag, looking for something. She immediately found it placed beneath her brassieres. Her old diary which she had kept eversince she started training in Garden. It was one of the very few things she kept after all these years. In it, she placed every secret and feeling she had ever wanted to write down. Her first schoolgirl "crush". The first time she noticed Squall sitting there solemnly in the corner on that day he first became her student. The adventures they had battling Ultimecia.   
All the major events in her young life she had in there.   
She lay stomach-down on her bed, not caring to change to her nightgown. She started writing. The pen flew across the page automatically, without even so much as a pause.   
  
_"I love him. Dammit, but I do. When we made love in that cabin that night, I fully realized just how much I've held back after all these times. I shouldn't have dismissed it just so, like that. Maybe, it would have been me and him, instead of Rinoa. Rinny, I'm sorry. I violated your trust. I don't know what came over me that time. Over the two of us. You held me so dear in your heart like a true friend, and I repaid you with this. I'm sorry, Rinny. Please. Forgive me. Dear heavens, forgive me.   
There is only so much pain and guilt a human heart can endure. Only so many secrets it can keep. I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe to at least let out a few of the pain I feel. Most of the guilt. I shouldn't have tripped that wire back there. It was supposed to be so easy. Just retrieve the disk and get out as silenbtly as we came. But it never did happen that way. And one thing led to another, and now I'm feeling like hell.   
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry........"_   
  
She screamed and ripped out the page and crumpled it and threw it at the trash basket, and then broke down again, sobbing. Tears fell down on the bed much like rain do whenever there is a mourning. In a way, there was. Something died inside of her. Something personal. Something that made her her. She fell asleep that night, crying.   
And now, they were nearing B-Garden. No doubt the news of their success would be greeted with acclaim, and Headmaster Cid would be beaming down at them again, like so many times in the past. But she did not care. She just looked out of the vehicle's window and watched the trees pass by.   
"Quisty, we're almost there," Squall said, interrupting her thoughts. "Are you alright? You've been quite the past few days."   
"I'm alright Squall," she smiled at him and then turned back to look outside.   
_As alright as a traitor can be._   
  



	2. II

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**H**eadmaster Cid was all smiles when they reported in his office the moment they arrived. Squall, as expressionless as always, stood beside her in front of the headmaster's desk. But Quistis could sense that beneath that calm facade was a clash of feelings. At least, that's what she hoped. Fervently. Her eyes were furtively trying to snatch glances of him, trying to see any sense of trouble or doubt in that handsome scarred face. That was what she had been doing all these times. Her heart was beating loudly, pounding with every pulse-beat. What was she doing? she thought. Trying to share the guilt that she felt right now with him?   
"The corporation wants to extend their utmost gratitude for a job well done," Cid smiled, crossing his fingers in front of him as he sat in his swivel chair. "They were so thankful, in fact, that they added a little bonus to the original fee. You did not encounter any problems with the mission, didn't you?"   
"No," Squall responded. "We had some...setbacks, headmaster...but nothing we can't deal with."   
Quistis looked at him, surprise evident in her pretty face. How could he be so damn calm? Did she read him wrong when she thought, no, _wished_, that he felt guilty after their tryst?   
"Ah, setbacks," Cid repeated. "Missions always have them. I knew I did not make any mistake putting you both in that mission. You both did a very fine job. Extra gil creds had been added to both your respective accounts. I'm sure you both need a rest after everything. You're both dismissed."   
They both turned around, Squall never so much as looking back at the headmaster. Quistis hesitated for just the briefest of a second, and followed the young man.   
"Instructor Trepe?" Cid called her just as she was about to walk out of the door.   
She froze in mid-step. Damn it! But she was getting to be a nervous wreck all of a sudden! What was happening to her? She turned around, trying to maintain a passive face as she could. It was as if she was afraid that everyone might know what happened between her and Squall just from reading her face alone. "Yes, headmaster?"   
Cid let out a grin. "Your students have been getting restless, wondering when you would be back. Of course, as expected, Ruth did an extraordinary job of substituting for you, but it seems that what they want was you. You have quite a following, Instructor."   
"J-just some student admiration for their teacher, headmaster," she nervously blushed, trying to bite her lower lip. "Nothing more. I think it's perfectly natural. I will be resuming my class soon."   
"Well, I'm sure they have every reason to admire you, Instructor," Cid said. "But I would hope that it goes to nothing more than that?"   
"N-no, headmaster, certainly not," she hastily said. "I have no time to be feeling anything emotional to anyone right now. To me, my work is my passion. Nothing else."   
"I am glad to hear that," Cid said. "You can go now. And congratulations for a job well done."   
"Thank you," Quistis said, before turning away quickly. Her lips were quivering. _You're a very bad liar, Quistis Trepe_, she told herself. _A very bad liar_.   
  
She found Squall waiting for him outside Cid's room, leaning on the wall, his arms and legs crossed in that aloof manner of his. She mustered the courage to walk up to him, trying to raise her head calmly and confidently.   
"What did the headmaster say?" he asked.   
"Nothing terribly important," she said, continuing to walk. Without missing a beat, Squall walked beside her.   
"Quisty..." he started.   
"How can you be so calm?" Quistis interrupted him. "Back there. Back at Rinoa's house. After everything that has happened, how could you afford to be so damn calm, Squall?"   
"Look!" Squall said, stopping and holding her by her shoulders with both hands. She looked defiantly in his eyes. Those deep pools of dark brown which she so loved looking at nights ago. Right now, hers was brimming with tears behind those cute glasses which have become part of her identity. "Don't think that this hadn't weighed so heavily on me, as well. If there's anyone here who should be wrestling with his emotions, it should be me! And I am! Dammit, Quisty! Don't think I've shrugged everything off!"   
"Then why don't you show it, Squall?!" she cried, her hands clenched into fists. Tears were running down her cheeks now. It did not occur to her that right now, they were in the middle of the Garden hall, and students and instructors alike were passing right by them, some stopping and wondering what's happening. But she did not care. To hell with them! "You act as if nothing of consequence happened! As if it was nothing more than a dream, or a nightmare, however way you would look at it! Damn you! Do you know how alone I felt right now? As if I'm the only one carrying this deep guilt inside of me?!"   
People were starting to gawk now, looking at them both. Squall's eyes narrowed a bit, looking at her crying in front of him. It seemed like his hands were the only ones supporting her right now. He had never seen Quistis cry like this before. She had always struck him as one of the most confident and strongest women she had ever met. And right now, she was as defenseless as a naked woman in a battlefield. "Quisty, I'm sorry. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We both sha--"   
"No!" Quistis said, interrupting him again. "I don't need your apologies. Or your consolations." She wiped away tears with the back of her wrist, and her eyes narrowed decisively at him. "I just want to be alone. Until I can think things over. Until I know just where the hell I stand, and how my feelings are. For now, Squall, I don't want to be near you again. Not until I can take control of my feelings and emotions again."   
"Quisty, that's not fair!" Squall almost shouted. As if doing so would knock some sense into the young woman's head.   
"You know what's not fair, Squall?" Quistis said, shaking away from him, stepping back. "Knowing the feeling you still have for Rinoa, and yet doing what we did back there. You're right. This is not fair. This is not fair for her. And I don't think this feeling I have for you is fair for the three of us, either. So just...go away. Please. I don't want us to be in contact with each other for now. For both of our sakes."   
With that, she walked away towards the main elevator, tears still streaming down her face. The students and instructors who were there gave her way, some whispering to each other, no doubt asking just what was happening. The fact that everyone knew her and Squall did not help matters any.   
Squall, for his part, just looked at her as the elevator door closed on her as she leaned on the circular wall, her beautiful face buried in her hands. Long after the elevator started, he was still there, looking where he saw her last. Just standing there like an idiot as Garden residents looked at him and trying to deduce what just happened with intrigue. Then he, too, walked away. The expression on his face caused people to jump out of his way as he passed.   
_Just what the hell did I do now?_ he asked himself.   
  
When Quistis arrived in her room, she softly closed the door behind her, leaned against it for a minute and then sat on her bed, and buried her face in her hands again. She just realized what she did, and now, she didn't know if she regretted it or not. Everything was happening on impulse, and every decision she was making was made on shaky emotions and crumbled logic. She knew that she shouldn't be sputtering out decisions right now. Knew that doing so would only exacerbate the situation. But she couldn't help it. Before all this happened, being with Squall gave her a rush of girly feelings. As if she was a schoolgirl all over again, instead of one of Balamb Garden's most respected faculty. But now, being with him meant being reminded of the betrayal she made for Rinoa. Of the betrayal she made for herself. And of the betrayal of every virtue she so carefully tried to maintain all these years. Who could ever thought that that one act of abandoning all passion and emotions that one night (which seemed to have been like eternity ago already) could have this grave of a repercussion? In essence, the decision she just made had not only made her alienate herself from Squall, but also, she had just successfully alienated herself from the same person who could have probably helped her. She did not want to be far from him. Having recognized the real feelings she felt for him now, she realized just how much she needed to be with him. She realized that the only way this feeling of pain could be temporarily lifted from her heart is for her to just hold his hand, and see that warm, boyish smile she fell in love with everyday. But paradoxically, doing so would only cause her more hurt. To say that she was utterly confused was a gross understatement.   
"Squall," she murmured in between sobs. "What have I done?"   
What pushed her to that decision was Squall's attitude itself. She knew that. How she wished she could be just like him. Just hide whatever she is feeling in a mask of complete and total blankness. She wondered so long ago how Squall could ever bear to hide behind that mask. Now, she knew. And she realized that that was just what she needed right now. A mask. A false face of total expressionless stone. Cold, and hard, and unreadable. Right now, she was afraid that her sin would be written all over her face for everyone to see. And they would realize just how much of an "innocent and pure" instructor she really was. She wondered how many hearts would be broken with that? She could almost laugh.   
It was at this point that the door softly opened, and in walked a pretty woman with dark-brown hair cut to her shoulders. She was wearing a smile when she peeked in, only to see the back of her friend, sitting there by the bed. Xu, who had been her friend and confidante eversince their cadet years. Dear old Xu who had advised her on her first love problem. And Xu, who can't get enough of teasing her with Squall. Right now, she was the last person she wanted to talk to. But paradoxically, she was the only person right now she wanted to talk to, as well. Her life was becoming a box of paradoxes.   
"I heard that you've arrived from your mission in Trabia," she said. "So how did you and Sq--"   
Quistis turned around to look at her. When Xu saw her eyes red-rimmed and in tears, she immediately wiped away the teasing smile she wore and immediately closed the door behind her and sat beside her friend, her face turning serious.   
"Quisty," she asked softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "What's the matter? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"   
"It's...It's Squall..." she replied, sobbing again.   
"Why? What happened to Squall?" Xu asked. "I thought the mission went wonderfully. He wasn't hurt, was he...?"   
Quistis shook her head.   
"Then, what's wrong?" Xu asked. "Did something bad happen between you two?"   
It was then that Quistis realized. No matter how close a confidante Xu was, she could never tell her what happened. Not now, at least. Right now, she couldn't trust anyone else to understand her. How could she, when she couldn't even trust herself? When she couldn't even understand how she was feeling? She looked at the comforting face of her friend, that face who shared tears and laughters with her after all these years, and suddenly, she embraced her, tears streaming down her face to her friend's blue SeeD uniform. "I'm sorry, Xu," she sobbed. "I can't tell you everything. Not now. I...I have to get in terms with myself first, and with the people I have hurt. Only then can I talk to you freely...I'm sorry. Please understand...please...."   
"With the people you've hurt?" Xu asked, genuinely perplexed at how her friend had been acting. "Quisty, who are these people? Who caused you this much pain? What's the matter?"   
"Squall," Quistis said slowly. "I...I love him, Xu. Hyne help me, but I do! All those times you've teased me with him, I tried to brush it away. But with what has happened lately, I cannot deny it anymore. I love him. With all my soul. I do love him..."   
"Oh Quisty," Xu said, and hugged her friend back, gently patting her back. "Then why don't you tell him? Why don't you go find him right now, and tell him this? I know he and Rinoa are still on, but if you just tell him, you'll feel better. Trust me."   
She let go on Xu, and shook her head. "You don't understand. I...I just told him I don't want want to be anywhere near him. I...I can't be anywhere near him. It hurts too much..."   
Really confounded now, Xu looked at her friend strangely. "You're not making much sense Quisty, you know that? After all the years we shared, I think this is the first time I've seen you not making a mite of sense."   
_Oh heavens_, she thought, burying her face in her hands again. Lately, it seemed as if the darkness that was in there was her only comfort. And the sound that she made as each sob she let out was her only release. If only she could tell her. If only her emotions weren't so discombobulated right now. So many "ifs".   
"I know, I know," Quisty said softly. "Everything's just so damn complicated." Or maybe, she thought that she was just the one complicating things. But she couldn't help that now. Her emotions were taking control of her logic.   
She looked back at her friend, and her eyes showed pleading. Xu tried hard to remember where she saw those eyes before. It was then that she realized. She was looking at the eyes of a person who was trapped in quicksand.   
  
He was angry. But above that, he was hurt. And confused. And other things which were adding to the whirlpool of pervading and conflicting feelings brewing and sloshing inside his heart and mind for days now.   
Squall walked towards the dormitory, to his room, wearing a face of sullen and dangerous expression that made cadets hastily walk out of his way. Right about now, it would seem that people were avoiding him as if he was Seifer. All for the better, he thought, as he can't guarantee that he can't snap at anyone who would so much as talk to him right now.   
Which was exactly what happened to Zell.   
He saw Squall walking his way and he grinned, like he always did when he meets him. He and Irvine had just recently finished their mission in Dollet successfully, and he was on high spirits. Especially when Iris showed him four tickets to the acclaimed play "I Want To Be Your Canary". He can't wait to show it to Squall.   
When Squall just passed him without so much as a glance, however, he raised an eyebrow, and started to catch up to him.   
"Hey! Squallie-boy!" Zell said, walking beside him.   
_Go away, Zell._   
"I heard you and Quisty got some trouble up in the Trabia alps," he grinned. "Glad to see that everything's A-Okay!"   
_It's not, so go away._   
"Hey! By the way! Iris got us some tickets to that 'I Want To Be Your Canary' play-thingie," Zell went on, getting the four silver-tipped tickets from out his leather jacket.   
_I don't care. Just...leave me alone._   
"Iris said that it was directed and produced by that famous Sakaguchi fellow! She was all so gushed up on it," Zell said, not caring to notice how Squall had been clenching and unclenching his fists. "She got four tickets. I was thinking that maybe, you and Rinoa could come with us? Or if she's not available, you and Quisty? I offered it to Irvine a while ago but he said that he and Selphie were b---"   
Without warning, Squall turned to face him, his face unmistakably irritated and angry. "Look! I don't care about your damn tickets. I don't care about the play. I don't care about Irvine's reason, or whatever it was you want to tell me. Right now, I only want to punch someone. Don't let it be you."   
"W-whoa," Zell said, taking a few steps back, both hands raised. "T-take it easy! Sheesh! If you don't want to see a Canary, you could just say 'No' like any normal person! You don't have to snarl at me like that! Look, I know you're into this lion thingie, but don't you think snarling just seems taking it a bit too far?"   
Unable to control his anger anymore, Squall got Zell by the collar and, without so much as a pause, gave the tattoo-faced boy a punch that sent him sprawling to the Garden floor. The people around them gasped. Without so much as another glance, Squall walked away towards the dorm, leaving Zell touching his sore jaw. He got up, and looked at his friend, his face a mixture of question and confusion. "What the hell did I just say?"   
  
He did not mean to do that to Zell. He wanted to go back to him and apologize, but his pride won't let him. He just mumbled a soft apology that went unheard by anyone but himself.   
After unfairly venting his ire on Zell, Squall tried to clear his head, tried to better control his emotions. He finally got to his room and softly opened the door, and closed it behind him just as softly. Shuffling to his bed, he sat on it and leaned back on the wall, arms placed on either knee. Absentmindedly, he slowly and rhythmically knocked the back of his head repeatedly on the wall.   
Quistis was a bit too unfair with her accusations, he thought. How the hell could she really think that what happened didn't affect him terribly? It was the only thing that managed to successfully blow apart his ordered world eversince they defeated Ultimecia and he went walking in nowhere in that great slab of rock after Time Compression. He thought that this event now was even worse, seeing as how that was purely physical while this was something that he had nurtured for the past year, with Rinoa. And now, a huge crack was slowly showing in his heart-carved world. He loves Rinoa. He does. She was the one who made him feel alive again. She was the one who showed him that he was a human who had feelings, and that those feelings can bloom given the proper attention and care. He loves the feel of her lips on his, and the feel of her silky black hair as it touched his fingers. He loves her smile, which she always has for him, and that mischievous look she always gives him whenever he turns too serious. He loves everything about her.   
Then why the hell did he kissed Quistis that night in the cabin, which essentially was the fuse that started this whole goddamn thing?   
Emotions were a dangerous thing. Especially when it was dancing with Mood. The soft light the fireplace gave the whole room back then; the soft warmth it gave together with her naked body; the feeling that no single soul except the two of them was present for many miles around---these were factors which made him clasp her lips. But they were only that: factors. There had to be something else. Something bigger. Otherwise, he'd just be acknowledging the fact that he was weaker than he thought.   
He had always found Quistis attractive. She was a girl sensible enough to know the extent of her great charms, and yet tried to subdue it by wearing those glasses, and placing her hair in that style. Which made him comment on that while on the train on their way to Deling. That was, in his opinion, the time when he started to see her in a new light. That one act alone of letting her hair fall loosely on her shoulder, framing that angelic bespectacled face of hers. She was a woman who can exude sophistication in whatever clothes, and in whatever situation. Her attempts at trying to be natural, at trying to blend in with everyone by wearing those glasses and hairstyle, these ironically made her more sexy and charming. If circumstances were otherwise, he knew that she would have been a girl he would've fallen in love with, given time.   
_Would've._   
But the fact was he didn't want to be in love then. The fact was it was Rinoa who showed him the great promise of that feeling. Quistis was always the Instructor-figure. The teacher to his being a student. She never showed him anything more than just attempts to understand him. Back then, she always showed special attention to him amongst her other students. Why, he did not know. And that made him wary of her intentions more. He had always been regarded as "fortunate" by many of his peers because of how the great Instructor Quistis Trepe paid extra attention to him. And there were rumours that she had a crush on him (which he found out to be true that night in the Dance when they passed their field exam). But the fact was, back then, he didn't trust anyone. He had always been alone, and for a girl to show him that emotion and attention in subtle hints made him suspicious. In fact, that was what he felt too, when he first met Rinoa. It was only purely by circumstance that she finally managed to break through his stronghold. Again, if circumstances were otherwise, would he have fallen for Quistis instead of Rinoa?   
And now, after what happened in the cabin, after feeling her intimately; after probing the depths of her womanhood, Squall was beginning to see her beyond the bounds of a teacher-fighter-superior image. He saw her as a woman of his peer. He saw her as a sensual creature which gave him unheard of feelings of ecstacy that night. And he felt her as someone who truly loves him as a person and not as the Squall Leonheart who defeated Ultimecia. Or the Squall Leonheart many Garden girls thought physically sexy. Quistis trusted him enough to give herself fully to him. And that was beginning to put dents in the seemingly invincible world he and Rinoa made for the past year. Despite some heavy kissing and intimate moments he shared with Rinoa, he never felt the need to put it any further than that. Maybe it was because of something inherently within Quistis that's not in Rinoa. Maybe it was because...Quistis was more of a woman, while Rinoa was more of a girl. _Hyne, this was beginning to complicate things more_. He placed both hands on the sides of his head, trying to sort things out in his mind. It was like sorting a huge mound of differently colored tangled yarn.   
There was a knock at the door, which was followed by a voice. "Squall? Are you there?"   
"Fuck off, Irvine," he said wearily.   
Instead, the door opened to reveal the cowboy hat-wearing former Galbadia Garden SeeD. As always, his face was calm and composed. He regarded him with a mixture of amusement and seriousness. "My. When you start using cuss words, I know something is definitely up." Squall sighed, not having the strength to make him go away. He was that weary.   
"I just talked with Zell," Irvine said, leaning on the table just across his bed. "He said to tell you that if you ever have a change of heart and decide to give up gunblades, you definitely have a good future as a martial artist. Or a pugilist, whichever suits you."   
Squall just managed to give his friend a tired smile. "Tell him I'm sorry for what I did. How is he?"   
"Oh, Dr. Kadowaki said he'll be fine," Irvine replied. "Although I think he and Iris won't be doing any major French kissing for now. You broke his lip."   
Squall winced, looking away for a bit. _Sorry Zell. And Iris._   
"So mind telling me what's the matter?" Irvine asked. "You're not exactly the type to go on throwing punches when you're not in the mood. That's usually Seifer's domain. Or maybe it's just a Gunblade-wielder thing?"   
"You wouldn't understand," Squall said, resuming knocking the back of his head softly at the wall, his hands clasped in front of him on his knee.   
Irvine looked at him for a full minute, his arms crossed, studying him. Then, he said. "Woman problem."   
Squall stopped what he was doing, and looked at his friend with a slight surprise at his face. Was he _that_ obvious? "H-how did you know?" He blurted out softly, and then regretted it.   
Irvine gave him a slight laugh, looking away for a split second, and then looking back at him. Scorpios. Figures. They said most Scorpios have an uncanny sense of perception. Not that Squall believed in all that astrology-mumbo-jumbo stuff.   
"So. You and Rinoa had a fight?" Irvine asked.   
"No," Squall said. "It's not that easy. I...I dunno, Irv. As of now, I don't have a fuckin' idea what I'm supposed to do. Or what I'm supposed to feel." He was cussing again.   
"Let me guess," Irvine said, putting a hand on his chin thoughtfully. "You think you're starting to fall for another woman, and now you can't tell Rinoa because she might go ballistic on you and also end up hurting her feelings?"   
"S-something like that," Squall said. Hyne, he never had this problem before. But then, he supposed Irvine had. Although to what extent, he did not know. All he knew was that when it came to women, Irvine was the man for the job. Maybe he could help. "I don't care if Rinoa'll get mad at me for what happened. She had every right to. I just...don't want to hurt her feelings."   
"Seeing that look on your face, I gather that you just did, Squall. If you tell her what happened, that is," Irvine said. "Just what the heck happened, anyway?"   
Squall looked at his friend for a moment. He could trust Irvine, that much he knew. However, just telling him that he cheated on Rinoa was one thing. Telling him that he cheated on Rinoa, and the third person was Quistis was another. And telling him that he cheated on Rinoa with Quitis, and that something _did_ happen with him and Quistis was a whole different world altogether. How would they react when they knew that he and Quistis had just explored each other's feelings, literally?   
"You don't have to tell me the specifics if you don't want to," Irvine said. "Just give the third party an alias. Look, Squall, I know you're not exactly a pro when it comes to heart matters. I mean, before Rinoa, you only had, what, one girlfriend? And from what I heard you blew that clear off the water. But I know you're real serious with Rinoa. And the fact that she's my friend too...well, let's just say I don't want her to hurt, either. All of us had been through a lot together. You guys're about the closest friends I have. We can try and work things out together, before she knows whatever it is you just did. Besides, if you think I'll just let that fact that I had to play a bass guitar on that concert we prepared for you both back then go to waste because of a minor case of infidelity, you're wrong. So, tell me. What happened?"   
_"Minor" case of infidelity?_ Squall could almost laugh at that.   
"I-I'm afraid it's not exactly that minor, Irv," Squall said. "The third party...well.."   
"Hey, hey. You don't have to tell me the specifics, remember?" Irvine said. "Just--"   
"It's Quisty," Squall finished, not bothering to hear what his friend said.   
At that, Irvine's mouth froze in mid-speak. After a moment, he gathered his composure. "Q-Quisty?"   
Squall nodded.   
"_Our_ Quisty???" Irvine repeated.   
Squall nodded again.   
"Hoo boy," Irvine said. "Forget what I said about specifics. W-when did this mess start?"   
"A few days ago," Squall said. "During our Trabia mission."   
"W-w-waitwait," Irvine said, frowning a bit. "I can believe that a person could fall in love instantly for someone else in a matter of a few days. But not you. Before Rinoa, I doubt if you'd be able to touch that particular feeling with a 20-foot gunblade. And especially not Quisty! You have never felt anything for her! At least, I mean, not that I can sense eversince I hooked up with you guys..."   
"I know, I know," Squall said. "It's hard to believe. But..."   
"Wait. Back then, you said something about 'what happened'," Irvine said, interrupting him again. "I suppose this 'thing' that happened happened while on the mission too?"   
Squall did not reply.   
"Squall, look at me," Irvine said, growing serious now. "Look at me, dammit!"   
Squall hesitantly did. Under that piercing gaze, he knew the inevitable would happen.   
"You did not...I mean, Quistis and you didn't..." Irvine stammered. He knew that Quistis felt something for Squall, no matter how much she said that it's just a 'crush'.   
What Irvine saw in Squall's eyes just confirmed what the young sharpshooter suspected. He threw up his hands and rolled his eyes, unable to believe what he just found out. "Man. This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? Dammit Squall, what the flaming hell were you thinking?! And with Quisty at that! QUISTIS!"   
"Did you think I didn't know that?!" Squall snapped back. "Why the hell did you think I've been having these guilt and doubts now? Why the hell did you think I punched Zell in the face? Dammit, Irv, you were supposed to help me! Not push me in deeper!"   
"Okayokay," Irvine said, trying to calm things down. "First off, tell me what happened. How things led to one thing, and then another. We'll work our way from there."   
And Squall poured out all his feelings. Let loose all his guilt. And Irvine just leaned on that table across him, hand on his chin, listening as his friend told him of the event that he never thought could happen.   
  
"Instructor! Welcome back!"   
"Congratulations on a mission well done!"   
"We're glad to see that you're safe, Instructor!"   
"Thank Hyne, I now have enough motivation to wake up early everyday!"   
Everyone laughed at that. The young cadet who said it turned red in embarrassment. Quistis just managed a soft smile as she placed her books on the table in front of the class. She was wearing the comfortable fit of a Garden Instructor now. And she was glad to finally be at a world where she could momentarily forget her problems.   
After yesterday, she tried to forget about Squall. It had been difficult, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance everytime she greeted a person she knew, or everytime a student (mostly male) would stop and greet her a very good morning. It was hard, trying to pretend that nothing happened. She still felt as she was wearing a sign telling everyone of what happened. Every corner, she prayed that Squall won't suddenly appear. She would never know what to do, then. A barrier was beginning to form, and Hyne only knows how that would affect things.   
"I trust you all had a good time while I've been away?" Quistis smiled, as she leaned on her desk.   
"Well, Jojo has been hyperventilating every morning while you were gone, Instructor," a young girl named Kayla giggled, as they looked at a young man with black hair sitting on the middle row. Everyone chuckled.   
"I-I did not!" the young man reddened defensively. "It was only on the first day!"   
Quistis just shook her head and smiled. If only it were someone else who did that for her. Instantly, she brushed the thought away. _Don't think about him_, she thought to herself. _Don't even imagine his name_.   
"How was Commander Leonheart, Instructor?" a young girl from the back row suddenly asked. She immediately looked to see who asked that question. She found out that it was Reina, a beautiful, petite red-haired girl who had a tremendous crush on Squall.   
"W-what do you mean, Reina?" Quistis asked. How the hell did they know? They didn't tell anyone that something happened to Squall. Does that mean that they also knew about...the incident? At that thought, she paled.   
"Well," Reina said. "We heard rumours that..."   
_Oh my god!__T-they knew?!_ She paled even more.   
"...the synth-suit he was wearing had a bullet hole in it. He wasn't...shot was he?" Reina asked. "I-Instructor? W-was it something I said? Y-you're trembling."   
"W-w-what? O-oh, n-nothing, Reina. No, it's nothing," _Dammit Quistis! Get a hold of yourself. They didn't know. Only the suit. Just the suit_. "Y-yes. Squ--I mean, Commander Leonheart was shot, but it was nothing serious. A dose of Curaga was all it took to heal him of the injury."   
With that, Reina let out an obvious sigh of relief and sat back to her chair. Her classmates started teasing her about it, and the young girl blushed. This was all lost to Quistis, however, as she softly massaged her temple. Hyne, she was becoming paranoid.   
"Okay," she said, interrupting the class teasings. "Today, we're going to discuss all about Junctions and how they can help you wi--"   
She immediately stopped in confusion as her students' attention were focused on the door. Questioningly, she looked.   
There was Rinoa. Her beautiful face was set in anger, those dark eyes narrowed in obvious contempt. She was wearing a beautiful light-blue blouse and dark jeans. It was a stark contrast to her expression.   
"R-Rinny..." she stammered. "H-how are you? I did not expect you t--"   
She never got to finish what she was going to say as Rinoa strode into the room, her anger getting more and more evident as they got closer. Then, without warning, she threw back her hand and slapped Quistis across the face. Hard. Quistis, in shock, could only touch the red mark that started appearing in her pale cheek. The class gasped.   
"I...trusted you..!" Rinoa said, her eyes as red as hers from crying, before throwing down a crumpled piece of paper in front of her. Then, without another word, Rinoa turned around and walked away. The class followed her with their eyes until she was gone from the room. Then, in unison, they turned back to their Instructor, who still stood there, stunned and in shock.   
Quistis' gaze followed Rinoa, even as the dark-haired girl disappeared from her view. Then, she slowly looked down, at her feet where the angry girl threw down the piece of paper. Slowly, she picked it up and opened it. It was a familiar page, etched in her mind now. The words were familiar too. _"I love him. Dammit, but I do..."_   
With every word she re-read of it, her heart sank even more lower, and her eyes started to fall tears of their own accord. She was oblivious to her students now. Rinoa knew. She knew. The slap she gave was nothing compared to what she said. _I trusted you_.   
When she lowered the paper down to see the door, she saw Squall there. Standing.   
  



	3. III

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**A**fter telling Irvine of the whole story that time yesterday morning in his room, Squall felt a tad bit lighter on the chest. But only a bit. Irvine just leaned on that table, then, feet crossed and hand on his chin, thinking deeply. True, Irvine had been in situations like these before, but not nearly like _this_.   
As Squall told him the story, he could hardly believe that all this was happening. It seemed almost surreal. If it would've been any other of those girl cadets at Balamb Garden---and Hyne only knows just how many looked up to Squall as if he's the Adonis of B-Garden---he would've accepted it compacently by half. But Quistis? It was really vastly different knowing that two of your closest friends, whom you thought just had a purely platonic relationship, had just consummated their "fanciful attraction and crush" feelings in a frenzy of unbridled passion and unbound lust. And on a deserted cabin in an isolated snow-covered mountain at that! If there was one thing he had to give to Squall, though, it was that the kid knew how to pick the best places to make love in.   
So Irvine told him the best course of action he could think of. Talk. Nothing good would come out of everything if both of them would just sulk and wallow in their own misery and guilt, and pretend that the other did not exist. It was childish, he told him. They were supposed to act like adults now. The fact that Quistis told him that she didn't want to see him for some time meant that she was inwardly crying for help and companionship. And right now Squall was the only person qualified enough to sift things through with her. And as a gentleman, he was honor-bound to be the first to swallow his pride and walk up to her, and tell her that they should talk. Never mind the fact that right then, Squall felt that he had as much honor as a backstabbing, two-timing snake.   
  
So that was precisely what Squall set out to do this morning. To walk up to her in the middle of her class and ask her to talk. He knew that if he'd approach her at any other time, it would be for nothing. Quistis would see him a mile away and she'd take another route, no matter if it would mean going around the Garden, or the whole of Balamb if it would call for that. Anywhere, just as long as she wouldn't have to meet him. So it had to be in her class. She wouldn't have anywhere else to go. Besides, he thought, she wouldn't dare try and refuse in front of her students. It would raise enough suspicions. Not that what happened yesterday in the hallway wasn't suspicious enough. He already had everything set in his mind: what he was going to say, how he would say, and how he would convince her. And everything was going according to how he planned it.   
Except for the little fact that he saw Rinoa storm out of Quistis' classrooom.   
Heart pounding, he started to run towards the classroom. Rinoa didn't see him as she turned away and disappeared in the corner. Was she crying? Heavens, he hoped not!   
He stopped just in front of the open door, pulse skipping and eyes wild with what he suspected, and hoped to heavens that he was wrong. He saw Quistis' face partly hidden by a crumpled stationery piece of paper, and he distinctly noticed that her hands were shaking. Everything seemed to be frozen in eternity even as his heart seemed to be beating as loudly as a bass drum. He tried to drive the reality away. _This was not happening_, he thought. _This was not happening!_   
When Quistis lowered the piece of paper, he saw her looking at him, tears freely flowing from pale blue eyes. Her lips were quivering, and her breath seemed rapid and gasping. And he couldn't help but see the angry red mark on her left cheek. He wanted to die right there and then. And still, the class looked on at what unfolded, silent and astounded. His head rapidly shifted from the crying Quistis to where he last saw Rinoa. Rapidly shifted as if his head was a balance scale tipping a dozen times a second. Decisions were tossed in his mind. What to do? What to say?   
_Whom to go?_   
Eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at Quistis standing there shaking, his hands gripped the door frame tightly for a second before he turned away and started to run to where Rinoa went.   
And in the classroom, Quistis crumpled the piece of paper with her right hand and supported herself weakly with the table, even as her left wiped her nose as she cried. Her defenses had broken down completely, and she was turning dizzy.   
"Dammit," Jojo stood up breaking the silence even as he looked at his classmates. "Give her some water!"   
The students then scrambled to help their beloved Instructor. But all this was out of Quistis' world now. She was crying as she felt another pain well up inside her. Squall's eyes as he looked at her one last time before turning and running after Rinoa hurt more than even what Rinoa said to her. Those eyes which showed passion and promise just nights ago in that cabin. Those eyes which she adored eversince she laid hers on them. Those eyes which made her heart flutter whenever he gazed at her.   
Those eyes rejected her just now.   
  
It was funny how something as trivial as a little piece of paper could destroy a world so carefully crafted.   
Rinoa ran. But she didn't know where she was going. Her mind was a blank slate of nothingness. All she knew was that she had to get away from that place. From that woman. She was supposed to be her friend. All she saw right now were blurry mists of colors and corridors and students and hallways. And all she felt right now were stabs of pain and hurt and anger and treachery. She had never felt anything like this before. She had never ran away without direction. She didn't know if she was running from that place, or that woman, or from the pain she couldn't get away.   
It came as a surprise then when she found herself on the balcony of the Garden. The wind blew so softly here, and it just caressed her skin. Her cheeks grew cold where wind kissed tears. This was where she and Squall went after that battle with Ultimecia. She can still remember the happiness that night, as everyone celebrated the victory. The stars were so plentiful then, and the moon embraced the two of them in her silvery arms. And she held up a finger, as she saw a star fall across the universe. And Squall looked at her with one of his rare, genuine soft smiles. And he kissed her softly. Whoever said that wishing upon a star was just a fairy tale?   
Right now, though, her wish was different. She wished that all this was just a bad dream, a nightmare. Right from that moment when she cleaned up the room she had reserved for Quistis when she and Squall came back from their SeeD mission. Right from the moment when she noticed a crumpled piece of paper beside the trash can. And right from the moment when she smoothed it out out of curiosity, and read those words which started to stab millions of pinpricks of hurt and pain. Curiosity was a dangerous virtue. To Rinoa, curiosity just destroyed her world.   
How she fervently wished to wake up from this nightmare. How she hopelessly hoped that time was reversible, and that she never had to clean that room that fateful day. She could've asked their servants to do that for them, but she didn't. She wanted to personally clean the rooms of her friends. It gave her a joy, knowing they've taken shelter in her house, and enjoyed her company. She was in high spirits then, even humming a tune.   
_Darling..._   
She didn't know if she would still be able to call him that now. She closed her eyes, just wanting his image to go away. She wished that he was still the Squall she knew in her mind. But it was changed now. He was something else. She wished that she'd just wake up, and find him smiling at her and saying "Wake up, pretty sleepyhead" like he always did. She wished that he would be able to say anything else except...   
"Rinoa...I'm sorry..." a voice said from behind.   
_...so there you are..._   
She didn't want to turn around. She didn't want to see his face. She didn't want to get a glimpse of that wild dark-brown hair and eyes, and that scar. She didn't want to, but she did. And she turned around. And saw him standing there.   
_With that look on your face..._   
"How could you?" Rinoa asked, tearful eyes narrowing. It was barely a whisper, but he heard.   
"Rinoa, please let me explain," Squall said, taking a step forward. She tried to step back, but the railing prevented her.   
"No!" she cried angrily at him. "There is nothing to explain! You lied to me! You both lied to me! Damn you Squall, you betrayed me!"   
"I did not mean to!" Squall pleaded, his eyes giving off an uncharacteristic look.   
_As if you're never hurt..._   
"I never thought you'd do this," Rinoa said, again in that barely whispering tone. "I never thought you both are capable of this...both of you...in all my life, I never thought..."   
_As if you're never down..._   
"Please Rinoa," Squall said. His voice wavered. She had never heard his voice waver like that. Even when he was badly hurt back then during their battle with Ultimecia.   
No Rinoa, she thought to herself. You can never trust his tears now. You can never trust him again.   
Squall took another step forward, just wanting to at least hold her.   
_Shall I be the one for you...?_   
"No!" Rinoa cried again angrily at him. "I don't want to be touched by those hands! I thought those were just for me...I thought I was the only one for you. I thought you and I had something special going on..."   
Squall tried to say something, but Rinoa kept on.   
"You have no idea how much I loved you. You have no idea how much I would've given my all to you," Rinoa sobbed. "I would've given you everything...my body...my soul...my life, if you wished it...we could've been special together, Squall..."   
_Who pinches you softly but sure..._   
Every word she said was a blow delivering such pain that not even Griever itself could've done. He would've been willing to face a million Grievers instead of this one crying girl whom, until days ago, shined on him deeply like the sun.   
_If frown is shown then..._   
"But you broke my trust," Rinoa said, trying to compose herself. "And you broke my heart. And you broke my faith in you. Not again, Squall. I will never be drawn back to that dream again. That was what it always had been, wasn't it? Just a dream. And you knew it. But I woke up. And I see that you're not the person I fell in love with. That was just a dream."   
_I will know that you are no dreamer._   
Squall just looked at her, stunned. He just felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each screaming pain a million times more than anything he ever felt. He just looked at her with eyes shocked and near tears.   
Rinoa turned her back to him. "Go away, Squall. I don't want to see you again. Just leave....please..."   
She heard nothing for a few minutes. And then she heard him turn around, and softly listened as the footsteps faded away.   
She broke down again, hands buried in her face. She did love him. She loved him so much, that she wished she could kill him right now. It must have been minutes that she shed tears. The wind was not a comfort, nor were the twittering birds or the happy sun. All of them were just a mockery.   
Suddenly, he heard a clapping sound behind her, and then a familiar chuckle. "Well well, now that is something I don't see every day. I never thought you could be a great actress, Rinoa..."   
That voice. It was a voice so familiar to her. It was a voice she shared laughters with memories ago. And right now, it was the last voice she ever wanted to hear.   
"Go away Seifer. Damn you, but just go away."   
Seifer, however, was the kind of person who does exactly the opposite of what you want him to do, if it meant getting on your nerves. He seemed to have been an expert on that. If the Garden had a field test for annoying anyone, he would've been a SeeD a long time ago. And right now, he witnessed something he didn't see every day. Instead of going away, he leaned on the wall beside the door and crossed his arms, his face still wearing that smirk that made him infamous.   
"So, the betrayer herself has been betrayed. How does it feel now, Rinoa?" he asked, chuckling again. "It hurts, doesn't it? Hyne, I just sooo _love_ poetic justice."   
"Damn you Seifer!" Rinoa growled, still sobbing. Her eyes were burning with rage and pain. "What do you know about pain? You can't possibly know how it feels! You, who always thinks of yourself first before others! Go away before I slap that smirk off your face!"   
"Pain?!" Seifer growled back, turning angry. The annoying expression vanished just like that as something snapped inside him. Something which seemd to have been held back by him. He suddenly grabbed Rinoa's hands. The girl gasped and instinctively tried to take a step back, but was once again held back by the railing. "I have lived that kind of pain for the last one and a half years! You, of all the goddamned people, should know that Rinoa. You gave it to me!"   
Rinoa turned speechless. He possibly can't still be having that grudge from so long ago?   
Seifer's eyes burned with anger as he looked at her. And in those eyes, Rinoa saw something else. She saw pain. Pain that had been held back somewhere deep inside him.   
"Seifer..." she said, her voice suddenly turning serious. "I did not think you'd still be hurt by that...I did not mean...if...if I knew..."   
"If you knew you wouldn't have played me?!" he growled, his face becoming closer. "If you knew, then you wouldn't have wrenched out my heart? Why don't I believe you, Rinoa? I loved you! And what did you do?! You ran off with that stupid Daryll guy while I stood there like an idiot with a note in his hand! Why was that, Rinoa? Was it because his family was one of the richest in Deling? Was my heart worth nothing more than a piece of paper with the words 'I'm sorry, but I don't love you as much as I thought I did.'?"   
"No, you don't understand," Rinoa saidm shaking her head. "Seifer, please let me explain..."   
"Let me see, when have I heard that before," Seifer mocked. "Oh yeah. Leonheart said that minutes ago. What was your reply...?"   
Rinoa cried again closing her eyes and willing that mocking tone to go away. How could things turn out like this? The past was the past. And he should've left that behind him. It was nothing. What happened was nothing. She did not expect him to be hurt like that. She thought that he would understand. She thought that it was just a casual fling. She never betrayed him.   
Did she...?   
"I loved Daryll more!" she shouted at him then, almost choking in her tears. "I knew I should've told you sooner, but...I didn't know how! Seifer, I did love you...!"   
"'But not as much as you thought you did'," Seifer quoted again, letting go of her hand harshly. "You know how hard it was to open yourself up to someone, Rinoa? You know how hard it was to have your trust and love offered to someone?" Seifer said slowly. He seemed different now. He seemed to actually be making sense. "And here people thought I was a heartless bastard who just loves to pick on people just to see them react. You are more heartless than me. Only, you hide it behind that cute smile of yours, and that swish of your black hair. You remember that? That was how you got me."   
She did remember. A party in Deling. He was there, in his cadet uniform. She was there with her father. She did smile at him flirtingly, and she did swish her hair.   
"After what happened, I swore I would never let anyone take advantage of me again," Seifer said. "It was never Quistis' fault that I became like this. That was what she thought. But it's not it. You want to know the truth, Rinoa? Everytime I see that pretty face of hers, I was reminded of how I was entranced by you. And everytime I defied her, I was defying you. For what you did to me."   
She couldn't believe she was hearing this. Was she really a betrayer?   
"But you taught me a valuable lesson," Seifer continued. "People are always wanting to screw with your life. It's just up to you to let them do it. Guess what? I won't let anyone screw me again, like you did me."   
"I never meant it like that," Rinoa sobbed.   
"In a way, I could almost thank Leonheart for what he did, whatever it is he did," Seifer said, starting to turn away. "At least now you got a dose of your own medicine. I wish I could ask you to sleep well, Rinoa. But I know that you won't. Not for a long time. I should know. I've been there."   
"Seifer..." Rinoa whispered softly, as the blond-haired man started walking. Maybe she wanted him to hear her. Maybe she didn't want him to go, after all. She just realized that both of them had been betrayed. The only difference was that, she was the cause of the other's hurt.   
Seifer did stop. Rinoa looked expectantly at his back. Expecting him to turn around, and even maybe give her a comforting word. He just looked sideways, however, giving her a sideward glance. And he spoke. She didn't know if what he said then were comforting or not. But they did tug at her heart.   
"You know why I became the Sorceress' Knight, Rinoa?" He spoke softly, very uncharacteristic of the man who was mostly disliked by almost everyone in Balamb Garden. Very uncharacteristic of the person who always defied authority and who was always annoying his peers and superiors. Right now, his voice was soft. And it made it even more hurting. "Because I wanted to prove to you and to everyone else that I can be one. That I can be the sword that defends a woman. I think...she did love me then. I think she needed me. And when I found out that you're the next Sorceress...I...I just can't let Leonheart be your Knight. I fought for what I thought was right. I fought, following my heart. But everyone did not see that."   
With that, Seifer finally walked away.   
She watched Seifer until he disappeared just beyond the corridor. And then, she felt her knees getting weak, and she had to slump down, still crying. Things were getting more and more complicated. She huddled there on the floor, leaning against the railing, crying her heart out. She wished that all of this was just a nightmare. She wished that she'd wake up and find everything is as it should be.   
She made so many wishes, but there was no star.   
  



	4. IV

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**R**inoa didn't know it, but Seifer never really left. The moment he turned beyond the corridor, his steps started to falter, until he stopped walking. His gaze was cast down, deep in sadness and thought. It was a strange sight for the cadets that passed by him, but they did not have the nerve to ask him what the matter was. They knew Seifer by sight and reputation, and the freshmen were warned in advance. Seifer was just trouble starting to ignite everytime. Steer clear off him.   
Which was exactly just what Seifer wanted right now. To be alone. He cannot really be sure what he would do to anyone who would dare try and disturb his musings at this state of mind. The other people, seeing the expression on his face, hastily went away.   
He looked back to the corridor bend which led towards the Garden balcony where Rinoa still was. Still crying, no doubt. He looked at it for the longest time, as if seeing the memories on that bend. And slowly, he turned around, and started to walk towards it. He never went beyond the corner, however. He just stood around the bend, and leaned on it.   
There they were, both unseen. One feeling the other, while the other, feeling the past and the pain. As Seifer expected, Rinoa was still sitting on the floor, leaning against the railing, hugging herself with her arms as if she was the only person in the whole world willing to embrace her right now. Seifer, eyes strangely sad, took a peek, his forehead leaning on his right hand which he placed tiredly on the wall.   
_Rinoa, heaven only knows just how much I would've wanted to embrace you and comfort you right now..._   
Abruptly, Seifer frowned then, driving away that thought as he leaned back heavily on the wall. He tried driving away the soft sounds of sobbing and rasping breath on the balcony a few steps ahead. He tried not listening to it, but he couldn't. He knew the feeling. He felt it before.   
By rights, he should've been seething with anger at her, not feeling an empathy like this. He should be laughing and glowering in victory at her, chuckling at her misfortune like he always did to others. He should feel glad at what happened, and he would be justified in doing so. But somehow, he didn't.   
_Damn it, you big lug_, he said to himself. _You've been waiting for a long time for something like this to happen! Be glad damn you!_   
Somehow, he didn't. He had been waiting a long time. A long time...   
  
They weren't supposed to be in that party. Him, and two other SeeD cadets. They snuck out of Balamb Garden and went to Deling, the greatest city this side of the world. Back then, he had always been the one to drag his other friends in light-hearted fun. Back then when he still had friends. Far from being serious in all his works and lessons, he was the one who always thought that work was equated to fun. But he was never the problem-head then as he was now. He was just an easy-go-lucky fellow. No hint of seriousness in his face then.   
That was back then.   
It was there in that party in Deling when he first laid eyes on her. A beautiful lass of silky-black hair and sweet, liquid eyes. With a smile that sent him staring (and the wine-glass that he held shaking). She appeared bored, and she was with her father. And when she saw him--a person of her age in this party of older men and women--she smiled that wonderfully cute and flirty smile of hers, and swished her black hair.   
If that wasn't an invitation for acquaintance, then Seifer was a dumb idiot. Which, of course, he was not.   
He left his two other companions aside and started walking towards her, that characteristic smirk on his face showing. A smirk of mischievosuness and flirtiousness. He smoothed back his short golden hair, intent on impressing the hell out of this young goddess who just stepped into his view.   
When they were face to face, Seifer started to turn on his inherent charm. He was never one to be shy with anyone. Especially to a young woman who was obviously as interested with him as he was with her.   
"Now, what is a young place like you doing in a girl like this?" he said, without thinking. Somehow, he knew it came out wrong.   
She placed a hand over her mouth then, trying her best not to let out a laugh. She giggled.   
_Drat_, he thought. It _did_ come out wrong! Well, so much for first impressions.   
"Uhm...I-I'm Seifer, by the way. Seifer Almasy," he introduced, offering his hand.   
"Rinoa," she smiled, taking his hand. "Rinoa Caraway."   
"Caraway?" he echoed. "How...how are you related to General Caraway?"   
Rinoa snickered cutely. "I'm his daughter."   
Seifer let out an expression of "Oh, I see..."   
"Let's get out of here," Rinoa whispered, leaning to him conspiratorically. "I think we're about an endangered specie in this room full of ancients."   
Seifer chuckled and nodded back in the same manner. "I agree. How about a walk in the park?"   
That walk ended in a kiss.   
Eversince then, he couldn't keep his mind off her. The morning after found them in Cid's office, lectured for what they did. His two companions were trembling under the headmaster's assault. Except him. His mind was miles away the whole time. In a large house in Deling. Lost in that kiss that made his heart stop for a second. Under the ebony sky.   
They were suspended for a week after that. Grounded to stay in their dormitory. But somehow, he couldn't find himself to be away from her. Everywhere he looked, there she was. Time and again, he snuck out of the Garden to catch the next train to Deling. Maybe those secret outings while he was suspended contributed greatly to the Stealth aspect of his SeeD training.   
For six months, they have been writing each other constantly. Six days, he was training in the Garden. On the seventh, when everyone else was resting, he was out catching the next trip to the great Galbadian capital. He never thought he would fall in love this deep for someone.   
And then it happened. At first, he didn't notice the subtle changes. How her letters had become less and less frequent. How his calls had often been greeted with "Hi! This is Rinoa Caraway. I'm sorry, but we're not here right now...". He left messages, but they often came unanswered. The very few times they did manage to talk, he asked her if she was alright. Or if there was something wrong he did. And often, she would say the same thing: "I'm fine. No, you're great." And all too often, he couldn't help but feel the emptiness of those words. Their talks ended in less than ten minutes. The same excuse came out of her mouth. That she was tired, and that she needed to rest. No matter the fact that it was still eight in the morning.   
He didn't want to believe the inevitable. He held on to the belief that Rinoa loved him still. That she was, in fact, just tired. Surely her being a daughter of the famed general would entail late night meetings and parties. The thought occurred to him that, maybe, she found someone else on one of those parties. But he immediately drove those away. She said so herself. She was bored with parties. With the ancients, as she called them.   
It came as a shock then when, one day while he was on his way to her house intending to surprise her, a car stopped in front of their gate and they stepped out. She, and a man in his early twenties. She was smiling brightly at him. His heart went up to his throat when they held hands. And when he kissed her, well, he just dropped the bouquet of red roses he bought for her.   
He walked away that night. His world was shattered by just an act of a kiss. It began with a kiss, and it ended with a kiss. Only, it was given to her by someone else. Three days after, he got a letter with the scent of carnation. It was not signed by anyone. But when he opened it, the scent meant nothing. As he read the words, his eyes started shedding tears for the last time. There it was. The end of Seifer Almasy, the carefree guy. Written in flowing script.   
_I'm sorry, but I didn't love you as much as I thought I did...._   
  
That letter she sent him a long time ago, placed on a scented envelope which vaguely smelled of carnation, was still in his keeping, crumpled and creased from numerous reading and re-readings. It had been his way of hardening his heart and, in effect, molding himself into the bastard that he was right now. It had become his belief that to survive, he had to be hard. He had to show to everyone that he was not someone they can just trifle with. He figured that if he'll hide behind a wall of defiance and arrogance and raw strength, no one would dare hurt him again. Pain goes to something more than the physical. He had hidden all his pain in a mask of arrogance and defiance. It was not something he liked, but he needed it to survive. Showing a touch of softness and vulnerability was dangerous. People would exploit it and you'd be left with nothing but hurt.   
Which was why he can't afford for Rinoa to see him right now. How he hurt deeply inside. He had seen the events which transpired earlier between Squall and Rinoa with much glee, intending to mock her and drive the pain deeper into her for what she had done to him a long time ago. But instead, he saw his pain he thought he had buried together with the old Seifer reflected on her eyes. He was not prepared for that. He was not expecting that. And it was all he could do not to turn around and run away crying. The old Seifer wasn't dead, after all. He had always been there, sleeping. And it took the crying eyes of the person he once loved to wake him up.   
He didn't want her to see him crying. Because then, she would know that he sympathized with her. And be it against his will, he didn't want her to know that.   
"Seifer..." he heard Rinoa say softly.   
For a minute, he thought she knew he was still there, feeling her. He immediately jerked his head sidewards, only to see empty air and the corridor wall across. He stood up (not even remembering when he had crouched), and tried to lean closer to the corridor corner without being seen by her.   
"I didn't know it hurt you that much..." she continued. She thought she was speaking to empty air. She didn't know the air had ears this time.   
_You never cared, did you? It was all because of...._   
"Daryll," she continued. "Daryll was a sophisticated man, who knew what he wanted...and I...I was drawn to him because of that..."   
_He was rich, I was not. Say that, damn you! So that I can hate you. Finally..._   
"It's not because of the money," she said, in between sobs. "He was a man who I thought would take care of me...who could love me like my mother did father..."   
_I loved you...I would've taken care of you..._   
"...but he never did...oh, Seifer," Rinoa whispered. "Daryll left me for an older woman...you didn't know that, because you're already back here...I was living in a fantasy world...he was deeply rooted in reality."   
Seifer's eyes narrowed a bit at that. She was right, he didn't know that.   
"I never loved anyone else after that," Rinoa said. Her voice quivered. Apparently, she still felt the repercussions of that incident.   
_What are we?_ Seifer thought. _A bunch of repressed memories? Flesh of buried pain? Are we people feeding on the remnants of something in the past? Why do we keep the pain alive, if we want them forgotten?_   
"I never loved anyone...until Squall." It was then that Rinoa broke down, sobbing profusely at the mention of that name. "Hyne, but I love him! Oh Squall...why did you have to do this...? Why...? I loved you! I swallowed my pain because of you...Why this? And...why with Quistis...?"   
Seifer looked down, listening to the sound of tears falling and heart breaking. The anger he felt for her slowly disappeared, washed by each tear she felt for Squall. The shell of indifference built through all those times of resentment brought on by this one woman who so carelessly touched his heart back when he was still a _human_ person who felt laughter slowly broke down as each sob came out of her mouth.   
Seifer Almasy was a man who often had trouble as his twin and delighted on it. He was a man who defied authority because he believed that if he committed himself under someone's rule, he would lose himself. He was a man whose arrogance was renowned throughout the whole of Balamb Garden. He was a man who did not care about anyone else but himself.   
But for now, that Seifer Almasy was put aside. Right now, he just realized something, and it took tears and memories from the past to make him see.   
That he can still go back to being that person before he became a problem. That he can still feel. That he still loved Rinoa.   
And with his face set in grim determination, Seifer Almasy started walking away. People had often branded him as one of the best fighters B-Garden has produced. And right now, he was set on showing just how true that reputation was to someone.   
He was a Sorceress' Knight, after all.   
  



	5. V

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**"F**inally! I have you! You are now in my grasp! I shall relish this moment! Mwahahaha!"   
The voice was thick with that of someone who had long waited for this for a long time. The feeling of excitement was evident. The time was at hand. Reckoning will be realized. He knew that sooner or later, time will relent. That if he waited long enough, he will be victorious in the end. Patience was a virtue. And he had long been patient.   
Zell, of course, realized that the hotdog he was holding in his hand right now was worth the long wait. He fused all his attention to the juicy, red, foot-long meat lodged between two hot, slightly crusty buns. It was topped with mayonnaise, and the insides were laiden with BA cheese (produced exclusively by Bright Angel Dairy Products, the best cheese manufacturer this side of the world). This time, Zell made sure that he won't be left behind. The moment the bell rang for the end of his third period training exercise, he was the first out the door. He even passed by his sweetheart Iris with just a quick kiss and a "Hello!". He knew Iris would understand. This was the Garden famous Big B hotdog they were talking about. Only a few were as sacred.   
And now, he was finally holding it! The prize he had long sought for. He held it up a bit, as if it was a trophy and put it under his nose to smell it. He closed his eyes as the aroma of freshly soft-fried meat mixed with cheese and mayonnaise tickled his olfactory senses. He was planning to relish this for as long as he could hold back.   
Finally, he couldn't resist it anymore. Wetting his lips for a bit, he finally opened his mouth and started to begin the long-awaited sacred ritual of eating a freshly-made Big B super-deluxe Balamb hotdog.   
It was then that he felt a strong hand grip the back collar of his black leather jacket, followed by a familiar harsh voice. "Chicken-wuss."   
Zell managed to let out a "Shi-oot!" before Seifer slammed him on the marble hallway wall. Taking hold of his collar, Seifer managed to raise him a few feet off the ground.   
"Where's Leonheart?" Seifer asked. His eyes were anything but friendly. In fact, Zell thought that if there was anything that it could be likened to, it was that of a berserked Wendigo. Only of course, Seifer managed to hide the full fury under a mask of cold expression.   
"Dammit Seifer!" Zell growled, inspite of the deathly dangerous glow smoldering in the blond-haired former Sorceress' Knight's eyes. "I was trying to eat my hotdog!"   
Without warning, Seifer took the hotdog from Zell's hand and threw it down the floor, his piercing, angry look never leaving Zell's face. Zell's eyes widened. "What the frickin'--!"   
"I have no time to play with you, Chicken-wuss," Seifer said, his voice still in that low and deadly-serious tone. The scar on his face seemed to be getting angrier, as well. No doubt from his frown. "At another time, I would've loved to pound your face with your hotdog, but not now. Now, where the fuck is Leonheart?!"   
"Dammit, how the frickin' Hades should I know?!" Zell shot back. In all truth, he was a bit afraid now. He had never seen Seifer like this before. True, he was always an asshole, but right now, he seemed to be like an asshole who was ready to commit homicide. If there was one thing more dangerous than an asshole, it was a killer asshole.   
"I don't think Iris would want that other side of your lip busted," Seifer threatened levelly, noticing the now-healing wound that Zell got from Squall yesterday. "Nor I think would she like to see both your eyes get blackened and blued." With that warning, Seifer held his gloved left hand between them and clenched it into a ball. Fingers cracked satisfyingly.   
Zell gulped. "D-damn...w-what's up with you gunbladers lately, anyway? S-squall's in the Quad, I think. I saw him enter there an hour or so ago."   
With that, Seifer threw Zell down, and turned towards the Quad, not even bothering to look back. His white trenchcoat flowed around him. Zell, angry and embarrassed at the same time, stood up and defiantly gave Seifer the universal "up-yours" signal. Seifer seemed to have forgotten about him, however, which infuriated the young martial artist more.   
"Damn you Seifer!" he shouted, as students and senior people looked at him as they walked past. "You owe me a hotdog, y'hear?! You owe me a friggin' hotdog!"   
  
Quistis was glad that Xu was not there in their room when she got in. After what happened with Rinoa, she immediately ran outside from her classroom, ignoring the concerned look and attempts of consolation by her students. She would have thought that her tears had all been used up days before. She would've thought that after telling Squall that she wanted to be away from him for a while, things would at least take a semblance of normalcy and that, maybe, she would forget about what happened to them after a long while. She wanted to bury herself in her work. She wanted to be kept busy. Anything, just as long as she didn't have to think about Squall. There was only that problem with Rinoa left. She couldn't brush that away from her mind. It was some sort of honor between two women. She knew that she would have to confess it to Rinoa sooner or later. She cannot carry that guilt with her for long. She would've wanted to tell it to the young sorceress the soonest time she can.   
Unfortunately, it seemed that she did not have to worry about that, after all. The woman she had shared so many adventures with, the woman who had been her friend and close ally, the woman they had saved from Adel, that woman had just given her a slap on her face and some parting words she won't forget for the longest time even if she'll try very hard to. It was different, she thought. A punch from a Wendigo or a tail-smash from a T-Rexaur was something she can accept with pride. At least those were battle strikes incurred in a field of bravery. But a slap across the face by a woman who used to be your close friend in an airy classroom was vastly different. It was more painful. To a woman, it was not purely physical. There was a touch of something deeper involved, as if your pride had been stripped off you. It was a woman thing. It hurt even more than any strike from a battle can. That had been two hours ago. And it had been exactly an hour and a half ago when the last student left from outside her door. They had followed their beloved instructor even as she ran crying from their classroom to her dormitory room. And they had huddled there, outside her room, asking her if there was something they could do for her. Asking her if she needed any consolation. One male student even offered to stay with her for the night and try to make her feel better.   
Of course, she had to drive them away. And even though she did not want to sound harsh, she couldn't help but to shout at them to just leave her the hell alone. It was followed by more sniffing and sobbing. Finally sounds of shuffling feet echoed from outside as her students left her, one by one. She mumbled a soft apology to them that went unheard.   
Now, she was finished with what she had been doing. Smoothing her Garden uniform, she looked at herself in the mirror and tried to wipe away her tears. She had to look natural. She had to look as if nothing had happened. The angry red mark Rinoa's hand left on her cheek had somewhat lessened now, but it was still there. The paleness of her baby-soft skin did not help matters any. Well, there was nothing she could do about that. Absolutely nothing. She had to wear it like a badge. Looking at it now, she couldn't help but change that thought. It was not a badge. It was a mark. Of her treachery that destroyed three relationships: Rinoa and Squall's, her and Rinoa's, and her and Squall's. She lightly touched that mark softly, as if feeling Rinoa's hand. If only she could be forgiven.   
Afraid that her eyes might water again, Quistis turned around and looked at the two letters she left there. She was sure that Xu couldn't miss the one that was intended for her. She had written that carefully, steadying her handwriting. Xu was a good one for graphology. She would instantly know something was wrong based by her loops and flourishes. Not that one would need to be an expert in handwriting to know just how much of a wreck she was right now. That was why she had to control her hand. At least, she had to have a semblance of control in one aspect of her life now.   
The other letter she picked up even as she cautiously opened the door and looked out to see if there were students of hers left still. Not finding a soul, she let out a sigh of small relief and got out of her room. She knew that her decision would surprise the headmaster. Even shock him. But she did not care. She had to do what she must.   
It was the only decent thing she can do.   
  
Squall was leaning on the railing on the Quad which overlooked the beautiful green countryside of Balamb. About a year or so ago, this very place had been the battleground of Balamb and Galbadian SeeDs and cadets; two Gardens which were supposed to be on the same side, but manipulated to battle against themselves through the machinations of a Sorceress who wanted nothing less than the compression of past, present, and future. He had valiantly fought alongside his comrades then, and led Balamb with a leadership he never knew existed inside him.   
Now, it was a silent battleground again. But instead of warring cadets and students, it was of warring thoughts and emotions and feelings. And not even his newfound inherent leadership skills could ever make things alright again. Ever.   
For the life of him, he couldn't think how Rinoa could've known. She was perceptive, yes, but he doubted if she could've guessed what happened from that night they spent on her mansion after their mission. He was pretty sure that Rinoa had no idea then. After Quistis excused herself that night on the pretense of weariness and exhaustion, he and Rinoa spent two more hours sitting there on that couch, just talking about things that had happened while they had been apart for the past month. At least, she had talked. He was merely more or less acknowledging her queries and putting in a few comments here and there. When she tried to cuddle closer to him more, it was all he could do not to push her away. He felt massively guilty holding her like that. He had been tainted, and he didn't want Rinoa to share that taint. It was almost as if he was afraid that Rinoa would find out what happened just by touching him for a prolonged period of time. There was the guarded fear then. Had she sensed that?   
And he didn't want to leave Quistis like that a few hours ago. Hyne knows he just wanted to cross that short distance in the classroom and then embrace her in his arms, and give her comfort. Much as how much she said she wanted the two of them to be apart from each other for a while, she sensed the pleading in her eyes then. She sensed the longing of his comfort. For him to just hold her in his arms and give her a kiss on the forehead and just assure her that everything was going to be alright. He wanted to, as much as she did.   
But he can't.   
Doing so would only strengthen the suspicions that her students must have already had from the incident. Everybody in the Garden knew that he and Rinoa are--a voice inside him corrected him _were_--an item. And not a few also hinted and teased him to Quistis. If there was one thing he could not stand from this newfound state of "fame" he and his friends had, it was the fact that nothing was secret anymore. Almost everyone knew of things and rumours before even himself. There was even that stupid rumour linking him and Selphie, or that one about him and Seifer being long-lost brothers. He knew that it would be a matter of time before someone would piece recent events together, and then more or less find out the truth, or part of it. It wouldn't help any if he'd have embraced Quistis like that in front of her students.   
Besides, it was Rinoa whom he was more concerned of at that moment. He had never seen Rinoa get angry to the point of actually laying a hand on someone. Of course, given the facts of the situation, she would've gone ballistic. And she did. He had to explain her side to him before it festered. And even if it meant leaving Quistis like that, he had to do it, much as he hated to. Decisions, decisions. Nothing in the whole Sorceress war was tougher than this. Absolutely nothing. He was a neophyte in the battleground of emotions.   
He didn't know whom to apologize anymore. Or how much he was supposed to.   
"Leonheart!"   
The voice was rough and dripping with seething anger. His jaws tightened, even as his fist clenched. Great. Just what he needed. His scarring partner to make things worse.   
"Look Seifer--" he started to speak, as he turned around.   
What greeted him, however was a gloved right that gave him a straight punch on the jaw that almost sent him on the Quad floor. Reflex kicking in, he caught himself before he fell down, wiping a gloved hand on the left side of his lip. He tasted the coppery taste of blood.   
He saw the white clad Seifer standing before him, his eyes murderous with rage. The scar he had given him more than a year ago made him look even more dangerous. On his left hand, he wielded his Hyperion, its metal gleaming as angry as its owner.   
The numerous students who were in the Quad that time milled around just like ants on a sweet candy. This was too good to pass up. Seifer and Squall, actually fighting in front of them? Fighting within Garden was, although prohibited, relatively common. There were freshmen who asked who they were, and what the hub-bub was all about. Those who did were greeted with mocking and surprised looks, and it was all it took for the freshmen to gasp "Ooooh!"s and "Aaah!"s.   
Seifer turned around and looked at the students milling around them. With a growl that would give a Grendel pause, Seifer addressed them all. "What the fuck are you all looking at?! Get back to what you've been doing!"   
They hastily yelped and cleared.   
Seifer turned back to Squall, and saw the young SeeD commander totter up, shaking his head from the punch.   
"That's it, Seifer!" Squall growled. "You picked the wrong time to fuck with me!"   
Instead, Seifer brough up Hyperion and pointed it straight on Squall's face. The shiny point was inches from his scar. Squall looked at the point for a bit, before turning to look at its owner's eyes. The air was thick with tension. The students who still wanted to see this rare event (behind the Quad potted plants) held their breaths.   
"This time, I'm going to make you pay, Leonheart," Seifer said in a low voice. "For what you did to Rinoa."   
"Rinoa?!" Squall hissed as he started to step forward to him. The Hyperion never wavered, however, and Squall tried to restrain himself.   
"Devil's Seat, in half an hour," Seifer said. "Just you and me. No holds barred."   
Squall remained silent, his eyes narrowing with anger. This had something to do with _Rinoa_?!   
"I hope you're getting along well with your ancestors, Leonheart," Seifer said. "You'll be meeting them soon."   
With that, Seifer turned around and walked away.   
  
"Argh!" Zell said again, for the umpteenth time as he kicked the lone chair in their table. Some of the students who were sitting near their table looked at him again, others swallowing hard while others tried to ignore the outburst.   
"Zell Dincht!" Teresa, the Garden cafeteria in-charge, finally walked out of the counter with her hands on her hips, looking disapprovingly at the martial artist. "One more outburst like that and I'm going to make sure you won't be having any hotdog for a year even if there are still any left."   
Zell looked down, and mumbled an apology.   
"What could Seifer be wanting with Squall, anyway?" Selphie asked, slurping her mango shake.   
"How the hell should I know?!" Zell replied heatedly. "All I know is that I've been waiting for a long time for that friggin' hotdog and he snatched it out of my hand and threw it down! Dammit. Squall owes me big time. Him and Seifer. And if Seifer will be an ass about it, I'll take it from Squall."   
Selphie chuckled.   
"What the hell are you chuckling about?!" Zell asked, getting seriously miffed now.   
"Nothing, nothing!" Selphie said, grinning cheekily. Then, her face grew serious. "By the way. I heard Rinoa is in here right now."   
At that, Irvine, who had been mostly silent the whole time, perked up his ears. "She is?!"   
"Yeah," Selphie said. "And get this: rumour has it that she made quite a scene in Quisty's class! I don't know how true this rumour is. I only heard it about an hour or so ago while on my way here."   
"That's ridiculous," Zell remarked. "These rumour-mongers should pick another group of people to gossip about, instead of just us. I mean I know its flattering when people talk about you, but sometimes, it just gets a bit too much, you know? What next? Squall and Quistis having a relationship?" At this, he and Selphie laughed.   
Irvine could only shut up. _Hoo boy_, he thought. _If you guys only knew_.   
He hated keeping secrets from Zell and Selphie. Hyne only knows how much he trusted the two. Especially Selphie. But he vowed to Squall that no one aside from him would know about what happened. He trusted him, and Irvine wasn't about to violate that trust. Too many trusts had been violated enough for the past few days already.   
However, this rumour that Selphie said was making him nervous. If there was even a grain of truth in it, then all shit would hit the fan. And heaven help Squall clean up the mess.   
"Hey, Irvy," Selphie said, interrupting his thoughts. "You've been suspiciously silent since yesterday. Is something wrong?"   
Irvine hastily wiped away the serious look on his face. "H-huh? Of course not, darling. You know me. Sometimes, my mind flits on something."   
"Something?" Zell teased. "Or someone?"   
At this, Selphie's eyes narrowed at the young cowboy. "Irvieeee?"   
"Awww, c'mon Sef," he said, trying to put on his most charming smile. "You know I breath and live only for you!"   
"Hmp!" Selphie said, turning on a cute pout. "You better be. Or else you'll be aiming through black eyes."   
Irvine was about to lean forward and give his girlfriend a kiss on the lips to wipe away that pout when suddenly, Iris appeared on the cafeteria entrance. She looked hastily around. Her hands kept fidgeting on her handkerchief. Finally, she spotted them and, eyes wide with relief, she ran towards their table.   
Zell saw her and he got up intending to give his sweetheart a hug and a kiss. He pursed his lips, waiting for Iris' lips to touch it. Instead, Iris just put a soft hand on his cheek and immediately addressed them, not even bothering to sit down.   
"What's the matter, Iris?" Irvine asked. "You looked as if the sky just fell."   
Iris hastily shook her head, and tried to clam down.   
"Here," Selphie said, passing her a cherry-cola soda. Iris gratefully drank it and let out a breath.   
"H-have you guys heard the news?" she asked excitedly.   
Zell, pouting a bit, sat back on his chair.   
"Uhm...what news...?" Irvine asked.   
"I-it's Quistis," she said. She was stammering, as if she herself didn't believe what she was about to say. "S-She quit. As SeeD and Garden Instructor!"   
A chorus of "WHAAAAT?!" echoed around the table, and the nearby tables as well. Everyone was looking at Iris now.   
"W-what do you mean 'She quit'?!" Irvine asked, aghast. He found himself standing up, hands on the table slightly shaking. "She can't quit!"   
"Well, she just did," Iris said. "Xu is in Headmaster Cid's room right now, talking about it! There are a lot of students outside his room, trying to figure out just what the hell is going on. Apparently, Rinoa also stormed into Quistis' classroom some hours ago and slapped her!"   
"Y'mean, it wasn't a rumour?!" Zell asked, evidently shocked at the news.   
Iris could only nod.   
"W-wait," Selphie said, trying to sort things out. This can't be happening. "We have got to stop Quisty! This is insane! What the hell's happening?! We have to go ask her."   
"It's too late for that," Iris said. "She's already gone."   
"Shit!" Selphie cursed. Irvine and Zell looked at her, surprised at what she just uttered. Selphie reddened. "W-what about Squall?! He must know! How about we go ask him?!"   
Iris shook her head again. "He's gone, too."   
  
It seemed that heaven is not without a flair for the dramatic.   
The sky seemed to be cast with dark clouds, hinting an impending heavy rain. So much for the forecast of a bright and sunny week in the Balamb region. Far in the distant horizon, he could see flashes of lightning followed by soft rumbles of thunder. He changed his thought. It wasn't going to be a heavy rain. It was going to be a storm.   
Lion Heart in hand, Squall walked across the grassy plains of Balamb to Devil's Seat to meet Seifer's challenge. He didn't have the vaguest idea what that damn Seifer got himself into, but he knew that he'll make sure he'll be sorry he butted his nose into every other else's business.   
He said it was something about what he did Rinoa. Did Rinoa ran to him after their talk in the balcony, and told him everything that had happened? He wouldn't believe Rinoa would do that. And to Seifer, to boot! He knew that something happened between Seifer and Rinoa in the past. Whatever it was, he never asked her. He figured that some pasts were better left buried. It did not occur to him that some pasts go out of their grave of their own volition and haunt people, as well. He only knew that it was preposterous for Rinoa to seek comfort in Seifer. Seifer was about the last person anyone would turn to for peace and sanctuary. He was an unstable person. A perpetual time bomb just waiting to explode.   
When he left Balamb Garden half an hour ago, there was a certain excitement in tha air. Students seemed to be whispering something to each other, but he did not have the time nor the compulsion to find out what it was. He had enough in his mind already. One student saw him and tried to talk to him, but a stare on his direction made the student hesitate, and finally turn back and walk away. Just as well. He might've looked like Seifer then, but he did not care.   
The sooner he put Seifer in his place, the sooner he can get this over with, and the sooner he can think about what to do with this mess he was in.   
  
Devil's Seat was a rocky hill with a flat top just beside the Fire Cavern. Usually, this was a spot where lovers and loners would spend their time, just watching the sun set, or the sun rise for those foolish enough to wake early.   
Looking at it now from the distance, however, it was deserted. Owing probably to the bad weather that the sky was signaling. Well, it was _almost_ deserted. As he closed the distance, Squall could see the distinct outline of a tall man in a white trenchcoat, standing there proudly, his hands resting on the handle of his gunblade which he had stuck on the ground.   
Looking at him now, Squall could remember the first time he and Seifer fought one on one. That last time, Seifer had given him a scar. And, in turn, Squall disfigured that handsome face of his with a slash of his gunblade as well.   
Now, he wondered if one of them would be lucky enough to get out with just a scar.   
  



	6. VI

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**C**id's head was spinning.   
Two hours ago, he had been sitting here in his office peacefully trying to make sense of all the legal paper and documents as well as the various missions which entailed the job of being the headmaster of Balamb Garden. It was a relatively boring job, he had to admit, but someone had to do it. And since he was basically the master gardener, so to speak, of this whole SeeD affair, there was no one more competent than him. Not that he was complaining. He actually found the job quite relaxing and peaceful. Others might call him too mundane, but he preferred routine in his daily activities. At least then, he'd know what to expect everyday. That was what he personally liked about this job--predictable and peaceful.   
Until Quistis strode into his office and gave him a letter and said "I quit," that is. He was as prepared with that happening almost as much as he was prepared with Galbadia Garden attacking Balamb Garden right now. For a whole minute, he thought he was hearing things wrong. Quistis Trepe, resigning? Quistis Trepe, whose excellent and untarnished reputation was known around the whole of Garden? She, who had legions of followers who call themselves Trepies from the freshest of freshmen to the hardiest of seniors?   
Quitting?   
When she repeated it, he thought she was just kidding. The expression on her face, however, told him that she was not. She was, indeed, quitting from being a SeeD. She handed her resignation letter, and he looked at it for a while, as if expecting it to bite him. Swallowing hard and utterly confused, he opened the envelope and read it. It was perfectly worded, as usual. He immediately skimmed to the reason of her decision. It only contained two words: Emotional Duress.   
When he asked her just what the hell that meant, she merely bit her lower lip, and then asked again that her request be granted the soonest time possible. He thought he sensed a slight trembling in that voice. When he tried to look at her face closer to somehow divine from it the deeper reason, he noticed that her left cheek seemed to be slightly redder than the right. He opened his mouth, meaning to ask her about that, as well. Courtesy, however, prevented him from doing so. He saw some sort of trouble in her face, and although it was his job to look after the welfare of his employees, he somehow sensed that however hard he might prod the young Instructor, she still won't relent.   
Quistis was one of his best Instructors, and one of the most respected. She was also one of the heroes during the Sorceress war, and she had encountered situations that would chill even the roughest of cadets. She had suffered time compression, and had come back from it alive. Whatever the problem was, it could not be physical. Could it be because of the last mission? He can't hardly believe so. It went without a hitch! He tried to coax Quistis into talking to him. He tried to show her that what she was doing was something that might destroy the years of hardship she had to endure to become a SeeD. He tried to convince her to think things over, before hastily giving him a letter asking him to let her go. It was not easy being a SeeD, and promoted into an Instructor status. It was not especially easy to just leave everything behind. This, and some more he tried to show her; reason with her. But she was resolute. She wanted to quit. And in the end, he had to grant her wish. Now, thinking about everything, he wondered if he made the right decision?   
"--last thing I expected her to do! I mean, she--...Headmaster? Are you listening?"   
Cid looked up, peering through his eyeglasses at Xu who had been pacing in front of his desk as if staying still would mean the end of her. She was still holding the letter Quistis left her. And her face was anything but calm.   
"Yes Instructor," Cid sighed, hands covering his face tiredly. "I'm listening. I just want to know why! I mean you are her closest friend. Surely you have noticed anything which would cause her to just...quit like that?"   
"I told you, headmaster," Xu sighed, massaging her temple with her hands. "I am quite positive that this has to do with Commander Leonheart. Yesterday, she was _crying_ about him. And you know Quistis wasn't the type to cry over a man!"   
"I'm afraid that emotional problems aren't exact--" Cid started. He never got to finish it, however, as there was a loud knock on the door.   
"Headmaster! Open up! Please! We need to talk to you!"   
"Damn nosey students!" Cid said, not paying enough attention.   
"No, I think I recognize that voice," Xu said. "Oh, yeah! It's Irvine Kinneas, the SeeD from Galbadia Garden."   
"Oh Hyne," Cid said, letting out a breath. "What the hell does he want?"   
"Headmaster! Yoo-hoo?! Open up!" It's a new voice now. And more incessant knocks followed.   
"Now its Dincht," Xu said. "Shall we let them in, Headmaster? They are among Quistis' closest friends, after all."   
"Might as well," Cid said. "Maybe they can help us puzzle this out." He pushed a button beneath his desk, and the door unlocked with a "CLICK!" "Come in!"   
Irvine's face appeared, and he started to walk in, followed closely by Selphie, Zell, and Iris. All wore the faces of people who had heard news they couldn't, or wouldn't, believe.   
"Headmaster!" Irvine said, not caring to take off his hat. "Is it true what we heard?! Has Quistis really quit?"   
"Yes," Cid replied.   
"B-but why?!" Selphie asked, her face getting sadder and more confused by the minute.   
"It doesn't make sense! Not at all!"   
"Oh great," Xu said. "Does this mean you haven't the slightest idea as well?"   
"Look," Zell replied, a bit of sarcasm in his voice. "Would we have come here right now if we did?"   
"People, please!" Cid said, trying to calm everyone down. Nothing good would come out of things if they'll start trading repartees and sarcasms now. "We are gathered here for the same reason: to find out just what the hell's been going on lately. Can we please try to not get into each other's nerves?"   
Zell leaned on the wall, his lips put up in a sulk. Irvine shook his head and walked up to Cid's table, placing his hands squarely on the top.   
"Headmaster, what did Quistis say?"   
"Emotional duress," Cid replied, leaning back on his swivel chair. "And don't ask me what the hell she meant by that either."   
"I told you it had something to do with Squall!" Xu repeated. "And if we can only find out where he is, then we might be able to get to the bottom of this and maybe, convince Quisty to come back!"   
At this, Zell made a face. "I suppose this'd mean that Seifer's involved?"   
"Huh?" Xu and Cid asked, looking at the young martial artist, perplexed.   
"Seifer threatened to make a punching bag out of my face," Zell said. "Unless I tell him where Squall is. I don't think I've ever seen him that angry before. If I knew any better, I'd say that this time, it's personal."   
"With Seifer, everything's personal," Xu retorted.   
"Could Quistis' decision be because of Rinoa?" Iris suddenly piped up. She looked around hesitatingly. "I mean...with what happened...?"   
"And what happened?" Cid asked the pony-tailed girl. "Confound it! Why am I the last one to know everything that goes around here?"   
"Well, it's not exactly confirmed yet," Iris said, biting her lower lip hesitatingly. "But I heard that, well, Rinoa stormed into Quistis' classroom this morning and...slapped her...they said Rinoa was crying...and then Quisty broke down...and...well, I can't exactly confirm it..."   
At that, Cid closed his eyes and slumped back tiredly on his chair again. Slapped? A red mark on Quistis' face.   
"I-it's true..."   
Everyone turned around, to see Rinoa standing there timidly, and so very vulnerable. Her left hand was clasped on her right arm, as if to protect herself from an unseen force. Her cheeks were matted with dried, unwiped tears, and her usually cheery demeanor was all but gone. She softly closed the door behind her, and just stood there, unsure of what to do next.   
"Rinoa..." Selphie said. Then, she run towards her and gave her a comforting hug. "What's the matter, girl?" Never mind the fact that she was younger than the young sorceress.   
"So...Quistis has left?" Rinoa asked everyone.   
When they nodded, Rinoa closed her eyes. Everything was really getting out of control. Before, she would have been happy with the decision Quistis made. It would mean that, at least, she won't be seeing Squall anymore. She had considered her a traitor. A betrayer of their friendship and of the trust she gave her. But after hearing what Seifer said hours ago, and seeing the pain in his eyes she caused him, she was not sure anymore. Looking at everything in a detached perspective, she realized that she had no right to label Quistis anything, when they had been two similar sides of a coin. Both betrayers of trust and hearts.   
"I'm sorry," Rinoa said, and then covered her face with her hands. "It's my fault she left..."   
"Rinoa," Irvine said, trying to console his friend. So, what he had been suspecting was true. Rinoa did know. And heaven knows just how much it hurt both her and Quistis. Now, if only he could find out where the hell Seifer fit in.   
"Is it true?" Xu asked. "You slapped Quistis in front of her class?"   
Rinoa nodded subtly.   
Xu's eyes narrowed visibly. However, she tried to maintain a civil demeanor. The anger in her voice, however, was clearly defined. "I suppose it would be fair for us to be told of the reason? Rinoa, do you realize how much of an asset Quistis was to the Garden? Do you realize how much her absence would mean? Do you realize that she's my best friend?!"   
"Xu!" Cid said.   
Xu unclenched her hands, and looked down, trying to show a face of apology. "I-i'm sorry, headmaster."   
"I'm sorry!" Rinoa said to Xu. Her eyes clearly showed remorse. "I-I can't tell you the details...exactly...but...Quistis and I had a fight...over Squall. I was angry...and I couldn't control myself...I learned that...." At this, Rinoa broke down, and Irvine embraced her, trying his best to comfort her. He didn't want everyone to know that he knew exactly what was going on. _Damn it, Squall_ he thought. _Don't tell me I have to clean this mess up for you?_   
"Look," Irvine told the others. "We can find out the reason later. Right now, we have to discuss what we have to do next."   
"Find Quistis and bring her back here," Selphie said. "And Squall."   
"Right," Irvine said. He softly let go of Rinoa, and Selphie took his place. "Okay, here's what we do.   
"I doubt Quistis could've gotten very far. It had only been a few hours since she left. Now, we don't know where her final destination is, so we'll just have to play catch-up. Xu, you and Iris try to go to Balamb town. Try and see if she's still there, or if she's not, try to find info on where she'll be headed next."   
Xu and Iris nodded. "Right."   
"Selphie and I will try to get in the Ragnarok and go over to Galbadia," Irvine continued. "If, by any chance, she had left Balamb, she'll most probably be there. From there, it'd be harder to catch up with her. Zell..."   
Zell perked up. "Huh?"   
"You try and find out where Squall is."   
"Oh man!" Zell complained. "You do know Seifer was looking for him, don't you? And his eyes were screaming bloody murder! Look, Squall already gave me a busted lip yesterday. And Seifer almost gave that one a twin! And you want me to look for them? I bet you a year's supply of hotdogs that where Squall is right now, Seifer's bound to be there too! And I don't want to be near two gunbladers who seem to be having their period!"   
"W-wait!" Rinoa asked suddenly, her voice suddenly masked with fear. "S-seifer was looking for Squall?"   
"Oh no," Zell said dryly. "Seifer was _hunting_ Squall."   
Rinoa blanched.   
  
When Squall finally reached the top of the hill, rain had started to pour. The dark clouds had become thicker, and lightning flashed every now and then. The wind was howling; its roar softly rising to a crescendo, and then lessening again.   
Seifer was patiently waiting for him, still on that same position, with his hands atop the other on the handle of his Hyperion stuck on the ground. The wind made his white trenchcoat dance every which way around him. It had only been after noon, but with the weather, it might as well be twilight. When lightning crashed occassionally, it showed Seifer's eyes reflecting cool, deadly composure. And that grin which had seemed to have bceome more evil.   
"You're late," Seifer said. "For a minute there, I thought you had chickened out."   
"What do you want, Seifer?" Squall shouted. "What has this got to do with Rinoa?"   
Seifer ignored him, however, and raised a hand as if to take in everything around them.   
"Look Squall!" he shouted with an almost childlike glee. As if they were in a play. "The heavens are watching us! And they agree with what is happening! Can you almost feel their approval?!" Lightning crashed.   
Squall, face and hair drenched with rain, narrowed his eyes. Seifer, calling him 'Squall'? He never did that before. Has Seifer gone mad?   
"Can you remember the last time we fought, Squall?" Seifer continued. "Just the two of us! Without those meddling wussies you call your friends! You gave me something to remember you by!" With that, his hand softly touched the scar on his face.   
"You gave me one too, Seifer," Squall replied.   
"Oh, yeah," Seifer said, as if he forgot and remembered. "How alike are we really, Squall?"   
"We are nowhere alike!" Squall shouted angrily. "Now cut this crap and tell me what I did! And what this has got to do with Rinoa!"   
"You're right," Seifer said. "We are nowhere alike. You are a bastard who didn't realize what he got. I am a bastard who just realized that I still want what you got, but can't! Because you still has a grip on her heart. And she loves you still. But you're too much of an idiot to realize that!"   
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Squall shouted, confused.   
"Rinoa!" Seifer shouted back, taking a grip on his gunblade and uprooting it from the ground. He raised it, pointing it at Squall. The wind howled more, and lightning screamed, making the metal blade of the Hyperion gleam. "You wrenched out her heart, and you made her cry! And it was not the cry of a simple heartache, but one of a thousand deaths! You betrayed her, Squall! And she hurt like hell!"   
_The hell?!_ Squall thought. _What has this got to do with him?!_   
"And what the hell does this has got to do with you, Seifer?" Squall shot back. "You and Rinoa are over a long time ago! Why the fuck are you meddling with our affairs?!"   
"You forgot Squall!" Seifer said, even as he started to bring his gunblade sideways, in the first position of offense. "I was a Sorceress' Knight! She was a Sorceress...!"   
"You're crazy!" Squall said, both hands clasped on Lionheart, and taking on a stance. "You are not a Sorceress' Knight anymore! And she's not a Sorceress anymore! You're trapped in the past!"   
"You're right, Squall," Seifer said, his body tensing as he was ready to strike. "I am trapped in the past. I still love her."   
With that, Seifer ran towards Squall with blinding speed, Hyperion screaming vengeance at his side.   
  
"Wow," Selphie said as they entered the Garden aeroport. "I never thought I'd get to see this baby again."   
The sleek, dragon-shaped Ragnarok was still as breathtaking as when they first laid eyes on it during the Sorceress war. After then, it hadn't seen much use, mainly because of the fact that everyone had been so busy rebuilding what had been destroyed.   
"C'mon," Irvine said. "You still know how to work the controls, right?"   
"Are you kidding?" Selphie grinned. "I can manipulate anything technical, even though they're much more harder then manipulating men."   
"Was that supposed to mean something?" Irvine asked, stopping. He looked at Selphie quizzically.   
Selphie laughed mischievously and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss on the lips. "C'mon cowboy. There're still hearts we got to save!"   
  
"So what happened?" Zell asked, as they started to run towards the Quad. they had been searching most all of the prospective places Squall could be in, but without much success.   
"I don't want to talk about it Zell," Rinoa said solemnly. "Please, just...drop it."   
"Jeesh," Zell muttered. "You'd think that with everything that has happened to me as of late, what with a busted lip and all, I'd be entitled to at least an explanation of why everyone's so acting damn freaky lately. But noooo! It's better if we keep Zell in the dark! Dammit. I can't even properly French kiss Iris for now!"   
"Zell?" Rinoa asked. "H-how are you and Iris?"   
"Huh?" Zell asked, confused at the question. "What was that supposed to mean?"   
"I mean, have you both had fights and stuff?"   
"Of course," Zell said. "A relationship isn't a relationship until you both share at least one fight with each other. It just sort of shakes things up, you know. Breaks the monotony of everything. Especially the jealous stuff..."   
"Iris gets jealous?" Rinoa asked.   
"Who doesn't?" Zell replied. "Especially when she catches me talking to a girl much more intimately than usual. Not that I mean anything in it or whatever. There are just girls whom I am comfortable joking around with."   
_But its different with Squall_, Rinoa thought. _Something actually happened between her and Quistis_. "H-how did you both manage to smooth things out?"   
"Talk," Zell replied. "It always helps. Of course, a bunch of roses gives me an advantage. And a box of chocolates too."   
They entered the Quad. Zell looked around the whole place. Right now, a retractable plexiglass roof covered the used-to-be open environment. There were students milling around, but no Squall nor Seifer.   
"Dammit," Zell said. "I wonder if someone here knew where they could be?"   
"Zell?" Rino asked again.   
"Humh?" Zell replied rather absentmindedly.   
"W-what if...you found out that Iris was...real intimate with someone...what would you do?"   
"I might break the guy's legs," Zell said.   
"W-would you still trust Iris?" Rinoa asked.   
Zell looked at her for a moment. "I love Iris. I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much before. And I know how much she loves me. And because of that, I am never insecure. If she ever does do something real intimate with a guy, maybe she has a good reason for doing it. And until I can hear that reason from her mouth, I'll still trust her. After she'll tell me, it's now up to me whether that reason was valid enough. This is about Squall and Quistis, isn't this? What did they do, Rinoa?"   
"I promise I'll tell you all after...after I talk with Squall," Rinoa said, slightly trembling. "And Quistis. I promise."   
  
Sparks flew as metal clashed against metal. Squall, face grimacing from the strength of Seifer's attack, tried his best to hold his ground. Their gunblades were crossed now, and their faces were inches from each other. Squall looked into Seifer's eyes and saw in them a mixture of absolute resolution and unbound anger. The rain that ran across their faces mingled with their sweat.   
"The..problem I have...with Rinoa...is none of your damn business, Seifer!" Squall growled.   
"I...don't know...what she saw in you..." Seifer answered. "But...you have no idea...how much she loves...you! And I can't...stand it...when you made her cry...like that...when her love...could've...been...MINE!"   
With that, Seifer lodged his boot in Squall's midsection and kicked. Squall fell down, unable to maintain his balance. Not giving any pause, Seifer brought down his gunblade in a deadly arc, straight down the SeeD commander's head.   
Squall saw the deadly blade rain down on him with the rain, and he immediately rolled aside. He heard the deadly "thump!" as the blade embedded itself on the wet ground where his head used to be. Getting halfway up, Squall delivered a kick that sent Seifer flying backwards. Without missing a beat, Squall extended his right arm and cast Firaga on the still hurtling fighter. The massive fire-based magic assault produced a cloud of smoke where Seifer used to be.   
The wind carried the smoke away almost immediately. Squall gasped in surprise as he saw Seifer crouched there, looking at him as the smoke cleared. The shimmering rainbow hues of the Shell spell still lingered, some of the smoke grasping on it until the wind blew them away. He stood there, amazed that the blonde-haired cadet could even cast Shell at that short span of time.   
Quick as the lightning that gave their battle now light, Seifer hurtled himself at Squall, gloved fists on the ready. Squall was slow to react, still amazed at the quickness in which Seifer managed to counter his magic like that. The sound of knuckle bones hitting jaw followed even as Squall let out an "Uuugh!"   
Grasping Hyperion which was still thrust in the ground, Seifer made a slashing upward cut on the still groggy Squall. It was just pure luck that Squall managed to parry it with his Lion Heart. And their dance of thrusts, parries, and slashes began.   
When Seifer was acknowledged by most everyone in Garden as the best fighter, they had more than valid reasons to. Seifer was a master of the art, even more so than Squall. While he was just plain temperamental and unstable in social interaction with his peer and superiors, he was precise and calculating in the battlefield. Every slash and thrust was delivered with absolute accuracy. There was a saying that you should never give a sword to a man who cannot dance. If dancing was equated to swordfighting, then Seifer was a savant in it.   
Not to say, however, that Squall was a slouch in that department. He did not rise to his commander rank for nothing. People had often marveled at how he learned to adapt to new situations and techniques mere moments after he had seen a move. And he had also discovered moves of his own. The famed Lionheart limit break was still one of the most devastating the students of Balamb Garden had ever seen.   
_I have never seen him fight like this_, Squall said to himself, amazed. _It seemed like this is a differenr Seifer I am facing now!_   
Delivering counters and attacks at Seifer, Squall couldn't help but marvel at the intensity the young man showed. There was nothing of the bravado or the smirking taunt which seemed to characterize every spar that he made with the other students in the Garden. There was nothing of the reckless chances he made during all those training. Looking at him now, he wondered if this was how the real Seifer fought.   
"I did not realize I still cared for her, Squall," Seifer suddenly said, while thrusting at him. He deftly parried it, and delivered an arching slash, which Seifer immediately threw away as if it was nothing. "When you both were squabbling in that balcony this morning, I was secretly amused at seeing her cry. What was it you did, Squall? What was it you did with that lovely instructor of ours?"   
_Quistis?!_ Squall asked himself, even as Seifer's blade almost nicked his cheek. Strands of brown hair fell down. _He knew about Quistis too?! Why does everything lead to what we did?!_   
"To see her crying like that," Seifer continued. "I knew I had to make you pay. For her."   
Seifer brought Hyperion on a sideways slash with his left hand, which the young commander easily blocked. However, he did not see the right punch that soon followed after. Fueling his rage, Squall snarled as he twisted his right wrist and brought their gunblades on the side. Then, using his left, Squall punched Seifer on the solar plexus, which made the former Knight double over. Then, Squall brought up his left knee on Seifer's face, which was followed by a kick which sent Seifer sprawling down.   
Licking his tongue on his lips, Seifer tasted the sweet taste of his own blood. Grinning evilly which was accentuated more by his scar, he wiped the blood away with his gloved left.   
"That's it, Squall," Seifer said. "Let's see whose love for Rinoa is greater. Yours, or mine."   
  
"Come again?!" Irvine said through the com-link. "I can't hear you! Damn storm!"   
"--s here...b---...train....half---r ago....over!" came Xu's voice, which was interrupted by so much static.   
"Sef," Irvine said. "Could you increase our altitude a bit? Above the storm clouds. Maybe the signal'll become clearer there."   
"'kay," Selphie said. "Hang on."   
The red frame of Ragnarok rose higher, its metal-alloy skin shining with the wetness of the storm. After climbing up about a thousand feet or so, Selphie levelled the ship.   
"Come again Xu!" Irvine repeated.   
"I said Quisti--...'s boarded the train to Ga---dia half hour ago! If you go the-- you might still ove--ake her!" Xu said again.   
"Roger on that Xu. And thanks!" Irvine said.   
"No prob---!" Xu said. "Just make sure you bring --r back, y'hear? Bring h-- back! Even if you had to drag her to do it!"   
Despite everything, Irvine could only smile. "Don't worry Xu. We'll bring her back."   
  
There is poetry in fighting. The flow of graceful motions and quick counters were the rhythms of each syllable, be it be iambic or pentametric. The fluid movements as fighters tried their best to attack and counterattack were the words which rhymes at the end of each line. And the reasons that drive each fighter to become a poet of their crafts were the ideals that are conveyed behind those lines of words, which seamlessly integrated itself in the movements of the fighters themselves.   
And under that angry sky on top of that hill, occasionally framed by flashes of lightning and echoed by thunder, Squall and Seifer were master poets of the craft.   
  



	7. VII

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**T**he blue ocean was tranquil and calm. Fish of colorful patterns and various sizes swam freely, unmindful of the great train that ran on the tunnel made of metal and fifteen-inch clear plexiglass which ran from Balamb town towards the continent of Galbadia. The occasional adamantine tortoise swam into view, snapping at the gray-streaked Balamb fish; one of the most delicious delicacy of Balamb, and the favorite of the tortoises.   
Quistis wished she could be just like them, the fish. They looked so calm just swimming there, so placid, even if the world above them was ravaged by a storm. As if they didn't have a care in the world, except maybe for the occasional razor-backed angler. Predators and prey. Was the world ever nothing but a combination of those?   
She had been sitting there in her train cabin cushion seat, head leaning against the glass window, hugging her knees close to her chest. She was wearing a way too-oversized pink sweater, a part of the collar falling loosely around and below her right shoulder, showing the white brassiere strap, and a hip-hugging blue jeans. For once, she put her golden hair on a ponytail. She was vastly different from the tight and orderly SeeD Instructor, which she was just hours ago before finally making a decision which, she had to agree, was more of an impulse than a well-thought out decision. Right now, she didn't want to be associated with that Instructor. As if wearing very casual clothes would wipe her of her guilt.   
She had to admit that after arriving in Deling, she didn't have any idea where to go next, or what to do. She had no relatives that she knew of whatsoever. For as long as she could remember, the Garden had been her home and she couldn't see it any other way. Well, except maybe for the Orphanage. The thought did struck her that, maybe, she should go back to the Esthar continent and to Edea's house. After the Sorceress war, she hadn't gone back there again. Edea went back there, that much she knew. Maybe it would be better if she'll go back there and stay for a while. They would never think of looking there, wouldn't they?   
Quistis sighed, absentmindedly tracing her finger on the window. She was hoping that they'd forgive her for her decision. She wanted to tell them that she didn't abandon Garden. That she didn't abandon them. She just wanted some time to be alone. For a while. Or for many whiles. She wondered what they were doing now. She hoped that her decision didn't leave much of a ruckus. It does not matter, she thought. That was precisely why she was on this train right now, to destination unknown. So that all of them wouldn't have to be in this mess for long. So that everyone could be happy again. Especially Rinoa. With Squall.   
_Oh Squall_, she thought mistily. _You don't have to fight with your feelings anymore..._   
  
"Hahahahah....you...are pathetic," Seifer said, groggily standing up and supporting himself with his Hyperion. Blood was trickling out of his mouth, but he did not seem to notice it.   
Squall was lying facedown on the wet ground. His back was heaving up and down, in a drained manner. His black leather coat was ripped in many different places, and his matted wet hair was somewhat disheveled. After a few moments, he planted his left hand on the ground, and tried to push himself up. His right was still grasping his Lion Heart. He opened his eyes for a bit, seeing double visions of the rocky ground before him. He closed his eyes again and shook his head, and then opened them. He was staring at a small pool of his own blood, no doubt coming from his busted lip and nose. He looked up, to face the refreshing torrent of rain, which washed away the blood. But more trickled still.   
"Look...who's talking..." Squall managed to shoot back, looking at his opponent. Seifer's right cheek suffered a deep cut from his gunblade minutes ago, after he managed to parry a left hook. If Seifer had been any slower, his head would have been skewered like a melon. "You look...like hell...Give this up...Seifer...before one of us...gets seriously hurt."   
"One of us...is already hurt..." Seifer said. "No physical pain...could ever compare with all...the betrayals today. And that...is what I want you to feel...even if it means driving my blade...through your guts."   
"You're crazy..." Squall said. "Insane. You were never hurt by...all these events...you're just using...that as an excuse...to get back at me..."   
"I could care...less...if you rot...in hell..." Seifer said, his eyes slanting in fury again. "What...I care about...is Rinoa...only Rinoa...you hurt her...and now you pay..."   
With this, Seifer seemed to have renewed his strength and sprang to the still-kneeling Squall. The first punch connected. Blood flew from the commander's mouth.   
"Even if..." A backhand which snapped Squall's head back.   
"...I'll have to bring you..." Another straight, which brought another cough of blood.   
"...to the brink of death..." Seifer gave Squall a punch with the hand which still clutched his gunblade. The added weight of the weapon made Squall spit out blood again, and a molar.   
"...to do it!!!" Seifer raised his Hyperion above his head, intending to deliver the finishing blow. Lightning struck, framing the enraged Sorceress' Knight. "I want you to think about everything...while you're floating in near-death, Squall..."   
Suddenly, Squall, swung Lionheart with all his might. The flat side caught Seifer squarely on the head, spinning the fighter back several meters. Squall, eyes blazing with hazy fury, seemed to have glown in pale yellow aura. Against the darkened storm, it seemed to have become like a beacon for an angry soul.   
  
"You don't have to come out with me in this storm!" Zell shouted back to Rinoa, even as the rain lashed his face. His grip on the young sorceress' hand tightened.   
"I want to!" Rinoa shouted back, drenched and shivering. "I owe it to both of them. To Seifer...and to Squall!"   
"Damn those two idiots!" Zell said. "Only a stupid moron would dare have a duel in a storm like this!" _And only an even more stupid moron would go out looking for them_, he muttered to himself. _Like us._   
It was just fortunate for them that someone in the Quad overheard what Seifer said to Squall. The Devil's Seat, he said. When the young cadet mentioned how Seifer punched Squall on the face, Rinoa's eyes began to show even more worry and concern, if that was even possible. She placed a hand on her mouth, as if she was about to go faint. Zell, however, could only shake his head. He didn't know how Seifer fit into all of this yet, but if that was his greeting to Squall, he wondered how they were doing now?   
Rinoa, for her part, couldn't even bear to think what the two were doing now. She knew Seifer wouldn't hesitate critically injuring Squall. Those scars in both their faces were a testament to that. Seifer was the kind of man who usually went to extremes, whatever the consequences might be. Just as long as he had a reason to.   
_It's your fault._   
Not now, she thought to herself. Now was not the time to argue with her conscience. She had been through enough, and the last thing she needed was her own self telling her this was all her fault.   
_It's true._   
"Damn you," she muttered to herself. "Get out of my head. Now's not the damn time to tell me I'm wrong."   
_If something happens to Squall..._   
"I'll kill myself," she answered her own self. "Hyne, please don't let something happen to Squall!"   
_That's how it goes, doesn't it? We only realize how much we've lost when we've asked them to go away._   
"Squall..." she muttered to herself. "Please live..."   
_Just Squall?_   
"...Seifer..." she said softly. "Don't hurt Squall. Please....if you hate me...don't include Squall..."   
_It's your fault._   
  
Seifer tried to clear his head from the blow. It felt as if his head had been put in a blender, and the setting set to maximum. He blinked and unblinked his eyes, trying to form the four figures a few meters in front of him into one. The glowing figure of pure, raw, aura.   
_A glowing aura...?_   
  
"Look!" Zell suddenly shouted, pointing in the distance. "I see something!"   
"What is it?" Rino asked, running beside Zell. She strained her eyes against the battering rain and looked to where the young martial artist was pointing. Lightning crashed, and in the deep neon blue that lit the distance for a few brief moments, she saw two figures atop a flat-topped hill. Two figures outlined in the blue light. One was glowing with an aura. The other was kneeling down.   
"Squall and Seifer!" she cried.   
_Which was which?_   
  
Thinking quickly, Seifer cast a double dose of Protect spell, even as Squall charged at him in Limit fury. He couldn't have timed his spell more quickly. The moment he felt the whole barrier form around him, he felt the start of deadly sequential slashes from the adamantine blade of the Lion Heart. But even the Protect spell proved to be not full protection enough. He felt the sharp edges cut through his trenchcoat, forming deep, long slashes that went through skin. Specks of blood started to appear suddenly from out of the multitudes of cuts which seemed to appear from out of his body. The storm was out of the field of his senses now. All he felt were just multitudes of small pain which added up to large ones.   
But even then, he tried to think clear. Renzokuken--the Sequential Sword Slash--was only a prelude to what he knew was the greatest and deadliest limit the Garden had ever seen. He had to admit that even his famed Fire Cross and No Mercy deathblows were nothing compared to Squall's Lionheart. And he knew that even a Protect won't be enough to shield him. Even now, the spell was beginning to show its strain from the Renzokuken. The Limit blow following it would shred his body to pieces.   
Timing the barrage of attacks with his quick eyes, Seifer managed to bring forward his Hyperion to block an attack coming straight up. For the first time since Squall's limit attack started, a clash of metal against metal was heard. Squall, in his hazy state of mind while under the Limit influence, seeing that his sequential blow had been interrupted, grew more furious even as he started to shift into his deadliest attack. Forming a vacuum as Squall brought his gunblade downwards, a wind stronger than that of the storm started to generate, and almost immediately, Squall seemed to have become like a blur as he started the chain of deadly songs of death.   
It took all of Seifer's skills to block all of the attacks. The only sound he could hear were the various angry clangs of metal as they meet. It seemed that Hyperion and Lionheart also both share a deep enmity between them much as their masters had with each other. Neither seemed to want to break apart. Who ever thought weapons had no pride?   
  
"Oh shit!" Zell said, even as they approached the foot of the hill. He saw that attack before. He'd seen it countless times during their war against Ultimecia. Far as he knew, not one had survived under that barrage of assaults.   
Rinoa, too, knew that form. She had seen it been done. Every slash, and every form. It was one of the reasons why she fell in love with him. The ferocity. That wild animal unleashed within Squall.   
But now, it was an attack she didn't want to see. She didn't want to lose both of them. Not Squall. And not Seifer. She didn't want to!   
"STOP!!!" she screamed, and her voice pierced through rain and wind, echoing through the afternoon.   
  
The voice seemed to have penetrated Squall's hazy mind. Through the thick mists of the fury inside him which allowed him to draw forth a blow so fatal that it decimated everything he had ever encountered. It was a voice that sang him to sleep months ago. It was a voice that tickled his fancy even as it laughed and teased him. It was a voice he had heard crying hours ago.   
_Rinoa._   
Seifer, too, heard it. The voice that he had fought for. The voice of the reason why he still managed to stand even against his opponent's greatest attack. The voice of the one who broke his heart and replaced it with an icy void.   
_Rinoa._   
And they both looked down, to see the raven-haired angel looking up at them, together with Zell. That face of hers which captured their fancies in their own respective time. Her eyes were misty, even as tears joined with rain.   
And Seifer turned back to Squall, and his eyes narrowed.   
  
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.   
Rinoa saw Seifer bring down his gunblade. His white trenchcoat was splashed with blood. Every motion seemed to have been played in frames by her mind. Frame by frame by frame. She saw Seifer tighten his grip on his blade. And she saw Squall turn back to him. And as lightning struck, framing the two fighters, she saw Seifer bring up his gunblade at point blank range in a deadly arc. And her voice seemed to have been lost for one moment as she saw Squall fling back his head, his brown hair flying against the wind. The Lion Heart he was holding in his right hand fell, even as she saw blood gush out from his body.   
It was then that she screamed. And the thunder seemed to echo her cry.   
  
Thankfully, the storm lessened when they were halfway to the Galbadian continent. Irvine had been right when he said that the storm may have only been concentrated at the Balamb part of the world.   
Now, he was leaning on one of the metal posts of the Deling train station. His impatience was evident on the many times he looked at his watch, and of the way he kept tapping his foot on the ground. The train would be arriving any minute soon. He just wished it would be sooner.   
"The train arrived yet?" came Selphie's voice from the com-link. It was the fifth time she asked that since they arrived.   
"No," Irvine replied.   
"People are starting to stare at the Ragnarok," Selphie said. "Whose idea was it to land in the park anyways?"   
"You said you needed a wide open space," Irvine retorted, getting a bit annoyed. He didn't need another argument to muddle things up. "And let them stare for as long as they want, damn it!"   
There was a long pause at the end of the com-link.   
"Look, Sef...I'm sorry," Irvine said, trying to soothe her. "It's just that I hate waiting. I'm sorry I snapped at you like that."   
"I won't be disturbing you, then. Selphie out."   
_Oh great_, Irvine sighed. _Damn you, Squall. When this is over, I'm gonna personally wring your neck._   
It was then that he heard a train whistle from the distance. Other people who had been waiting same as him started to mill on the arrival platform.   
"It's about damn time," he muttered.   
It took about ten minutes for the passengers to finally get out. Irvine looked at each of the passengers. It was a good thing he was tall, so he didn't have to strain his neck trying to find that familiar golden hair.   
Finally, his sharp eyes spotted a bespectacled golden-haired, young woman. And although she was wearing her hair in a ponytail, there was no mistaking that exquisite face.   
"Quisty!"   
  
She did not know how she got there, but the next thing Rinoa knew, she was cradling Squall's head on her lap. Blood was pouring out of his mouth and nose, and one of his eyes was bruised and half-closed. Smoothing back his wet hair, Rinoa cried profusely, her tears falling on the young commander's battered face.   
"Squall...Squall...you'll be alright...tell me you're alright, damn it!"   
Zell went to kneel beside Squall and he immediately laid his hands on top of him. Almost immediately, the unearthly green glow of Curaga started to envelope the wounded man's body. But still, it didn't seem to have taken much effect.   
"Damn it!" Zell muttered. "We have to get him professional help, and fast! Curaga can't help him much now!"   
It was then that Squall's eyes fluttered for a bit, and slowly opened. The first sight he saw was Rinoa's crying face, looking down at him.   
"Ri..noa..." he said, trying to let out each word. More blood went out from his mouth. "I...am...sor...ry..."   
"Don't speak!" Rinoa said, brushing away hair from his face lovingly. She tried to smile at him. "Everything's going to be fine...you'll be fine...don't talk..."   
Squall closed his eyes again. Rinoa crouched lower, still cradling Squall's head, and kissed his forehead.   
"I'm sorry..." Seifer said softly.   
They turned their look at Seifer, who was kneeling there, very much exhausted and bloody. He was leaning on the Hyperion, which was stuck on the ground. He was as battered as Squall.   
"Damn you Seifer!" Rinoa said angrily, her eyes narrowing at the former Knight. The sadness mingled with her anger. "I can never forgive you for this! Never! You hear?! NEVER!"   
Seifer looked at Rinoa, and then closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the gun part of Hyperion. And in the rain, he wept.   
  
Quistis turned around at the sound of the voice, and saw Irvine walking towards him, trying to brush past the crowd. She turned around and tried to quicken her pace as best as she could with the bag she was carrying.   
"Quisty! Wait!" Irvine said. Finally, he was able to break away from the throng of people and caught her hand.   
"Leave me alone!" Quistis cried, trying to break free from his grasp. "You don't understand why I had to do this! So just...leave me alone!"   
"I know," Irvine said. "I know everything, Quisty."   
At that, Quistis stopped struggling, and looked at the young cowboy's eyes. _He knew?_   
"Squall confided in me," Irvine went on. "And no, I didn't tell anyone."   
Quistis looked down, vulnerable. "I cannot face them. Especially not Rinoa."   
"And you think running away will help solve everything?" Irvine asked. "You think...burying the past by turning away from your friends is the only thing to do?"   
"You don't understand!" Quistis said, starting to cry again. "I can never rest, knowing I'm carrying this guilt! This pain!"   
"That is precisely why running away isn't the answer," Irvine said softly. "Wherever you go, you'll still carry that inside you. And it won't ever go away. Not until you are personally forgiven. Not until you can hear from Rinoa that it's alright."   
"She won't!" Quistis shot back. "She won't ever forgive me, and I can't blame her! I broke her trust..."   
"How do you know that she won't forgive you?" Irvine asked. "You won't, until you try. And you can't ever give up trying. That is the least you can do. For yourself, and for Rinoa. And for us who cares about you."   
Quistis looked at the young Galbadian SeeD. Was he right? Can she ever be forgiven?   
It was then that the com-link came alive with the sound of sobbing. It was Rinoa's voice. Amidst the sound of static, what came through sent a chill on their veins.   
"Irvine...Selphie...! Squall...he...he's near death...!"   
And Quistis dropped her bag, and placed a hand over her mouth, even as she fainted.   
  



	8. VIII

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**"G**ive me a reading!" Dr. Kadowaki almost shouted, as they wheeled the bloodied Squall atop a metal stretcher. An IV was stuck on the barely breathing commander's right arm, constantly injecting concentrated amounts of refined synthetic curative elixers. An oxygen mask was placed on his face, which was constantly pumped by another medical aide. The ugly gash on his chest from Seifer's gunblade had been kept in check by small metal clamps.   
"Pulse is getting lower!" one of the male aids reported. "Any more lower, and we may lose him!"   
"Eyes are barely showing any response at all," a female nurse said.   
"Damn!" Dr. Kadowaki cursed. "Keep pumping oxygen into his lungs. As long as his heart is still pumping, we still have a chance!"   
Beside the stretcher, keeping up, Rinoa was crying continuously, brushing Squall's still wet hair time and again.   
"Hang on love," she kept whispering. "You'll be alright. Don't die on me now, Squall! Please...heaven, don't take him away...!"   
On the opposite side of the bed, Zell was just looking deathly pale at his comrade, and then at the crying girl. Behind them were the Garden students who were quite taken aback with the reality of what just happened.   
Finally, they arrived at the medical center of the Garden. After that incident with the Galbadia Garden during the Sorceress war, Cid made it one of the top priority as the Garden was rebuilt to have a fully functional and state of the art medical center in which to treat any SeeDs who may have incurred serious or fatal injuries during missions and emergency attacks. Not that they were expecting any attacks anytime soon, seeing as how the whole world seemed to have been shaken after learning what Ultimecia had intended to do. For now, there seemed to have been an uneasy peace over the whole world. But Cid did not take any chances, anyway. If there was one thing experience taught him, it was that sorrys always come too late.   
Squall was wheeled into the ICU. Rinoa would have wanted to follow, but Dr. Kadowaki held out a hand to stop her.   
"But I want to be with him!" Rinoa protested.   
"I'm sorry, but this is a delicate situation," the lady doctor said, shaking her head empathically, but with resolve. "Don't worry. We will do our best to make sure he'll live."   
"But he needs me," Rinoa said, almost pleadingly.   
Dr. Kadowaki shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry. You'll have to watch from here."   
It was then that Zell went behind Rinoa and held her shoulders and squeezed them meaningly. Rinoa turned to look sideways at him, and Zell shook his head. Rinoa sadly looked down, and Dr. Kadowaki closed the door. The only way for Rinoa to see what was happening to her lover was through the glass window of the door.   
  
Inside the room, the flurry of activity was continous.   
"Sarah has finished stitching the main wound, doctor, but ECG shows that the patient is going into cardiac arrest!" a male nurse said, looking at the lines on the display of the machine which showed how much the heart is beating.   
"Give him 50 ccs of epinephrine," Dr. Kadowaki said. "Keep his heart pumping! Ready the defibrillator, someone!"   
  
"What's happening?" Rinoa asked to no one in particular, as she watched all the hubbub going on inside the room.   
"Don't worry, Rinny," Zell said, trying to put Rinoa at ease. "Dr. Kadowaki won't let Squall die. You'll see! He'll be alright."   
Rinoa did not reply, but instead continued looking at the activity inside the room. She watched the graph on the ECG start to falter, and her heart seemed to be beating faster, almost as if she wanted her heart to beat for him instead.   
And then, she saw it flatline.   
At that moment, she felt her heart stop, as well. Time seemed to have frozen in space, as she watched Dr. Kadowaki get out the shock pads. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. She knew too well what that meant. They had to apply a dosage of voltage to Squall, in order to make his heart function again. It was no different than "jumpstarting" an engine to make it come to life. She watched them hover the pads on his chest, and then pressed them down. Squall's body bounced on the bed. But still, the reading on the machine did not deviate from that straight line. Another voltage, and she saw Squall's body bounce again. And then another.   
It was surreal.   
Finally, she watched as everyone stepped away from the bed. She watched as Dr. Kadowaki remove her face mask, as well as the others. She watched her stare at Squall's motionless body, and then watched her with fearful eyes as she walked towards the door.   
Both she and Zell were unable to speak as Dr. Kadowaki opened the door. They knew her answer even before they could ask the question.   
It was then than Zell saw Rinoa silently walk towards the ICU room to her dead boyfriend, in a daze. Her eyes were unblinking, and her skin seemed to have become as white as sheet. She seemed as if she, too, had died.   
  
"Zell! Zell! this is Irvine! Dammit, Zell! Pick up!" Irvine spoke through the com-link for what seemed like hours now, but in truth, it had only been a quarter of an hour eversince he carried the fainted Quistis to the Ragnarok. Right now, they were above Galbadian seas towards the continent of Balamb.   
"Shit," Irvine cursed. "I wonder why the hell they aren't answering?"   
"Maybe their batteries run out," Selphie said, as she deftly piloted the red ship. "Or maybe Zell turned it off. There are many possibilities, Irvy."   
Irvine sighed, and turned back to look at the still unconscious Quistis lying on the extended padded seat. She had turned pale then, but now, at least her cheeks had returned back to their rosy color.   
"I wonder what the hell could've happened?!" Irvine asked. It was a rhetorical question, of course. He knew that Selphie had as much idea as him. He just had to ask that out.   
"Damn. What could've Rinoa meant when she said that Squall's dying?"   
"Near death," Selphie corrected, biting her lower lip and frowning. Whether it was due to piloting, or by what she said, he couldn't figure out. "Near death is different from dying."   
"Whatever," Irvine said.   
"At least in near death, it can still be abetted," Selphie reasoned.   
"Shit, Squall," Irvine said, taking off his hat. "What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?"   
"Do you think, maybe, it was because of Seifer?" Selphie asked. She let out an involuntary subtle shudder.   
"That is the biggest possibility I can think of right now," Irvine said.   
It was then that they heard a groan from behind them. Irvine turned back to see that Quistis had regained a bit of consciousness.   
"Squall..." she murmured. "...I shouldn't...have...I'm sorry...we shouldn't've...Rinoa..."   
Irvine got up and walked towards her. He knelt beside the extended seat she was lying in. And he gently shook her. "Quisty..."   
Quistis' eyelids fluttered, and she opened her eyes. Irvine was blurry at first, but the figure gradually sharpened. "I-irvine...?"   
"You fainted," Irvine said, and tried to give her a reassuring smile.   
Suddenly, she got up. "Squall! What happened to..?!"   
"We don't know," Irvine said, standing up. "I tried contacting Zell, but nobody answered."   
"Rinoa said...Squall's near death..." Quistis swallowed. "Squall...!"   
"Selphie," irvine called. "How much more time until we get there?"   
"Fifteen minutes, tops!" Selphie said back.   
"Okay!" Irvine then looked back at Quistis. "Don't worry, Quisty. In fifteen minutes, we'll know just what the hell's happening."   
Quistis nodded. But she knew that it was going to be one of the longest fifteen minutes of her life.   
  
_Haze...where am I? What's happening...?_   
Squall felt strange. It was as if he was dreaming, and conscious of that fact.   
_Am I dreaming...?_   
Squall brought up his hands and looked at it. It was still gloved. Black. But it was shimmering, as if rainbows were dancing on it. He looked at himself, as if he was discovering himself for the first time. He was still in his favorite clothes--the furred black leather jacket,and black pants. The rainbows were shimmering there still.   
_I am dreaming..._   
For the first time, he looked around him. But all he saw were white. There was nothing, except pure, untarnished white. He looked down, and although he felt solid ground (or at least he _thought_ he felt he did), there was nothing to see but white. He was floating in blank. It was as if the whole place had been spilled over by a giant white paint, and it left nothing uncovered. Except himself. The air was cool, though not cold. Just a soothing, calming cool.   
That was also the next thing he noticed. The feeling of calmness. As if he was finally at rest. He had never felt this calm before. It was as if almost all his emotions were gone, except that pervading feeling of soothing calm.   
_What happened...?_   
"Hello..."   
He turned around. At the sound of the voice. It was a female's. _Who's there?_   
"Look..."   
Squall turned back, and saw trees, and beautiful, colorful shrubberies. The whole area was covered with small, pruned grass. It was a sea of green, except for the cobbled pathways which snaked from everywhere. Birds were flying in the air, and twittering in the trees, and butterflies flitted from flower to flower. Gardenias, chrysanthemums, and roses. There were tulips, and lilies. He looked again, to his front, to find a beautiful fountain, carved in smooth marble. In the middle was a statue of a beautiful woman holding a jug from which crystal water flowed. There were also white marble arches on some of the paths. Some were covered with ivies, and green climbing vines.   
_Wasn't it just blank nothingness a while ago?_   
"Here..."   
He turned around, and saw a beautiful woman in a peach turtle-neck sweater, and blue jeans. Her hair was a very dark brown, which, in a darker light, could be mistaken as black. A white hairband was pushed up her hair. Her hands were clasped in front of her in that unassuming manner. Her smile was familiar to him, though for some reason, he couldn't understand why.   
"Hello," she said again.   
Squall did not reply. He knew her. He just couldn't point out where.   
The woman walked to him. "It's okay to talk."   
"I...I seem to be lost," Squall said.   
"You've always been lost," the woman said. "Eversince that night in the cabin days ago."   
The cabin? A piece fell into place. "Y-yes...the cabin. How did you know?"   
"I know of many things about you," the woman smiled. "Squall."   
The woman called her Squall. That was his name. Another piece. A small one. "Could you tell me where I am now?"   
"Lost," the woman said. "Let me help you find your way. Come walk with me."   
They walked along a pathway, towards an arch. Squall soon found himself on a maze of shrubberies. He had read of places like this in books.   
Books? Where had he read those books?   
"This is a beautiful garden, don't you think?" the woman asked.   
"Garden," Squall repeated. "We are in a garden. A beautiful garden?" Another piece then seemed to have appeared. He was in a Garden. Not this one. Another garden.   
"Yes, this is a beautiful garden," the woman said. "There are instances where people come here, as well. Too often, they too, were lost. But somehow, they manage to find their way."   
"I have to get home," Squall said. "I feel that someone is waiting for me." But where was home?   
"Oh good," the woman smiled. "That means that you'll find your way soon. Its just a matter of when."   
"Who are you?" Squall finally asked.   
"Just a friend," the woman said, smiling. "Do you remember what happened that night in the cabin? Where you started getting lost. The beginning is always a good place to start looking for something we lost. Too often, the things we seek are always in the last place we expect to look for them."   
Squall tried to remember. What happened then? "That night..."   
"Yes, that night," the woman said. She seemed to be coaxing him, without pushing. He liked that. She still reminded him of someone, though.   
"Nothing," Squall suddenly said.   
"Nothing?"   
"There was a lot of nothing then. Whiteness. Like before, a moment ago, when I came here," Squall said, remembering. "There were lots of nothings. Blankness. White."   
"Snow?" the woman suggested.   
There was a click inside his mind. Snow. "Y-yes...snow...cold. It was cold." He started to remember more, as pieces started to fall into place. "But then, I felt warmth."   
"Heat?"   
"Yes. I felt a warmth. I don't how long I've fought between warmth and cold. But I feel warmth." Squall said, looking forward slowly. They were walking amidst turns and twists inside the green labyrinth. "After a while..."   
"Body warmth," the woman said.   
"There was someone with me?" Squall asked.   
"Try and remember," the woman said. "There was warmth. But there was no sun."   
"No...I remember something golden," Squall said. "If there was no sun, then the golden thing I saw was...?"   
The woman didn't reply. Instead, she walked beside him, hands clasped behind her back, waiting for him to continue.   
"The gold danced with the fire," Squall remembered. The hazy images in his mind started to form shape. A golden river of silk, dancing with fire which glowed beside them.   
_Them?_   
"I was with a person with golden hair. We were embracing..." Squall said. A question nagged inside his mind. "Who was the person?" A question. A ques...quis...Quis...   
"Quistis," Squall said suddenly. "I remember Quistis. Quistis Trepe, of a garden. The Garden. Balamb Garden."   
"Very good," the woman smiled approvingly. "You remember fast, Squall. Yes. Do you remember her more?"   
"She was beautiful," Squall said. "She was smart, and intelligent. And she...why did I embrace her?"   
"She was trying to save your life," the woman said. "You could've died, if left long in that cold. She gave you her warmth. She saved your life by the heat of her body."   
"Something happened," Squall said.   
The woman smiled. "You cannot expect heat, and not find fire. There was a flame that was ignited. Passion flared that night."   
And then, images started falling into place. The passion he shared with her. How their limbs intertwined in a sea of lust and musk and moans and groans. And at least one of them shared love.   
"So I love her?" Squall asked.   
"Why don't you find out more? Let's start with Love," the woman said. "Have you ever been in love, Squall?"   
"M-maybe," Squall said. "I remember a smile. And a kiss. I remember the taste of someone's lips. Sweet."   
"Quistis?" the woman asked.   
"Yes," Squall said, even as his mind said, 'No'. "No!"   
"No?" the woman asked.   
"I...I'm not sure," Squall hesitated. He closed his eyes. He wanted to think of Quistis when he thought of love, but somehow, his mind seemed to reject that image.   
"What else do you carry in that heart of yours, Squall?" the woman asked.   
"I carry...carried..." Squall said, trying to remember. He looked up, to the blue sky. _Blue_? "I carried...something blue...as the sky."   
The woman hummed. It was a song. A song he remembered. However, the woman seemed to falter when humming that song. As if she, too, remembered something apart from his.   
A song, a blue, he carried. Then, an image of something black and silky. And then, the soft texture of a skin. And dark eyes. The image seemed to flit in his mind, and the eyes narrowed as if in smile, and then disappeared again from his view, as if teasing him. She had always teased him. Whenever he was sullen. She always seemed to tease him, even when he's serious.   
"A girl of black hair, with smiling eyes, in blue clothes," Squall remembered. "I remember carrying her. Over a bridge, as she was unconscious. In a time when sorceresses warred."   
"We are going back more than we wanted," the woman said. "The name of the girl?"   
"I cannot remember," Squall said, shaking his head frustratingly.   
"Look inside your heart, Squall," the woman said. "After all, that's where everything is stored."   
"My heart?" Squall asked. Heart...heart...heartilly. "Heartilly. Her name was Heartilly. Rinoa Heartilly!"   
The woman just smiled. And his mind brightened more. Everything sprang then. Everything. He fell down, on his knees, holding his head. It was like the name had been the master key which unlocked everything, and all the memories came tumbling down to him like an avalanche, burying him.   
After the memories came the feelings. Of hurt, and pain, and betrayals. Too many betrayals the past days. And too many tears. Tears which seemed to rival even the storm that was raging that last time. That storm...what was he doing outside the storm? And then he remembered, again.   
The rain was lashing at his face while he met Seifer's challenge up there on Devil's Seat. Seifer, who said that he was there to teach him something. Who said that he was there to make him pay for the hurt he had caused Rinoa. And he remembered the fury in Seifer's eyes as he lunged at him with his gunblade. Each slash seemed to be for each tear that Rinoa shed. Why was he doing that for her?   
He looked up slowly, and found the woman squatting, looking at him with friendly, consoling eyes. "It's painful, isn't it? And confusing. Too many players in the field. And the game was too complex for everyone to understand."   
"I made Rinoa cry," Squall said softly. "I hurt her. I felt how much she hurt. Right now. I felt Quistis' hurt. I felt Seifer's hurt. I felt all their pain."   
His face contorted and he caught himself with his right arm before he fell down in the grass inside that labyrinth. He was remembering the last times. And the pain as Seifer ripped his chest with his gunblade.   
  
"Wake up, Squall," Rinoa asked, as if expecting Squall's motionless body to just open its eyes and then look at her, and then, just smile.   
"Please. Open your eyes. Don't die on me. I love you."   
She would've given everything that moment to see him smile again. She would forgive everything, forget _everything_, if only his eyes would flutter again.   
It did not.   
  
The murmurs of students and onlooker cadets echoed throughout the hallways as they watched Quistis ran towards the medical section and into the Intensive Care Unit. Her face was flushed pale, those angelic features almost becoming anxiously blank. Behind her were Irvine and Selphie.   
They knew that this morning, Quistis tendered her resignation. And then, not long ago, their SeeD commander was brought in a stretcher, his body covered with blood, with Rinoa and Zell at his side. And Seifer was detained in the Garden cell. Not until the Galbadian attack a year or so ago had the atmosphere in the Garden been this charged before.   
Finally, Quistis arrived just outside the room. There were a lot of people outside the room. SeeDs, students, and instructors. The whole atmosphere was silent here, unlike that in the hallway. The whole surrounding was muted. Quistis thought she could hear some sniffings in the crowd.   
It did not take long for the last person on the crowd to realize that she was there, standing silently. That was all it took. After that, people started looking at her, and then, little by little, a pathway was cleared. Everyone was looking at her now, but she did not seem to notice. All she saw was the door, opening there like an ominous invitation to hell.   
Her steps became timid, and faltering. She had to clench her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. Behind her, Irvine and Selphie were following. Selphie was embraced by the young Galbadian. Both were completely blank as to what to expect next.   
The moment Quistis was before the open door, she unconsciously leaned on the door sill. Her heart seemed to have frozen for what seemed like forever. The first she saw was the flat line on the ECG screen. And she felt her heart crumple inside her. But there were no tears now, and it seemed to have made things a lot more painful. She leaned her forehead on the door sill, wanting to cry, but no tears came out. She saw Rinoa crying beside the bed, hair damp and cheeks wet with tears ever more so than from the rain. She was holding Squall's pallid hand. She did not seem to notice her standing on the door. In fact, she did not seem to notice anything else except Squall's still body and herself.   
Quistis' gaze lingered on the still body of the young man who, just days ago, shared her warmth. She would've wanted to just reach out and touch Squall. To just brush those wet hair back from his face. But Rinoa was there. And she couldn't do it, no matter how she wished it so. She dared not intrude into their moment now. She had intruded enough. And so, she just stood there, and touched her love from afar. Just by her thoughts.   
He was so close, and yet, infinitely so far.   
  
"Come," the woman said, helping Squall up. "We are still not out of the maze. You're still lost. But at least you have found the path."   
Squall stood up, in trembling feet. The woman looked up at him, and then placed a hand on his chest. And just as suddenly, the pain went away, as if it was never there. But he remembered now.   
"It was my fault," Squall murmured. "Everything that has happened was my fault. If only Quistis and I hadn't--"   
"Don't start with the blaming, Squall," the woman said.   
"But what happened--" Squall started.   
"What happened was a sharing of passion by two people," the woman interrupted. "What happened was a moment frozen in time. And it was remembered by someone who was so very much in love with the other."   
"But I was in love with Rinoa!" Squall said. "I _am_ in love with Rinoa."   
"You still don't understand human feelings, don't you," the woman asked, looking at him. "I was not talking about your feelings. I was talking about hers..."   
"Her? Quistis?" Squall asked.   
"She loved you very much. Didn't you feel that?" the woman asked. "And that feeling, she had hidden for so long. Firstly, because of the fact that you were her student, and she was your instructor. And second, because of the developing relationship between you and Rinoa Heartilly. She loved you so much, Squall, and when that time at the cabin presented itself, she could not help but be drawn by the circumstances. All it took was for her to see your eyes. That was it. You cannot blame a human for its inherent passion. That would be just like blaming a dog, for growing fur."   
"So, you're saying its her fault then?" Squall asked.   
"There you go again," the woman said. "Stop blaming anyone. It was not her fault. It was not yours. What happened was a spur of the moment. But you lived on it, and then doubted your love for Rinoa. That was when you really got lost."   
"After what happened, could you blame me?" Squall asked the woman. "Quistis and I...I shared something with her then...it was special..."   
"Yes. She felt that. And you made her happy," the woman said. "That night. But she felt guilty. That was why she had to go away from you. To sort out her feelings logically."   
"That was what I was about to do, as well," Squall said. "When I tried to walk up to her in her classroom. That was what I was about to do. Talk to her about us."   
"Then tell me what you were about to tell her," the woman asked, crossing her hands. She seemed to be studying him much more closely now.   
For the first time since she laid her hand on his chest, he felt doubt. Did she know something?   
"I...I was about to tell her that...I don't think walking away from each other like that was the answer," Squall said. "That I think it would be better for us to talk instead."   
"You still want her," the woman said, getting straight through everything. The way she said it was so sudden that Squall was caught unaware.   
"W-what?" Squall asked. "I-I just want..."   
"After what happened, you've been feeling torn," the woman said, as if reading him like a book. "Just as suddenly, Rinoa's appeal seemed to have lessened. Was it because Rinoa was more of a girl, while Quistis was more of a woman?"   
"N-no...you're getting me wrong..." Squall said. That was not what he was feeling, wasn't it? His love for Rinoa was still as strong!   
"When your friend told you that you should go talk to her, he meant that you should talk to her as a man who wanted to settle things with a woman," she said. "Without any ulterior motives. All the cards laid out on the table. But you, Squall, were hiding some of your aces on your sleeve."   
"N-no..." Squall said.   
"You want her, because of what happened, And you thought it was love," the woman continued. How her voice seemed to have been so calm made it even more unbearable.   
"And you saw how much she loves you, and you thought you can get her with that. But when Rinoa found out, you were afraid of losing her, as well. That was why you chose to turn your back from Quistis and follow Rinoa instead. Did you see her eyes, Squall?"   
Squall looked away.   
"She was reaching out for you. And you turned away from her," the woman said. "You did not love her as much as you thought you did. It was only purely because of what happened which made you think that you love her. If you were to make an effort to wedge yourself in deeper in her heart that time, what would she have felt if she knew that you don't love her as much as she thought you do?"   
His jaws tightened. He felt that he did not deserve this.   
"What were you afraid of, Squall?" the woman continued. "That you might lose Quistis' love, if you ignore her? That if she continues to avoid you, sooner or later, that feeling she feels for you will dissipate, and may even transfer to someone else? Is that why you wanted to talk to her and try to convince her that you both not talking were being childish?"   
"Please..." Squall whispered. "It's not that..."   
"The fact was, Squall, you were being selfish," the woman said. "You wanted _both_ their loves. Wasn't Rinoa's enough that you have to take Quistis' too, even though you don't really love her?"   
The feeling of calmness was gone now. Squall was utterly confused, and at the same time, angry. But who was he angry at? This strangely familiar woman who dissected him as if he was nothing, or at himself for knowing that what the woman said was true?   
The woman walked a few steps, and then squatted in front of a bush of roses. She picked one slowly, and then smelled it. It was a red rose. She turned to Squall and gave the rose to him. She resumed the walk, and Squall followed, holding a red rose.   
"The young man you were fighting with was right," the woman continued. "You are quite fortunate, though you just didn't realize it. Rinoa loved you with all her heart."   
"Seifer?" Squall asked. "What does he know about love?"   
The woman grinned at him. "You'd be surprised. In fact, I think it would do you well to learn from him. He knew what he wanted."   
"Rinoa?"   
"He loved her so much that he was willing to risk everything for her just to get back at you," the woman said. "For making her feel that pain. It was not the same as when he was a Sorceress' Knight. That was mixed with duty. He did what he did this time because he loved her so much, he felt the need to protect her, even though she really doesn't love him back."   
"I thought he was different," squall said.   
"You were not fighting the Sorceress' Knight then, Squall. You were fighting a person who had love as his shield and blind passion as his sword."   
They turned a corner, and ended up on a blank wall of green. The woman turned to her.   
"Do you think you're still lost, Squall?" the woman asked.   
"I...I don't know...maybe," Squall said. There was hesitation in his voice.   
"The fact is, you stopped being lost moments ago," the woman said. "You already saw the way out, but you did not want to take it because you're still selfish."   
"I am not selfish!" Squall said, getting angry. He was not being selfish!   
"Then let go," the woman said. "Let go of that false feeling you have for Quistis. You owe her that much. Her love for you was pure, and if you're thinking of returning it with a semblance of a 'love' because you don't want her to lose her feelings for you, then I am disappointed in you..."   
"But she loves me," Squall tried to reason out. "And...I want her."   
"For?" the woman asked, crossing her arms, and tilting her head at her.   
Squall slowly looked down and did not reply. Because he realized that he didn't have a reason. Why did he want her? For what happened?   
The woman slowly walked towards him. She cupped Squall's face with both hands, and made him look at her. Those eyes were soft. They radiated love, and he felt calm again. It was something that he felt a long time ago. "Squall, you already have the love of someone that you, too, loved. There is nothing more you could want for."   
"Rinoa," Squall said softly.   
_Squall..._   
He looked up at the sound of her voice. It seemed to have come from the heavens.   
_Please wake up. Open your eyes, please! I love you._   
"Rinoa!"   
The wall of green before them started to disappear, as if melting in air. Squall ran through it, and he found himself in the middle of the labyrinth. There was a fountain here. And a soft glowing light.   
"You said that someone is waiting for you, Squall," the woman said, following him. She was smiling. "You don't belong here. Not yet."   
"Rinoa! S-she is crying?"   
_I'm sorry for what I said back there at the balcony. Please. Come back to me. I do love you. I still love you. With all my heart._   
"Go to her," the woman said. She looked at the glowing white light. "And show her that you love her too. And show to Quistis what you really feel. Remember Squall. No shadows."   
Squall looked at the woman, and at the glowing white light. Then, he started to walk towards it. As he started to step through it, he heard the woman speak again.   
"And tell your father and your sister that I love them each and every day of eternity."   
Squall's eyes widened at that. She loves his father? "W-wait! A-are you--?!"   
But it was too late. The light enveloped him, and he saw nothing but whiteness again.   
  



	9. IX

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**H**is head felt light, and dazy. He remembered that the only time he felt like this was when he was in a surreal dream involving a naked dance with Ultimecia many moons ago. He woke up gasping for breath then. He wished he could wake up from this one, as well. Unfortunately, the wetness he felt on his chest as Selphie was crying on him told Irvine that what was happening was very real, however shocking it was.   
He looked to where Zell was leaning on the foot of the bed, the tightness of his grip on the metal bar on the foot of the bed apparent from the way the gloves were stretched taut. He did not need to look at Quistis and Rinoa to know just how much they hurt. The silence of the room was punctuated only by the sniffs and sobbings. If tears could be heard, then the room would've been like a market.   
Suddenly, there was an audible "dit".   
Irvine looked up at that one, unable to believe what he had just heard. Was it his imagination? If so, then everyone in the room, and near it, also shared his imagination for they, too, looked up towards the source of the sound. Dr. Kadowaki, who had been standing behind Rinoa, her hands on her shoulders as she tried to comfort the young woman, looked as if she had been stung by a bee.   
Rinoa stopped sobbing, and looked at the still motionless Squall. And then, there it was again. "Dit". This was repeated in a distinct, regular beat.   
"Oh Hyne," Quistis whispered, involuntarily putting a hand on her mouth. She, as well as everyone else, was looking at the screen of the ECG. There, in luminous white, was the unmistakable jagged lines of what used to be a flat line.   
It was silent for a moment, as if time stopped. The only sound were the regular beeps of the ECG. And then, just as suddenly, Dr. Kadowaki barked orders.   
"Someone give me a proper reading of the patient! Stats on the cardiograph! Sarah, start taking pulse counts! And will somebody tell me how long he's been clinically dead?!"   
There was a flurry of activity suddenly after that, as medical assistants tried to keep up with their superior's orders. Rinoa was still holding Squall's hands. Her pulse had quickened after Dr. Kadowaki broke the silence with her barking orders.   
"Doctor, is he...?" Irvine and Zell suddenly said in unison, taking a step towards the doctor. Their eyes showed excitement. Selphie was still clutching at Irvine, and her eyes, likewise, glowed with promise and renewed hope. A flurry of whites tried to get past them as they hurriedly tried to attend to the commander on the bed.   
"We can't be too sure," Dr. Kadowaki said.   
"B-but...the machine...the ECG," Rinoa stammered, as she turned up to look at the four. Her hands were still clasping Squall's. "Doctor...Squall's...Squall's breathing..!"   
Quistis started to walk fully inside the room now. She was silent all the time. She was afraid that if she would speak, it'll break this seeming dream she was on. _Squall's alive?_ Her heart made somersaults at the very thought.   
"We still can't be--" Dr. Kadowaki replied, turning to Rinoa.   
It was then that Sarah interrupted them. "Doctor, he was gone for five minutes and forty seconds. This is the closest estimate I can gather."   
Dr. Kadowaki let out a nervous sigh. She turned to her attendants. "O-Okay...I want constant update on his status. And continue with the IV-treatment of the ELX synthesis, although I think we should lessen the dose by 25 cc. Constant update, you hear?"   
The medical attendants nodded. Dr. Kadowaki then walked and got out a penlight as she examined Squall's eyes, one after the other. She nodded thoughtfully to herself, and let out a still nervous breath.   
"H-he's going to be alright, isn't he?" Quistis asked, for the first time since she arrived. It seemed to have been eons ago. She looked at the unconscious Squall, and still longed to reach out and brush his hair, but there was Rinoa.   
"He's still unconscious, but breathing," Dr. Kadowaki said. "I-I don't know. This can only be a miracle."   
The others let out an audible sigh of relief. For the first time in hours, they looked at each other and started to smile. Rinoa and Quistis, however, still seemed to act as if the other did not exist.   
"I won't be celebrating just yet," Dr. Kadowaki said.   
Their smiles froze. "W-what do you mean, doc?" Zell asked. "I thought you said he's gonna be alright?"   
"I only said he's breathing," Dr. Kadowaki said, turning to Zell, Irvine and Selphie. "I did not say he's gonna be alright."   
"What do you mean, Dr. Kadowaki?" Quistis asked.   
"When the human brain doesn't receive any blood circulation for four minutes, there's always the danger of a brain damage," Dr. Kadowaki said. She then shook her head subtly. "He had been out--clinically dead!--for five minutes and forty seconds. Frankly, I have never read any medical accounts chronicling someone who had been 'dead' for more than five minutes and got back unscathed. The longest was four minutes and fifty, I think...and even _she_ got partial epilepsy as a result."   
Rinoa looked back at Squall, and her lips quivered. The joy she felt a while ago disappeared at what the doctor said. The grip she had on his hand tightened.   
"H-he will wake up," Quistis said, looking at Squall's face. Her face was expressionless.   
Then, she looked at Rinoa, and her eyes seemed to flutter at the black-haired girl, as if to reassure her. Why she seemed to have felt that, she did not know. A trace of guilt, perhaps? A sense of atonement? "And when he does, he will be fine, Rinny. Just as before. Just believe that he will."   
Rinoa's eyes looked at Quistis, glassy and filmy from near tears. She wondered why things must always be so dark, just as when things had suddenly turned bright. She nodded subtly, then looked back at her love.   
"Well," Dr. Kadowaki said as she started to go out. "I don't think there's anything more I can do here. The only thing we can do now is wait until he gains consciousness."   
When the lady doctor and the medical attendants went out of the room, everything fell silent again. Student heads peered into the room, face full of curiousity, and voices buzzing like so many bees. Irvine glared at them, causing them to shrink away from the door.   
Quistis was still standing a few feet away from the bed, and Rinoa was still sitting beside the bed, her right hand holding Squall's right, and her left lovingly brushing his dark brown hair.   
"Squall...he would want you to be beside him right now," Rinoa suddenly said, breaking the uneasy silence in the air. She turned to look at the golden-haired former instructor. "Please."   
Her voice was soft, almost weary. It seemed as if all that had happened during the day had caught up with her, and she finally gave up and succumbed to everything. Rinoa was tired. That much was evident on her face and her voice.   
Quistis, confused, got a metal-backed chair and sat beside Squall's bed, opposite Rinoa. Her eyes never left the sorceress'.   
Irvine's eyes shifted from Rinoa to Quistis, narrowing. Weighing things quickly in his mind, he straightened up and cleared his throat. Wrapping his right arm on Selphie, he started to speak. "Uhm, all these excitement has made me hungry. Care for some shake, Sef..?"   
Selphie looked up at her boyfriend, visibly surprised. Her mouth started to open up to speak when she caught his eye giving her a strong, meaningful look. It was the look that always said _Trust me._   
"Y-yeah," she said, agreeing. She had no idea what Irvine had running in that mind of his right now. But she trusted him. "I could go for some Garden salad as well."   
Irvine turned to Zell. "Hey, Zell. C'mon. Let's go to the cafeteria."   
Zell looked at Irvine blankly. "Uhm...could you just get me a hotdog, Irv? And have them put in extraaahhAAAA--!"   
Irvine's grip on Zell's right arm tightened even as he gritted his teeth saying, "Why don't we go TOGETHER?"   
Zell's mouth was opened, as if he couldn't close it. "O-o-o-k-kay!"   
Irvine gave him an exaggerated smile and they went out of the room. The Galbadian's right hand was wrapped around his girlfriend's shoulder while his left hand was gripping a visibly silent protesting martial artist. The door closed behind them.   
Finally, Rinoa and Quistis were alone.   
"Rinoa..." Quistis started.   
"I'm tired, Quisty," Rinoa interrupted. "Of everything. I couldn't remember when I've cried so much in one day. Maybe the last was when my mother died. And I was so young then, I could hardly remember the pain..."   
Quistis remained silent.   
"I never thought I could cry so much again," Rinoa continued. "Today...today has been one hell of a red-letter day, hasn't it...?"   
Quistis didn't know if that was a rhetorical question she posed, or if she really wanted an answer. Instead, Quistis replied in what she thought was the only logical reply she could say now. "Rinoa, I'm sorry. For what happened between me and Squall..."   
At that, Rinoa trembled involuntarily. Quistis continued. There was no sense stopping now.   
"I have sinned too much today. I have broken too many trusts, and hearts." Quistis turned to Squall, and she couldn't hold back any more. She reached out and brushed Squall's hair lovingly and softly. She sniffed. "And now...I had almost broken Squall's life as well. Not to mention his mind..."   
"No," Rinoa said. "What happened to Squall wasn't your fault. It was mine. If I had only stopped Seifer..."   
"What happened?" Quistis asked, then. She just realized that she had no idea what happened.   
"Seifer and Squall had a fight...because of me..." Rinoa said. To others, it might have sounded as if she was boasting. But her voice was anything but that. Her voice was full of regret. "I don't know what Seifer was thinking to have done what he did. But whatever his reasons, I could never forgive him. He almost killed Squall. I could never forgive him for that."   
"Where is he now?" Quistis asked.   
"I don't know. And I don't care," Rinoa said, shaking her head. "He can be in hell, for all I care."   
They were silent after that, for a few minutes. Each with their own thoughts. And both looking at the prone figure of the man whom they shared intimacies with; one with his body, and the other with his heart.   
Rinoa, in all truth, wanted to feel angry for the woman opposite her now. She wanted to hate her. She could wish for Quistis to die right now, and she knew that she won't be a murderer in mind for thinking so. But surprisingly, she did not feel anything except tiredness. Her heart had ached enough for the day for crying too much, and her eyes had stung and reddened from too much tears. She knew that being angry was the last thing she could ever do right now. Doing so would mean more heart aches, and more tears. Right now, the only thing that mattered was that Squall was alive. No hates anymore. What about forgiveness? She did promise to whoever divine entity was watching over them this marked day that everything would be forgotten and forgiven, if only Squall would be safe. Now that that miracle had been granted, she wondered if she had spoken too soon? She caught glances at the golden-haired woman opposite her who was brushing Squall's hair. Can she ever forgive her?   
Quistis, for her part, was thinking if it was fate when she went away just as Squall was on death's throes, while Rinoa was there to be at his side all the time. If it was, then what had it meant? Was her love then just doomed to be unrequited? Was that time they shared that fateful night nothing more than just fancies of destiny? Was it just a momentary game from a fickle god? She refused to believe that something she felt so strongly could be just products from a hormonal interaction with the mood at that time. She knew that she loved Squall. She had come to terms with that. But when she thought about how she wasn't there when Squall needed help, she couldn't help but think that, maybe, she just wasn't the one for him.   
She would've been contented if she had been the one to have held Squall as he fell on the ground with the rain. She would've held her peace and acknowledge that it was really Rinoa who Squall loved if only she could've been the last face that he saw. It was not about who was acknowledged to be Squall's woman now, when she thought about it. It was about being there when the one you love with all your soul needed you the most. But that was not what happened. She went away, sitting on that train for Deling while he had been crossing blades with the Garden's most skilled fighter. She was comfortable in that seat, watching the blue sea from below that tunnel, while Squall was watching his blood spray out of his body. She loved him so much, but she had been away, by design or otherwise. It hurt to know that you've loved so much, and yet felt as if fate was against you.   
"How much do you love Squall?" Rinoa asked, finally. She turned to look at Quistis.   
The question came through unexpectedly as a knife to the ribs.   
"W-what?" Quistis asked, visibly surprised at the question.   
"I remember what you told me during the Sorceress war," Rinoa said, still in that soft, tired voice. "You said that all you had for Squall was nothing more than a fleeting schoolgirl crush. But I can see from how you stroke his hair right now, and from the way you look at him, that your love for him was greater than that. How much do you love Squall?"   
"I-if you really love Squall, Rinoa," Quistis finally replied. "Then you know just how much I feel for him."   
"I would have thought as much," Rinoa said. "I...was angry at him, and at you, for what you both did. I thought that...I could turn away and never come back. Maybe just stay at Deling, and forget about you, him, and everyone else. That was how hurt I was. We shared something special during the war. You, me, Squall, Zell...everyone..."   
"Rinoa, I..."   
"Back when all of you found out about your past in the Orphanage in Trabia Garden, I realized that all of you had been together, and there was a greater bond between all of you," Rinoa continued, not seeming to hear Quistis' interruption. "But...I did not feel left out. Because we have shared so much then. I was the only one who was not with you all in the Orphanage when we were still kids, but listening to all of you reminiscing the past, I couldn't help but feel as if I was there, too."   
Quistis held her silence.   
"I was thinking, that time, how I would have wished that I was an orphan, too, together with you all. After all, I haven't been that close to my father eversince my mother died. It would've been better of him if he just left me with the orphanage too. Then, I...would've been with Squall sooner. But," Rinoa paused, and then swallowed. "But I realized that you were there with him eversince you were very young. I don't know what to think, anymore. If we were to talk about destinies, I realized that...maybe...you and him..."   
_Are we thinking the same thing?_ Quistis realized. _Both asking fate?_   
"Rinoa...Squall...Squall loves you more." That hurt, saying that. It took everything she had not to burst out into tears again. Not that she had any to shed any more, she thought. "I should know. As you said, I had been with him when we were still young. And...I don't think I have seen him look at a woman the same way he looked at you. Rinoa...I would have wished for him to look at me the same way. But he didn't. Even after we...did what we did that night...I thought that it would be different the next day. That he would look at me with that soft look he always gives you. But he didn't. I knew then that...I only got his body, but not his heart."   
Quistis bit her lower lip after saying that. Rinoa just looked at her.   
"I love him," Quistis continued. "I cannot deny that now. If your love for him is as strong as I think it is, then you know how I feel. But this feeling I have for him amounts to nothing if he doesn't love me back. If...if I would've only seen in his eyes half of the love he felt for you that morning in that cabin, then I would've fought for him. Squall loves you, Rinny. Just you. It was foolish of me to hope otherwise."   
Quistis let out a quivering breath, as she looked at Squall's face and touched his cheek lovingly. Then, she swallowed hard. "I...I hope you can make him happy, Rinoa. More than the physical. I...have seen him grow, and I know that he has hurt for too long. And I think he deserves to be genuinely happy from now on. And I think that the only person who can make him be that is you. No one else. Not his friends here. Not me."   
Then, she looked at Rinoa. "I envy you for that."   
Rinoa just looked back at her.   
"And I hope that you can forgive me for what I did," Quistis continued. "I know that it would take me a long time to gain your trust again. But...I am willing to wait, Rinoa. For that day when you will finally say that you forgive me."   
"Quisty," Rinoa suddenly said. "I...already forgive you."   
Quistis' mouth opened a little at what she heard.   
Rinoa sniffed and looked at Squall. "Squall is alive. That is all that matters to me now. Everything else I could care less about. I've already forgiven you. I realized that after everything that has happened, we have to do something that's good, don't you think?   
"You betrayed me. But events as of late has made me realize that all of us are just betrayers one time or the other. Much as I hate to admit it, Seifer showed me that. And I, at least, know the guilt that you carried. I realized that Squall's life was put in danger because of a betrayal I made. Betrayer asking forgiveness from a betrayer. Isn't life grand? Can you fault me for forgiving you, if only to ease this guilt from myself? And I realized that you, at least, have suffered too much already. I...thank you for saying what you said about Squall loving only me. I don't know if you said that to console me, or if that was your way of saying you give up. But I, at least, know that you're sincere. So I forgive you."   
Quistis' lips quivered. "Thank you." It was barely a whisper.   
"But I don't think my trust for you now is the same as before," Rinoa suddenly added. "You were right. It would take a long time for me to trust you again. I held you close, and you stabbed me in the back. It would be naive of me to trust you as freely again."   
Quistis lowered her head, receiving the words Rinoa said to her without objection. Those were like flying razors hitting her skin. Every word was a knife that skewered her heart. But she did not defend herself. In her mind, it was the least she could do to atone for everything.   
She watched Squall's chest softly rise and fall. His breathing had gone back to normal. The colors of his cheeks were starting to come back now, and so were his lips which used to be bluish from lack of oxygen. Absentmindedly, her fingers brushed those cheeks, feeling her thumb run through the contours of his facial structure, and then to that scar which made him look even more unique. And when her thumb fell softly on his lips, she couldn't stand it anymore and stood up. She held back that familiar feeling of lump on her throat.   
With that movement, Rinoa looked at the former instructor. Her face was still guarded and expressionless. But her eyes were asking a question.   
Quistis started to walk away. After two steps, she stopped. She hesitated, as if turning around. In the end, she just turned sideways, and looked at her dark-haired companion. How she wished she could still call her a 'close friend' without hesitation. But she knew that that would come, if she'd just be patient. In time, maybe Rinoa would learn to trust her as she used to. Maybe, if she would just wait, Rinoa would smile at her sincerely and tell her that everything has been fully forgiven. _Maybe._   
"The only thing I want is for Squall to be well, and happy." Quistis said. "I love him, as a boy, as a student, and as a man. I have always loved him, and I have tried to get through that cold shell he had encased around himself for a long time now. But only you managed to fully warm him. Only you had managed to make him feel the wonderful joy of genuinely smiling. And only you had made him fully love someone again. Rinny, please...whatever happens, be with him always. He needs you. He has always needed you."   
With that, Quistis walked towards the door and finally went outside. The last thing Rinoa heard was the resounding click of the door, and then silence.   
Outside, Quistis let out a deep breath and leaned heavily on the door. She had been trying to maintain a semblance of composure and calmness inside the ICU room. She had to show to Rinoa that she had gotten over everything, and that she was prepared for anything Rinoa might say. She had to show her how sorry she had been, when she apologized. It had been her way of strengthening herself, as well.   
Now, however, she was out of the room. And suddenly, she put her hands on her face and burst out into tears. She had just realized what she had done. She had just finally given up Squall to Rinoa.   
  
When Xu heard that her best friend had returned together with the two SeeDs, she immediately excused herself from the meeting going on in Cid's office and immediately headed towards the elevator and pressed the button to the main floor. She knew only too well where she would find her.   
It turned out that she didn't have to go far, after all. Right before she was to turn the corridor which led to the medical facility of the Garden, she spied the familiar golden hair and beautiful face of her long-time friend. She was quite surprised to find her walking in these halls in an entirely casual attire, however, what with her gold hair tied to a ponytail and that loose pink sweatshirt. And it looked like she was crying, or had just cried.   
Immediately, she ran to her, arms outstretched.   
"Quisty!" Xu exclaimed, visibly relieved, as she embraced her friend tightly. Quistis buried her chin on her friend's shoulder, hugging her friend back with as much passion.   
"Xu..."   
Letting go, Xu held her friend at an arm's length, and studied her. She was right. She had just cried. Quistis noticed Xu frowning a bit, no doubt concerned, and she hastily wiped away residual tears from her cheek. Quistis tried to give her friend a reassuring smile.   
"I can't believe you..." Xu shook her head, closing her eyes empathically. "Why did you quit? For the love of Hyne, Quisty! You can't quit!"   
"I...I just did, Xu..." Quisty said. Her eyebrows were lowered in that subtle sad look.   
"And what was this?" Xu said, frowning. She held up the letter Quistis left for her. "Is this the extent of what our friendship has been? Just a letter telling me when you'll go away? Damn it, Quisty! You could have at least told this to me face to face! Not an expressionless piece of stationery paper!"   
Quistis lowered her head. Her hands were wrenching the front of her extra-large sweatshirt anxiously. Xu had never been one to get angry easily. But now, she thought she could hear a touch of anger in her voice. And a considerable amount of pain and hurt. "I-I'm sorry..."   
"You're damn right to be sorry!" Xu said, crossing her arms. Then, her frown disappeared amd her face softened reproachfully. "Look, Quisty...look at me."   
Quistis looked up sadly to face her friend.   
"For years, you have always confided in me," Xu said. "All your problems, and all your secrets. Has that trust gone away?"   
"No!" Quistis said. "Xu, you know I still consider you my closest friend. But there are things which we just have to keep for ourselves. Please understand that!"   
"What I don't understand," Xu said. "Is why you had to go away without telling me personally. Where you were headed. What your reason was. Quisty, what could be so painful that you had to keep it all to yourself?"   
"I'm sorry, but it's too personal to tell anyone right now, Xu," Quisty said. "Even you. The fact is....Rinoa and I had a fight concerning Squall. She got extremely jealous, and..."   
"...she slapped you in front of your class," Xu finished.   
Quistis' eyes widened. "Y-you knew?"   
"Yes," Xu said. "But what did you do for her to bristle in anger like that? Everyone knows that Rinoa's not the kind to get hysterically angry at anyone, much less a friend of hers."   
Quistis remained silent. How could she tell her that she wasn't sure if she was even worthy of the title 'friend' anymore? She unconsciously held her left arm with her hand, rubbing it up and down.   
"Rinoa and I just talked," Quistis said, evading the question. "And she said that she forgave me. Hyne, Xu...if you only knew how many trusts I've destroyed the past few days, I doubt if you'll trust me enough anymore..."   
"If you won't tell me, Quisty, maybe I won't..." Xu said.   
At that, Quistis looked straight into her best friend's eyes. "Oh no! Please Xu! I...I will tell you soon...I just don't know when...or how...but..Xu...please...I need you more th--"   
Xu smiled and reached out to hug her friend again, softly patting her consolingly in the back. "Don't be silly, you fool! Of course I'll always trust you. I'll wait until you're ready."   
It took the brown-haired Instructor a moment to realize that her friend was crying then. She let go again, and looked sympathetically with her friend. Taking out a clean blue handkerchief, she handed it to her friend. "Here. Hyne, Quisty. I don't think I've ever seen you as emotionally wrecked before."   
Quistis wiped away tears from her eyes with the handkerchief. Then, she just remembered where she was about to head in the first place. "Xu? W-where is Seifer?"   
"Seifer?!" Xu asked, visibly surprised at that question. "Why are you looking for Seifer?"   
"I just need to ask him a few questions," Quistis said. "About why he did that to Squall."   
Xu turned silent for a moment, looking down hesitatingly.   
"Xu?" Quistis asked again.   
"S-Seifer's in the Garden holding area," Xu said. "Listen, Quisty...I need to tell you something..."   
"About?"   
"I...know that Seifer's one of your students...I mean _former_ students, and that you've grown quite 'attached' to him teacher-wise," Xu said. "And I remember you telling me that whatever happens, you will try and help Seifer curb his authority and disciplinary problem..."   
"Xu," Quistis said. "That's part of the reason why I had to talk to him. I know how much of a pain Seifer was, but he was never one to seriously injure someone to the point of killing him. I had to ask him why he did that now."   
"Quisty," Xu said. "The board of Instructors has decided..."   
Quistis waited for her friend to continue. Xu looked at her friend. There was visible hesitation in her eyes. She debated on whether she would tell Quistis this. She knew only full well that Quistis took it upon herself to be the one to help Seifer curb his errant ways.   
Quistis had been pretty much patient with Seifer where most of the Instructors had already pretty much ripped out their hair in frustration. Maybe it was the recently known fact that they had grown up together in that Orphanage managed by Cid's wife. In any case, Quistis took special notice of Seifer from among her students now.   
And now, she didn't know how to tell her this. She drew a deep breath before proceeding. "They have decided to charge him with Article 89."   
Quistis gasped. "A-article 89?! The maximum penalty? Execution?!"   
Xu nodded.   
"That's ridiculous!" Quistis almost shouted. She was trembling. "Nobody in the history of the Garden has been charged with such extreme measure before!"   
"They said he betrayed the Garden, and called him a traitor for what happened to Squall," Xu said. Her face was torn. She was about to say something more when Quistis interrupted her.   
"But even treason doesn't call for such a punishment! Look at what he did during the Sorceress war! That was technically treason, and he wasn't charged with execution!"   
"T-there was also something else," Xu said. She hesitated, and then continued. "One that mandated death. They have also charged him with murder. Of a respected Garden commander. Squall."   
  



	10. X

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**"H**eadmaster!"   
Quistis practically stormed into the room, eyes blazing in fury, and face flushed in mixed indignation and disbelief. She found Cid hunched over on his large oak desk. By the sides were seated the Board of Garden Directors; fifteen instructors who had quite a pull on the Garden. It was they who decide most of the matters directly concerning the Garden. When Quistis barged in unannounced, some of them practically jumped out of their seats.   
She knew it was highly rude of her to interrupt a Board meeting. She knew that an instructor who does so runs the risk of suspension coupled with a harsh lecture. Some of the Members of the Board had been her instructor when she was still training as a SeeD cadet, and she knew firsthand how stiff they can be. Right now, however, she hardly paid any attention to them, nor felt the slightest bit of trepidation. She had, after all, resigned her post as a SeeD and an instructor. The thought never entered her mind that civilians were strictly forbidden to enter the Headmaster's office unannounced, much less interrupt a meeting.   
From her expression now, however, any figure of authority would think twice putting her in her place.   
"Instr-, I mean, Ms. Trepe!" Cid said, greeting her with a smile. He partly stood up. "We have heard that you've returned!"   
"What was this I heard about Seifer, Headmaster?" Quistis said, cutting straight to the point. She placed her hands squarely on the table, leaning forward intimidatingly. She did not mean to, of course.   
"Look, Ms. Trepe," Cid said, letting out a breath. "The Bo-"   
"Execution?!" Quistis practically shouted. "Headmaster, in all the history of Balamb Garden, no one has ever been executed before! No one! And you're starting with Seifer?!"   
"Ms. Trepe!" Instructor Myriam Devensor said curtly. She was forty-nine years old, and was widely known as one of Garden's most strict instructors. She had become some sort of a whispered feared figure, with tales of horrendous exams and sharp lectures. Freshmen were often warned about her first among the others. Cadets loathed her as much as they loved Quistis.   
Quistis turned to face the older woman. Her eyes were still narrowed slightly. Before, she used to fear Devensor even after she had become an instructor. Now, however, she stood her ground.   
"May I remind you that your presence here is not allowed in the first place." The olden woman's voice was sharp and to the point.   
"I am only tryi--!" Quistis started.   
"You are no longer a part of the Garden faculty and staff," Devensor interrupted. "Or have you forgotten you just tendered your resignation this morning?"   
"Please, please!" Cid said, calming the tension. "Everyone of us here is a civilized person. There is no need to exchange acerbic remarks!"   
"With all due respect, Headmaster..." Devensor started. She was stopped by a hand raised partly by Cid, however, and a slight glare. The woman curtly pursed back her lips.   
Cid let out a breath, and then turned back to Quistis. "Look, Ms. Trepe, I know how you feel about the decision. I, myself, do not want any such things to happen-"   
"Then don't!" Quistis interrupted. Her face then turned on a pleading look. "Please, Headmaster! I know Seifer can be such a pain in everyone's side-"   
"The understatement of the year," Rift Sindai, a thirty-something year old instructor murmured. Last semester, it was rumoured that he and Seifer had a heated discussion match in his class about Guardian Forces, with Seifer saying that GFs can be physically destroyed by any human being. Eversince then, Seifer had been giving him more problems in class.   
Quistis gave him a glare, which silenced the instructor. She turned back to Cid. "But he's not intrinsically bad! He's just...misunderstood, and he just needs someone to reach out to him."   
"But this is not about Seifer Almasy being bad, or good, or just being a pain in the head," Cid said. "This time, it's serious. This is not some minor Garden rule violation anymore. We are talking about treason and murder!"   
"Seifer wasn't being a traitor!" Quistis defended. "And Squall is alive! How can that be murder when he's lying there in bed unconscious but breathing?! You see, Squall wasn't killed by Seifer! There's no sense invoking Article 89 on him!"   
"Almasy did kill Commander Leonheart," Devensor said. "For five minutes and forty-five seconds. Dr. Kadowaki said so. It's there, for the record. Seifer Almsy inflicted serious injury which caused Commander Leonheart to be clinically dead for five minutes and forty-five seconds. It was by pure miracle only that Commander Leonheart was brought back to life. How, is not the question. The fact is, and it still stands, that Almasy injured Leonheart with the intent to kill, and succeeded! He technically committed murder."   
"This...this is RIDICULOUS!" Quistis said, burning in outrage. "You're executing a student of mine because of a TECHNICALITY?!"   
"Correction, Ms. Trepe," Devensor said calmly. "_Former_ student."   
"Headmaster," Quistis said turning back to the Garden founder. "You're not seriously believing this, are you?! I mean...a technicality? Squall is alive! That's all that matters."   
"Look, Ms. Trepe," Cid said. "I know how passionate you are with your former students, and that for years now, you've been trying hard to reform Seifer Almasy from his childish and hardheaded ways, but what happened was just too extreme even for Almasy to commit. The Board has decided that examples must be set."   
"The Headmaster is right," Leo Ramuo, one of the instructors said. Although he was widely known as a very good and merciful teacher in the Garden, his face showed that they had no choice in this particular matter. "There are rules which serve as the foundation for the Garden's continued existence and organization. If we pardon Almasy now, then we would have to be lenient to other serious transgressions and transgressors as well. And we can't have that. For too long, the Garden has long been a symbol of strict discipline and justice. And Almasy just spits at those ideals."   
"Justice?!" Quistis remarked incredously. "Where's the justice in executing someone without a fair trial?! Where's the justice in just passing judgment over someone without even hearing his side of the story?!"   
"And what's there to hear?" Erno Oreta, an instructor teaching basic field leadership asked. He was a competent instructor, and was known for being stern and hard during lectures. He was also known for having punched Seifer in the face after the blond-haired gunblader decided that his class was too boring, and stated that fact out loud. "We all know that he did it. The facts are there plain as day. No. We have decided that Seifer Almasy must finally be punished. It was bad enough that we took him in after that war with Ultimecia. He practically gave Balamb Garden a bad reputation! Not to mention sully the reputation of SeeDs..."   
"And what's the difference between what Seifer did and what Galbadia Garden did to us then?" Quistis asked back. "Seifer did not betray us to Ultimecia. He, like everyone else at that time, was just a pawn for Ultimecia's plan to compress time. You cannot fault him for that!"   
"Still, Almasy has done a grave crime unfitting of one who will become a SeeD," Adam Gates stated with a sense of finality. He was a bespectacled nerdy-looking person who hid a stern and authoritarian mind behind those glasses. It was not a secret, either, that sometime months ago, Seifer practically walked out of his class when he reprimanded him for not following the rules during field assignments. Seifer was suspended for a week after that. "We have rules and we should carry them out."   
"I can't believe you all," Quistis said, looking at everyone of the Board instructors. "The fact is that Seifer has long been giving most of you problems. And now that you think he has finally done something which you think would be enough to bring him down, you snatched it up. You're making this as an excuse to finally put Seifer away for good. This had become a personal vendetta. And to think that I used to respect you all as honorable instructors worth emulating."   
"That's enough!" Devensor said, standing up, her face red with rage. "Almasy is nothing but a disgrace to Balamb Garden's reputation! He refuses to be under any authority, and he mocks the rules we have set in our respective classes! Most of all, he has betrayed this very institution by aiding Ultimecia which almost brought this world to destruction! I cannot see any reason whatsoever to let him continue to spit on us! This is nothing personal. We are just doing what we have to do by Garden laws! And you, young woman, has long stepped past your bounds! You are no longer an instructor and a member of this Garden, but a civilian. And I, for one, do not want a common citizen to tell me what and what not to decide!"   
"Enough!" Cid shouted. The whole room fell silent. Cid, eyes uncharacteristically hard behind those glasses, turned to Quistis. "Trepe, you know how much respect I have of you. Please, don't make me lose that respect. There is nothing we can do about Almasy's case now."   
"You're wrong, Headmaster," Quistis said, eyes as determined as his was hard. "Article 92, Section 3. 'A Garden cadet who has incurred the maximum penalty by the transgressions stated in Article 85 can still have the benefit of a Trial By Pleading as stated by Garden law if and only if a respected and duly recognized Garden faculty will plead on his or her behalf. If such a privilege has been invoked, both the Pleadee and the Prosecutor will be asked to state their cases in front of the Garden Headmaster, who will henceforth be the sole and only Judge of the trial.'"   
She heard Devensor let out a curt chuckle. "I don't think any senior instructor would want to plead on his behalf right now. Or any instructor, for that matter."   
"She is right, Trepe," Cid said. "Where do you suppose we should find someone who will plead for him?"   
"You're looking at her," Quistis said after which she took the letter of resignation which was still in Cid's desk and ripped it apart. "You said so yourself this morning, Headmaster. If, at anytime, I would decide to come back, all I have to do is come here and ask you. Instructor Trepe reporting for duty, sir!"   
"This is ridicu--!" Devensor stood up, objecting. The disbelief in her face was utter and plain.   
"I hereby invoke Article 92, Section 3 of the Garden Code of Laws and plead on behalf of my student, Seifer Almasy, who is currently being charged with Treason and Murder," Quistis said, not bothering to let Devensor continue. "If by the end of the trial my student-defendant will be found guilty of any of the charges, I will hereby submit to the Judge's decision, and will tender my resignation." She would have wanted to say "again", but stopped herself just in time.   
"Headmaster!" Devensor sputtered. "Y-you can't possibly be considering her proposal to come back?! It's unpermissible! The Code of Laws clearly states that a faculty member who has formally tendered--!"   
"Very well," Cid said, looking at Quistis. "I did say that I will welcome you back gratefully. I grant your request for a Trial by Pleading, Instructor Trepe."   
"But Headmast--!"   
"And since you're so adamant on this, Instructor Devensor," Cid said. "You will be the Prosecutor."   
Myriam Devensor's jaw tightened with abvious anger. But there was nothing she could do. The Headmaster had already decided. "Very well. I accept."   
"The trial will start two days from now," Cid said. "I suggest that you both ready your case by then. That's all. Dismissed."   
Quistis turned around and was about to follow the other Board members who had already gone out of the door when Cid called her name.   
"Instructor Trepe," Cid asked.   
Quistis turned around. "Yes, Headmaster?"   
"I took a great risk letting you do this," Cid said. "Show me that Seifer Almasy is worth it."   
Quistis nodded. She was about to turn around when Cid called her again.   
"And Instructor?" Cid paused for a while, and then smiled. "Welcome back."   
  
The Garden holding cell was about the size of a dormitory room, except without the luxuries of one. The only furnishings it had were a medium-sized bed, a small automized sink, one metal-back chair, and a toilet. The silence was so pervading that it was the only thing you could hear.   
Not that it mattered to Seifer right now, as he sat on his bed, with his back on the wall. The tattered and bloodied trenchcoat was strewn on the floor beside the opposite wall. His eyes fell on it, seeing the white mix with red. Blood. Squall's blood. And some of it were his, as well. An idle thought strayed into his mind. That those blood of theirs once flowed through their respective hearts. The same hearts which loved Rinoa. He did not regret what he did to Squall. The idiot deserved it for what he did. He shouldn't have made her cry like that. He shouldn't have made her love him like that, only to hurt her. Rinoa was too good for Squall. That was what he thought. Hyne, even after all this time, Seifer realized that he still loved her! The thought made him uncomfortable, although he had to admit that it was a somewhat good feeling to go back to being that person again if even for a while. But he was a man who had decided that living by the dictates of your emotions was as dangerous as walking on a thin line between two high places. And now, in the rhythmic silence of the room, the cynical and arrogant Seifer slowly clawed its way back into his psyche. Rinoa's crying face as she told him that she will never forgive him ever attacked his mind over and over again.   
He heard the cell door slide open.   
"Seifer..."   
The woman's voice was unmistakable. He had heard it everyday of his life. Resting the back of his head to the the white-washed metal wall, he let out a chuckle which he knew annoyed her to no end, although she never seemed to show it. He looked sideways towards the door and saw Quistis standing there, still in her casual clothes. He gave her a look-over up and down, and his face showed that characteristic smirk again.   
"Well, well, Instructor," Seifer said, letting out a mocking whistle. "Looking good this afternoon. Is this supposed to be a dating call? I'm sorry, but right now, I'm kinda...grounded."   
"Shut up, Seifer," Quistis said. Her gaze fell on the bloody trenchcoat and she swallowed a bit. "Goodness..."   
Seifer followed Quistis' gaze and he let out another suppressed laugh. "We just had a...sort of little scuffle with your precious Leonheart."   
Trying to maintain her composure, Quistis slowly got the chair and sat it beside the bed. Seifer still eyed her in that completely distrustful and somewhat arrogant manner which she always receive from him. It did not faze her, naturally. All those years of having to patiently bear with him in her quest to at least understand this student had made her somewhat immune by those stares. As well as his smart-ass quips and stinging remarks.   
"What are you doing here, Instructor?" Seifer finally asked. The smirk was gone from his face but that annoying and totally bullish behavior still pervaded his tone. "Is this some kind of way for you to try and 'understand' what I did? Huh? Is that it? Are you playing the part of the 'I would like to understand you more, Seifer' instructor again?"   
"I'm here to help you," Quistis said.   
Seifer let out a hoarse laugh. "Always playing the kind and understanding instructor to her student, aren't you Instructor? Well, guess what? I don't need your help. Or anyone else's, for that matter."   
"Damn it, Seifer," Quistis sighed. "Don't be a bastard just for this time, please? I'm trying to save your neck here. Just...for once, cut out with the sarcasm, please?"   
Seifer just looked at her.   
"The Board decided that for what you did to Squall, you should be executed," Quistis explained. "The charges are treason and murder."   
Seifer repositioned himself so that he was sitting on the bed properly, facing Quistis. His elbows were placed on his thighs, his head lowered, looking at the floor. He was silent for a while, and Quistis did not interrupt him. Then, softly at first and then, steadily growing, Seifer laughed. Quistis looked at him, wondering if he had gone more mad than the usual.   
Seifer got up, still in that low laugh. He walked to the far side of the small room, and leaned on the wall with his left hand. "They were finally getting into it, huh? They finally got what they wanted. They had me where they want me. I have always known that instructors are nothing more than bastards and bitches just waiting for you to make a serious mistake so they can pounce on you like a jungle cat. Hahahaha..."   
"Seifer, please liste-" Quistis started to say, but Seifer interrupted her just by looking at her. Just by that gaze, she stopped in mid-speak.   
"I suppose you're just aching for me to croak too, aren't you?" Seifer asked. His face slowly started to form that smirk again. "After all, it was your object of affection I carved up."   
Quistis tried her best not to run to him and slap that smirk off his face. For a fraction of a second, she thought about retracting what she said to Cid. She looked at Seifer now, and she wondered why she was taking so much time trying to understand him, being the bastard that he was. And why she was taking all this trouble just to save his arrogant head. Maybe the other instructors were right, after all? Maybe Seifer just won't change, no matter how hard she tried to get into him?   
"And I'll bet Rinoa's just _dying_ to hear this too, as well," Seifer continued, still smirking. He let out another laugh, as if amused by the pun he made.   
She looked at Seifer, and at his smirk. She looked at that scar which seemed to make his smirk even more irritating. And then, she looked at his eyes. And it was then that she saw something.   
It was the same thing she saw in Rinoa's eyes when she confronted her in her classroom that morning. From all the things that had happened as of late, this thing had been so prevalent that she only had to look at it, and recognize it right away. It was the look of hurt and pain from someone who had been betrayed, as well. It was the look of someone who had loved, but was rejected. Seifer was a better actor than she ever was, of course. He had carefully hidden his pain behind that mask of arrogance and self-haughtiness, while she had spent most of the day crying it out of her system. It was a pain that gnawed at a person's heart, and Seifer had buried it deep inside himself like so many emotions he had in the past. And covered it with another shell of devil-may-care attitude.   
"Seifer, what happened?" she found herself asking him. For the first time since she knew him, she saw that expression in his eyes. And for the first time, she saw Seifer as something more than a student who always had a problem with authority. The look in his eyes made him human.   
Seifer looked at her, as if wondering why the hell she asked that. He crossed his arms, but he still remained silent.   
"Seifer, please. Why did you do that to Squall?" Quistis asked again. "What could've made you so angry at him that you're willing to risk everything?"   
Still, Seifer did not respond.   
"Does this have something to do with Rinoa?" Quistis posed. She remembered that the expression in his eyes changed after he mentioned Rinoa. She was taking a chance with this line of questioning, but she had to know. If this was something to do with Rinoa and Squall, could this have something to do with her, as well? Seifer did mention a moment ago about her 'object of affection', and she knew that it was none other than Squall. How much did Seifer know? Hyne, this was haunting her again and again. She saw Seifer flinch.   
"I'm right, then," Quistis said. "So this has something to do with Rinoa. And Squall."   
"What are you?! A goddamn psychologist?!" Seifer suddenly snapped at her, angry. "Don't presume you know things, Instructor! Especially things concerning me! What happened to Leonheart and me is none of your fucking business!"   
"I'm trying to help you!" Quistis said.   
"I don't need your goddamn help!" Seifer shot back. "Save it for those other pussy students of yours! I can manage fine by my own!"   
"Damn you!" Quistis suddenly stood up, hurt by what he said. "I'm sticking my head out for you so I could save your sorry life and this is how you react?!"   
Seifer looked at her as if she'd gone insane.   
"Did they tell you that I resigned being an Instructor this morning?!" Quistis continued. For a minute, it looked as if she was about to cry, but her eyes shouted anger and indignation. "And did they tell you that I was on my way out of this damn place when I heard that you practically killed Squall? That was why I came back! And then Xu told me that the Board's decided they're better off with you dead because of what you did. But what did I do?! I was being stupid and I told Cid I was going to plead for your behalf! I swallowed my pride and took back my resignation so I could help you get out of this damn situation you got yourself into. And now I ask what happened, and you answer me in that fashion?! Damn it, Seifer! Why don't you stop being an idiot and realize that someone here is willing to help you?!"   
Seifer, arms crossed and leaning on the wall, looked down, silent. For the briefest of moments, Quistis could've sworn that Seifer looked apologetic. But then, he suddenly wiped away that expression on his face and he looked away. He was not smirking now, or anything. He was just being...human.   
"You wouldn't understand," Seifer said. His voice became low. "They wouldn't understand. I could care less if they'll have me executed right now. What I did to Leonheart I did out of something I believed in. He had no right to do that to her. He was being stupid, and I had to show him that she was worth everything. There was no other way for me to make him see that."   
"'She'?" Quistis asked. "Rinoa?"   
Seifer did not reply, but went on.   
"When she cried after their fight in the balcony, I felt her pain. In a way, a small part of me was hoping that maybe, after what I did to Leonheart, she would be grateful. And then, maybe, she would take me back. Of course I realized that it was stupid. But even after all she had done to me in the past, I still felt that I had to defend her honor. So, I challenged Leonheart to a fight. After everything, when I saw her kneeling there cradling Leonheart, I asked for her forgiveness, but her eyes were cold. She was the only one I have asked for forgiveness before. No one else. And her eyes were cold to me. That was the only thing I regretted today. When I asked for her forgiveness."   
"Seifer, I'm sorry..." Quistis said. She wanted to walk toward him, but she held herself back.   
"So you see, Instructor," Seifer said, finally looking back at her. His face slowly turned back to being cold and hard. "I never regretted doing that to Leonheart. He was being a stupid bastard, and I wanted to put him in his place."   
"But you're being charged with murder, Seifer," Quistis said. "By a technicality! Squall was dead for about four minutes but came back to life."   
"I always knew he was a stubborn bastard," Seifer said.   
Again, Quistis restrained the urge to slap him. Instead, she tried to remain level-headed. She knew that if she let her personal feelings for Squall in, it would only complicate matters. And she wouldn't be any different from Myriam Devensor and those other instructors who want Seifer dead because he was always defying them. "Seifer, we could plead temporary insanity. That would save you from the maximum penalty. Besides, technically, you weren't being yourself at that time. You became too soft-hearted for Rinoa. And that was vastly different from the arrogant and selfish Seifer everyone in Garden knew."   
At this, Seifer turned around and growled at her, suddenly angry. "No! I will never do that! How many times must I tell you that I meant what I did to Leonheart?! If you think I'm going to just turn over and play insane just to save my hide when in fact, I am full well aware of what happened, think again, Instructor! That would be like saying I was sorry for what I did! And I am not!"   
"Damn it Seifer! That's the only way I can help you!" Quistis protested. "Stop being so blockheaded that you can't think straight!"   
"I did not ask for your help!" Seifer shot back. "I know what you're thinking, Instructor. You think that it's your fault I became like this. I know you think that you could've helped me, by trying to understand me. What did you expect? That maybe I'll trust you and pour out my problems to you? Is that it?"   
Quistis tried to look away. "Seifer, I know you don't trust me. But...I really want to help you."   
Seifer turned away, and looked outside the cell, through the nothingness of the corridor of the Garden Cell Area. "If it makes you feel any better, Instructor, I don't trust anyone. So don't take it personally. I don't need anyone else's help. You think that you could've helped me become like the others? Look at them. Running around and clinging to everyone else. What happens when those people they cling to are gone? What happens if they leave you, after they tire of you? You'll be nothing more than a shell of shattered hopes.   
"People are natural-born dominators, Instructor. They expect you to follow them, just because they think they know better, or are better. Instructors like you relish on the authority you have on the students. Well, I'm not like the other students. If they think they can impose on me their beliefs, they're wrong. They're here to teach, and not dominate."   
Seifer turned to face her, then. His face is still set in that stubborn manner. There was no trace of any other emotion.   
"But people being dominating means that this is gonna be a dog-eat-dog world, no matter how hard you try to think it otherwise. Ultimecia proved to me this. If you want to be feared by others, you have to be strong. That way, they won't try and dominate you. They can't lead you around, like a dog on a leash."   
"You can't go on on that belief forever," Quistis said. "You need other people. Look at Fujin and Raijin...they've always been with you..."   
"But that does not mean that I trust them," Seifer said. "Although I have to admit that I allow them to be close than the others, I trust them no more than I trust everyone else. And that is to say, no. Trusting people is a dangerous thing, Instructor. I should know. I've been there."   
Up until now, Quistis realized that she still hadn't known Seifer that much. Not that she can blame herself for being so. After all, Seifer had just told her that he was voluntarily shutting himself from everyone else all this time. And it just struck Quistis now just how much Seifer and Squall had so much in common. Was that partly why she seemed to be so concerned about him? Not that she felt anything for him in a romantic sense, like she did for Squall. Maybe it was just her to be so curiously attracted to men with masked feelings.   
From the way Seifer was talking right now, she could feel that his bitterness was something that stemmed from experience. After all, he did say that he'd been there. When she thought about it now, there was a slight difference of cynicism to him from when he was still in his teens and now. It was as if something happened along those lines which caused him to make his views turn for the worse. Seifer has always been a cynical, arrogant cadet. But he was seldom bitter. Until now.   
"So you see, Instructor," Seifer said. "You can stop feeling guilty about how you could've helped me before. No matter how hard you might've tried, you still won't be able to earn my trust. Because I have none to give. And you can stop trying to help me, because I don't want any."   
"They're going to kill you for this one, Seifer," Quistis said, her eyes narrowing as she looked up at him. "And I'm here to save you, whether you like it or not."   
Seifer looked at her in that patronizing manner. It was one of Seifer's most formidable weapons for irritating instructors. He smirked again.   
"I have been damned long enough by everyone, Instructor." Seifer held up his hand and brushed Quistis' cheek softly. He was still grinning annoyingly. "And not even an angel can help me now."   
Quistis' eyes narrowed stubbornly again, trying to match Seifer's patronizing smirk with her own determinedness. Damned if she was going to back down! "Look Seifer. You may think you may not need my help. But if you think I'm just going to let all this trouble of having to take back my resignation and face up to Devensor and the Board members a while ago pleading for your life go to waste, you have another thought coming. I'm going to be here tomorrow, trying to build up our case, and I'll have your cooperation even if I'll have to wrench your arm to do it!"   
"My, my," Seifer snickered. "I did not realize how pretty you can be when you're angry, Instructor."   
"Hmp!" Quistis said, as she turned around and pressed a button to signal the SeeD guard that she's finished. When the door was opened, she stepped out. She took one last glance at Seifer. He was still there, leaning on the wall, his arms still crossed. And he was smirking at her still.   
Quistis, then, let out another snort of contempt before walking away.   
_Hah! Angel, indeed!_   
  



	11. XI

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**T**he news spread like wildfire the next morning. The whole of the Garden was abuzz with the recent development of events. For the first time since Balamb Garden history, a Trial by Pleading was going to take place. More controversial was the fact that the Pleadee was none other than Seifer Almasy, the token black sheep (or wolf, depending on who might look at it) of the whole of the Garden. The fact that it was Instructor Quistis Trepe herself who invoked the privilege seemed to fuel the rumor mill more. It was widely rumored that she had resigned the day before, but had come back specifically to represent Seifer. There were some whispers that she may be feeling something to the romantic nature for the former Sorceress' Knight.   
If there was one thing that Quistis, at least, felt grateful for this day, it was the fact that she didn't have to wrench Seifer's arm for cooperation. Not that the insolent gunblader was any more cooperative than, say, a block of stone. She was rattling things off to him, telling him what would happen on the trial tomorrow. At least, what she _thought_ would happen. After all, no Trial by Pleading had been done in Balamb Garden until now. Everything had been laid out in the Garden Instructor manual as to the procedure of the trial. She had memorized every important bit. Now, all she had to do was live it out. She had been preparing what pointers she had to say to Seifer the night before. But right now, all Seifer had to say was "Uh-huh" repeated every time she punctuated while he was sitting on his bed in the same position she found him yesterday. His face was as disinterested as a fisherman being explained the workings of a hydraulics engine.   
"As the one pleading, the prosecutor will put you to the stand last," Quistis briefed. "You will be extensively questioned."   
"Uh-huh."   
"Devensor will do her best to get into you, Seifer," Quistis continued. "Whatever you do, don't let her, you understand?"   
"Uh-huh."   
"I know how hot-headed you can be, and that is your weakness," Quistis warned. "She will exploit that."   
"Uh-huh."   
"Remember that this trial is our only chance of getting you off the hook. It's a special case, a last resort all people charged with capital punishment can hope to be cleared," Quistis said. Her face showed a bit of exasperation now. "This is a privilege for you. A last one. If you botched this up, there can be no hope of pardon for you. Do you get that?"   
"Uh-huh."   
"Damn it Seifer! Are you even listening to me?"   
"Uh-huh." Now, however, he also added in a bland look.   
"Look! This is not a game, Seifer," Quistis said. It amazed her how she could be so patient with this blockheaded idiot. "This is serious. Your life hangs on this. Remember that if we lose, I won't be affected much. I may lose my job, but I was resigning anyway. You, however, will lose your life!"   
Seifer looked at her strangely for a moment, as if she had grown an extra head. Then, he said, "Uh-huh."   
Quistis rolled her eyes and threw back her hand in defeat.   
Two hours later, she went out of his cell, tired and a little bit frustrated. Seifer did not say much during the three hours she had briefed him. Except for constant "Uh-huh"s and random bits of "I understand". There were instances where his eyes were raised in a look of skepticism at her. By what, she didn't know. And she did not bother to ask. She still had much to do today. The trial was going to be held tomorrow. And it will only last for one day. Trial by Pleadings were, by rule, supposed to last in one sitting. Both the Pleadee and the Prosecutor were given chances to present their witnesses, arguments and rebuttals. It was very different from a criminal trial. It seemed more to be a mixture of a common trial and a debate. Seifer's head hung on her powers of persuasion and eloquence, literally. There was only the decision of the headmaster.   
In that case, she supposed that she should count herself lucky. A trial by jury would mean that it would be a selection from among Garden cadets and faculty. There should be an equal amount of both. Not that it would matter, anyway. Seifer wasn't exactly the most loved of the Garden cadets. She would wager that a jury of his peer or otherwise would be more than happy to see him meet his maker.   
Headmaster Cid, at least, would be impartial. Or she hoped that he would be. As stated by the book, a headmaster should be unbiased when overseeing any trial on which he or she would be assigned to moderate. Quistis had trust on Cid. She knew that he was one to be fair. Although she knew that Cid would've approved on Seifer's execution yesterday if she hadn't barged in like that, she also knew that this wouldn't let him cloud his judgment tomorrow.   
_Hyne_, she thought, _Don't let him be biased tomorrow._   
  
"Please Zell," Quistis pleaded. "Testify tomorrow. Seifer's life depends on it."   
They were sitting on the cafeteria on a table apart from the rest. It was lunch, but Quistis barely touched her food of fried Balamb fish and fried potatoes. She could feel the gazes of some of the students gathered there, taking their lunch. She could hear their voices, audibly subdued; but couldn't make out what they were saying. But she did not care. They could talk about her and look at her for as long as they want, but she had no intention of leaving the table until the blond martial artist sitting across her would finally relent.   
Zell, for his part, was heartilly eating his third batch of hotdogs, and milk shake. Half an hour ago, he saw Quistis approach her. And by the look on her face, he already knew that she wanted something from him. He already knew what those serious expressions mean. It was the same expression Iris usually wore whenever they're shopping at Deling City. Too often, he also knew that it'd be something he would not usually approve. He was tired of being right again.   
"Quisty, I know how much you care for Seifer as your student," Zell whispered after putting a sliced bit of hotdog on his mouth. "Hell, he was an asshole but I don't want him to die myself. But the fact is I was there when he slashed Squall with his gunblade! If, for anything, I'm the last person you should ask to testify for him!"   
"That's just it, Zell," Quisty said. Her voice was still begging. "You're the perfect person to say that Seifer wasn't his own self when he did that to Squall!"   
"You're pleading insanity," Zell said. It was a statement, not a question.   
"Temporary insanity," Quisty corrected. "And it's the truth. Seifer was too cropped up in his emotions that time that he snapped, in a sense."   
"If this weren't so serious, I'd be laughing at that defense, Quisty," Zell said. "In my opinion, Seifer's already crazy, with or without emotional prodding."   
Quistis did not reply.   
"What did Seifer say about this?" Zell asked, drinking his shake. "Your idea for the defense, I mean."   
"He doesn't have to know now," Quisty said. "Only tomorrow."   
"I take it he doesn't like the idea?" Zell asked.   
"Look," Quisty said. "I don't care if he'll hate me for the rest of my life for declaring him temporary insane, but it's about the only defense I could think of for what he did. That, and the fact that the charge is murder even when Squall's still alive. I'm still trying to see how I can get over that technicality."   
"I don't know, Quisty," Zell said, letting out a pessimistic sigh. "I mean, what Seifer did was really serious this time. You've got really bleak chances of pulling this off."   
"That's why I need your help," Quistis said again. The expression on her eyes was heart-tugging. "I can't pull this off if I can't have witnesses who will testify for Seifer. I have to get the sympathy of the people. Or the faculty. At least three of them."   
"Whoa," Zell said. "I thought Trial by Pleading doesn't have a jury?"   
"It doesn't," Quistis said. "The decision is solely based on the Headmaster."   
"Then why try to get the people's sympathy if they don't have a say on the case?"   
"There is an article on the Trial by Pleading manual which states that capital punishment can be discarded for a lesser punishment if three Garden faculty aside from the instructor-counsel will plead on his or her behalf," Quistis explained. "I am hoping that I could persuade three faculty members to vote on that."   
"You're really not too optimistic on him getting scot-free, are you?" Zell asked.   
"I'm just taking into account the worst case scenario, Zell," Quistis replied. "If Cid still decides on Seifer being guilty, at least he won't be killed for it."   
Zell clasped his hands thoughtfully in front of him, his elbows placed rudely on the table. He twisted his mouth for a bit, thinking hard.   
"I know how you can't stand being around Seifer," Quistis said.   
"He's a pain in the ass, what do you expect?" Zell replied. "He's always so arrogant and he has a talent for getting into people's nerves."   
"Then I'm asking you to do this for me," Quisty said. "Zell, please. Just do me this favor. Please?"   
Zell went silent again, looking away for a while. He was obviously deep in thought.   
"What do you want me to say?" Zell asked.   
"Say yes," Quisty said.   
"No, I mean, during the trial," Zell clarified. "I suppose I will be questioned by Instructor Devensor?"   
Quistis' face brightened up. It was all she could do not to reach over the table and hug the life out of the martial artist. "Thank you Zell! Thank you!"   
"You owe me big for this, Quisty," Zell muttered. "And no hugs. I don't think it'd be good, seeing as how you seemed to be attracting love triangles these days. I don't want anyone telling Iris we were locked in a passionate embrace."   
Quistis, all relieved smiles, nodded. "I'm just glad you decided to help me. At least this lessens the chances of Seifer getting killed."   
"Don't tell Rinoa about this, okay?" Zell muttered still. "Otherwise, I'll be the one getting killed."   
  
The rest of Quistis' afternoon was spent trying to build up her case. So far, she only had one witness, and that was Zell. She spent an hour debriefing him for the trial. At least he was vastly more cooperative than Seifer had been. She supposed that she should count it a blessing that Zell even agreed. She could scarcely think of anyone who might be willing to testify for Seifer.   
She spent about two hours more on the Faculty Records department, shuffling through various intsructors' papers and evaluations. She had no idea what she was looking for, but she did have a notion as to what she wanted to happen. She knew that if she was going to push through with this, she would be marked by the others. She came out of the room carrying fifteen folders and a brown manila envelope.   
While she was on the way to her room, she happened to pass by the hallway that led to the Medical section. Her steps faltered for a few moments, a battle of decisions in her mind. Finally, one side won, and she turned towards the hall corner to the ICU room.   
Hesitatingly at first, she opened the door and looked in.   
She found Irvine lazily leafing through a stack of magazines. His cowboy hat was placed on the dresser beside him. When he saw Quistis come in, he gave her a small smile.   
"Well, lookit what the cat dragged in."   
"'lo Irvine," Quistis said. She turned to look at Squall. "How is he?"   
"Still out cold," Irvine said. "Andrea came in a while ago, and said that he's completely okay now. All he needs is just rest."   
"Andrea?" Quistis asked.   
"Ehrm..the nurse, I mean," Irvine grinned, blushing. "Uhm, in any case, he'll be around anytime soon now."   
Quistis walked towards the side of the bed, and softly brushed Squall's hair. His forehead was bandaged, and so were parts of his hands and arms. There were still traces of bluish-black on his face, but otherwise, he looked perfectly normal now.   
"Where's Rinoa?" she suddenly asked.   
"Selphie took her out for a bite to eat," Irvine said. "The poor girl's been lying awake almost all night trying to wait for our Squallie-boy here to wake up."   
"I see," Quistis said. _She loves him that much._   
"By the way, I heard you're out to defend Seifer tomorrow," Irvine said. "A Trial by Pleading, eh?"   
"Yes," Quistis answered.   
Irvine was silent for a moment. "Why?"   
"Why?" Quistis repeated. "I don't know. Maybe because I had to?"   
"That's not an answer I'd expect from Quistis Trepe," Irvine said. "You went out of your way to take back your resignation just to plead for the life of someone who almost...no, who killed...someone you hold so dear?"   
"I know it sounds illogical," Quistis said. "But I really don't know why I did it. At first, it was the natural instinct for a teacher to protect her student. And Seifer has always been a special student of mine..."   
"At first?" Irvine asked.   
"But then, I paid him a visit yesterday," Quistis continued. "And I saw in his eyes why he had to do it. Irvine, it was the pain mixed with love. It was something I knew all too well. If...if I'll be able to save him tomorrow, then, maybe, I'll feel better knowing I've helped a kindred soul. And he deserves something good after the pain I saw in his eyes."   
Irvine chuckled. "You and Seifer are as different as water and fire. It's funny how you called him a kindred soul."   
Quistis lovingly looked at Squall one more time, before turning around and walking towards the door. "Seifer and I are the same, Irvine. Made kindred by the same pain of betrayal by love. I don't know what happened between him and Rinoa, but I'm sure he felt betrayed. Betrayer and the betrayed. It's as kindred as anything else can be, don't you think?"   
Irvine didn't say anything, watching her open the door and stepping out. He looked down and softly shook his head.   
  
In all of Balamb Garden history, the courtroom had always been the prominent venue for controversial trials. It was there that a talented but brash SeeD commander was court-martialed when he decided to disobey a direct order and proceeded to command his squad to storm a suspected terrorist hideout when they were only tasked for reconnaisance, five years ago. It was also there that a respected instructor was found guilty of sexually harassing a young cadet, six years past. So many court trials, and so many dreams shattered in that one place. But this time, it was different. For the first time in B-Garden history, a murder trial will be carried out. And the figures of the case were as prominent as any in history.   
Today, the courtroom was literally flooded with blue, and was a veritable marketplace of murmurs, talks and noise. Classes were cancelled for this day, just for this trial, and as a result, students and cadets lined the rows of benches which were built in a wide half-arc on the sides of the room. On the front part of the center arc were seated the faculty of the Garden. And on the special box portion on the side, on an elevated part of the arc, were the fifteen senior instructors which comprised the Board of Garden Directors. Most of the faces were etched in stone, and were looking at the Pleadee's table where Quistis and Seifer were seated. Their looks were as friendly as a chimera looking at its prey. All of the fifteen seats were occupied except for one. Its occupant was seated on the table a few meters alongside Quistis'. Senior Instructor Myriam Devensor's face was as contemptous as some of the members of the Board. A face of contempt, with a mixture of total confidence. She knew she was going to win this one. The pleading was only a delay for the inevitable.   
Quistis, for her part, was a figure of cool composure as she arranged the papers she was going to use today. She was wearing her Garden uniform, and her hair was tied up in that familiar way of hers. With the cute wire-frame glasses that was always a fixture in her face, nobody could have guessed the extreme nervousness that's been waging inside her. If they would have looked closer, they would notice that the sheaf of papers she was holding was trembling.   
Seifer, on the other hand, was anything but calm. His face marked that usual scowl and perpetual subtle frown that marred his otherwise handsome face. The scar only made it worse. His eyes kept shifting from one spot of the room in front of him to the next. His hands were crossed, and he kept subtly swinging his chair.   
Finally, the court secretary stood up and announced the arrival of the Headmaster judge.   
"All rise! The court is now in session for the trial of 1st class cadet Seifer Almasy versus the Balamb Garden. The presiding judge will be his honor Headmaster Cid Kramer."   
Everyone stood up as the headmaster, dressed in the judge's garb of flowing black silken robe with a threaded red collar, walked up on the raised judge's desk. The moment he banged his gavel, everyone sat down. Silence enveloped the whole of the room after that.   
"Let's get this over with so we can resume our normal Garden routine," Cid said. "Pleadee and Prosecutor, are you both ready for your opening statements?"   
"We are, Your honor," Quistis and Devensor said, standing up.   
"Then let's--" Cid said.   
"Your Honor, before we gave out our respective statements, I move to ask for Section 10, of Article 92," Quistis said, interrupting Cid. Her face was cool and calm, but her voice betrayed a hint of a waver.   
Cid blinked.   
"Preposterous!" Devensor said, looking at Quistis incredously. "Your Honor, the prosecutor would object to that motion."   
"Instructor Trepe," Cid said. "You do know the proceedings of a Garden trial, don't you?"   
"Yes, Your Honor," Quistis said.   
"Then you know that all motions or pleas concerning a trial outcome and sentences should be submitted before the trial itself?" Cid asked.   
"Yes, Your Honor, but this is a Trial by Pleading," Quistis said.   
"Your Honor, my colleague's motion is completely out of the rules of a Garden trial," Devensor said. "I move to strike it out."   
Cid thought for a moment. "Both counsels please approach the bench."   
Quistis and Devensor glared at each other as they approached the headmaster's desk.   
"This is completely out of line, Instructor Trepe," Cid said in a low voice. "All motions and pleas should be brought to my attention a day before the trial! The Garden Manual states it clearly!"   
"But only on normal trials and cases, headmaster," Quistis said. "The Trial by Pleading is a special case."   
"It did not say that even if it's a special case, it's not bound by the same rules as that of a normal court proceeding!" Devensor hissed.   
"It did not say that it is, either!" Quistis shot back. "Tell me a passage in the Manual that says it is, and I will retract my motion. If you may recall, Instructor, a Trial by Pleading has a section all its own! And with its own rules and procedures! And since a Trial by Pleading reserves the notion that the defendant has already been considered guilty until proven innocent, the Manual clearly states that a Pleadee counsel may invoke the right to have the capital punishment abetted if three or more Garden faculty staff will intervene on his behalf of their own free will!"   
"This is stupidity!" Devensor said. "You're arguing a common technicality!"   
"How convenient," Quistis said. "Isn't that why you're charging Seifer Almasy in the first place? By a 'technicality'?"   
"Why you--!" Devensor said, getting angrier. "We asked for a capital punishment, and that is what we will have! I will not let a murderer get a sentence lesser than that just because the manual did not mention a rule that is common among all other trial proceedings!"   
"I can't believe your personal hatred against him has gone this deep!" Quistis said. "Remember that I still have to prove him innocent!"   
"Look, you two," Cid said, glaring at the two. "This is the first Trial by Pleading this Garden has ever had. If you're thinking of making a circus out of this, I'll be forced to charge you both with contempt! I suppose THAT is in the Manual?"   
"Yes, Headmaster," the two mumbled.   
"Very well," Cid said. "I will grant your motion, Instructor Trepe. But any more rule-twisting like that and I will have your defendant carry out the original sentence before pleading, understand?"   
"Yes, headmaster," Quistis said. She felt a surge of joy inside her, and it was all she could do not to shout out loud. It was just a minor victory, she told herself. _Don't get carried away._   
"Now get back to your benches so we can finally get back to our daily Garden routine," Cid said.   
Quistis and Devensor went back to their respective places.   
"The Prosecutor may now start with her opening statement," Cid said. "The maximum time given per statement is only ten minutes, people. Remember that."   
Devensor shuffled some papers for a few seconds before getting up. She casually walked towards the center of the courtroom, taking her time. Every eye on the room was on her.   
Quistis let out a breathe. _Great_, she thought. _Now she's building up the dramatic tension. Damn, why can't I be as confident as her?_   
Finally, Devensor looked at the audience in the room and spoke.   
"Eversince its conception, Balamb Garden has stood tall against so many problems and hardships and has maintained its reputation as a respected and peaceful institution because of one thing: its set of rules. We have rules and regulations, and we follow them. Rules, ladies and gentlemen, are what keeps our daily life here in the Garden ordered and structured. They are what molds you into the future SeeDs whom people around the world look up in awe and respect. Without rules, we would be in utter chaos right now.   
"Seifer Almasy is a man who spits at those rules. Let me be blunt and say that he is an arrogant bastard who disregards any and all rules his instructors lay for their classes. I should know. I was his instructor once. And I'm sure most of you already know of his infamous reputation here. He opposes any and all forms of authority and does his best to be a headache to any authoritative figure. He is hot-headed and is a troublemaker. In a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen, Seifer Almasy is a time bomb just waiting to blow up.   
"Yesterday, that bomb finally exploded. Yesterday, he attacked and killed a Garden authority figure. A person who is known and respected by everyone in Balamb Garden. And a hero known the world over. Yesterday, I'm sure most of you have seen the bloody body of Commander Squall Leonheart being wheeled to the Intensive Care Unit. Seifer Almasy did that, ladies and gentleman. The same Seifer Almasy you see sitting on the defense bench right now.   
"In all truths and purposes, we shouldn't have been here right now. It is plain as day that Seifer Almasy committed murder and treason, and that the facts are there for everyone to see. This trial is just delaying justice which could have been carried out already. Treason in the sense that he attacked and, dare I say, killed a respected and recognized Garden faculty, and thus, in a sense, attacked Balamb Garden itself. I tell you right now, ladies and gentlemen. An act like that should not go unpunished. And since my esteemed colleague here has invoked Section 10, you faculty of this prestigious Garden now have in your hands the power whether or not to let the transgressor be punished for what he had done. I hope that you do."   
With that, Myriam Devensor went back to her bench. Quistis, who had been playing with her pen absentmindedly the whole time, stood up and took her place in front of the judge's bench. She clasped her hands behind her back and paused, just as Devensor had. She was hoping that maybe, the people inside the courtroom right now would take that brief pause as dramatic. In truth, she was trying to organize her thoughts.   
Finally, she brought herself up straight, clearing her throat. That pristine and pretty face never belying the hundred thousand thoughts, impulses, and ideas swarming inside her head right now just begging to be organized into a logical and coherent speech. She looked at the faces in front of her. There was Selphie and Iris on the second row on the left section, looking smart and composed in their SeeD uniforms. Beside Iris sat Zell, and he was fidgeting every so often. Apparently, he still hadn't told them that he was going to testify for Seifer. Rinoa and Irvine were not in the room. She guessed that they probably were still with Squall in the ICU. And then, there were expectant nerdy students who some, she recalled, were her students in Esthar history. Xu's students in Law and Economics who, Xu told her, were so very critical in the way she taught things. There was Xu herself in front of the group, together with the Garden teachers and faculty. Right now, her friend was looking at her in a somewhat nervous manner. Last night, they had a long serious talk about her decision. Both in defending Seifer, and in her plan during the whole course of the trial. She was already fine with the former. She hoped she had explained to Xu, fully, her reasons (even though she knew that it sounded completely irrational to others). The latter, however, she wasn't really sure about. She knew that Xu was more knowledgable than her in the field of law. That was why the moment she told her about her plan of bringing up Section 10 during the court proceeding, Xu practically looked at her and asked her if she wanted to be cited for contempt in court. She knew her friend meant well. But she also knew that doing this would be a step further in assuring that Seifer wouldn't end up six feet under. Not that it would be an assurance. She knew Xu would vote for Seifer. That only leaves two more. She looked at the faces of the faculty in front of her now, and she only saw blankness and ice.   
Finally, she let out a breath and started her speech.   
"Ladies and gentlemen, and esteemed colleagues. I am sure all of you here might be wondering why I'm standing here in front of you and the Headmaster Judge, pleading for the life of a certain first class cadet who is infamous for being a first-rate jerk and bastard to all cadets and personnel of the Garden, especially those who are figures of authority. I, myself, have often been at the receiving end of his brashness and crudeness. My respected colleague here has already stated to you what her personal thoughts about him are, and why he was being charged for such crimes. She had already stated why they thought of him as a traitor, and as a murderer.   
"But there was one thing she didn't tell you. The whole truth. She only presented facts, cold hard ones. And those I do not deny. But what she didn't tell you was that Seifer fought Squall because of a personal matter, and therefore is not subject under the blanket of Garden visage. In that sense, he did not commit treason against the Garden. She had stated numerous times that Seifer killed Squall. But what she didn't tell you was that Squall is fine, although unconscious, in the Intensive Care Unit right now. He's alive."   
Quistis paused again, partly to hold the suspense, and partly to collect her thoughts. She walked towards the front row of teachers and faculty, and placed her hands on the brown oaken railing. She looked at the eyes of her fellow instructors and continued.   
"Ladies and gentlemen, before this day will end, I will attempt to show to you two things. One is that all this was caused by a personal vendetta by several Board members against Seifer Almasy. They never cared about whether Seifer committed murder or not. They only want to see him punished for what they thought was a sin he did more than a year ago, during the Sorceress war. That, and the fact that they hated Seifer because of how he was always defying them in front of their students and their classes. All this was only because of several senior instructors' bruised egos, and what they thought was a betrayal done in the past. A transgression, mind you, of which Seifer Almasy had already been pardoned.   
"The second point I will attempt to prove is that when Seifer fought Squall which almost--mind you, almost--killed Squall Leonheart, he was not in control of his full senses at that time. In other words, he was temporarily insane--"   
"Objection!" a voice suddenly rang out, clear and brisk, and visibly angry. Everyone turned to look at who had the audacity to interrupt Quistis' opening statement. Everyone's eyes were locked to Seifer, who had stood up, hands squarely placed at the table, and face bristling with anger and disbelief.   
"Wow," Zell said, whispering to Iris. "He can do that???"   
Cid, for his part, blinked in surprise. "You're objecting to your counsel's statement?!"   
"Seifer--!" Quistis said, trying to recover from the momentary shock the recent developments gave her.   
"Dammit Instructor!" Seifer growled. "I told you I do not plead temporary insanity! I thought you already got that inside that pretty head of yours?! Fuck!"   
"Young man, you cease this outburst this instant or I swear this trial'll be over sooner than you expect and you'll find yourself either spending a lifetime in a dark prison cell or as fertilizer for the trees!" Cid said angrily.   
"Then get this over with!" Seifer growled. "All I want is a chance to be put in the stand so I can tell Rinoa how sorry I am! Then you can feed my body to the Ruby Dragons for all I care, but I do _not_ plead insanity!"   
"That's it!" Cid said. "You, young man, are ci--!"   
"Your Honor, please!" Quistis said, running towards Seifer and attempting to cover his mouth before he can dig himself in deeper. Not that it mattered. "He was just upset. I promise that there will be no more of this out of him!"   
Seifer's brows furrowed in obvious disagreement. "Mmmmph! Mmmmph!"   
Quistis, eyes blazing with anger, then turned to face Seifer. She growled, and whispered. "Now listen here you idiot! This is the only way I can save your sorry ass! Now, you either shut up willingly, or I will make you myself. And I swear by all I hold holy that you'll wish you'd been flayed alive and soaked in vinegar. Do I make myself clear?"   
Seifer's eyes narrowed for a moment. He looked deep in her eyes, as if swimming in there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he nodded in agreement. Quistis took her hand off his mouth slowly. On the prosecutor's desk, Devensor was grinning broadly. Quistis gave her a piercing glare. The older woman just raised an eyebrow at her. However, she did stop her grinning.   
Quistis turned around and looked at Cid. "I'm sorry, Your Honor, for that interruption. If I may continue?"   
Cid glared at Seifer for a moment, before turning back to Quistis. "You have only one minute more, Instructor-counsel."   
"Thank you, Your Honor," Quistis said. She turned around and faced the faculty again, smoothing her dark blue Instructor uniform, trying to regain her composure. She knew, however, that the momentum she held before was now gone by the outburst.   
"As I said, my respected colleagues. During the time when Seifer dealt that injury to Squall, he was not in full control of himself. As such, he cannot be held fully responsible for his actions. Thank you."   
Quistis let out a breath, and took one last look at the faces of the instructors and Garden faculty members. All she saw were doubt.   
_Hyne help us now_, she thought.   
  



	12. XII

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  
**"P**lease state your name and your position for the record."   
Zell, however, was still too busy looking at Iris. His look was almost pleading. Apologetic. It was almost funny, looking at him that way. Iris, for her part, was still transfixed at her martial artist-boyfriend in utter disbelief, mouth slightly open.   
The moment Quistis called Zell as the defense's first witness, Iris' head instantly snapped at him almost automatically, eyes already wide open. He slowly let go of her hand as he stood up, starting to walk towards the witness stand. He tried looking at her in a reassuring manner, trying futily to maybe telepathically say that "Everything's going to be alright." Instead, his look came off as "I'll explain everything later. Honest!"   
They had talked time and again about not keeping any secrets from each other. Looking at her now, however, he could almost wish that he didn't agree on helping Quistis. Iris' face slowly turned from a look of surprise to subtle sulk. Slowly, her gaze became dangerously piercing. That, and the fact that she slowly crossed her arms under her breasts told Zell that he better give her something more than just flowers and chocolates this time. Slowly, he saw his hopes of buying the latest Weapon's Monthly issue turn to mere fancy. No, he told himself as he saw Iris look away from him in that sulking manner and then start to nonchalantly talk with Selphie. He knew what it meant: she will be ignoring him from now on. _Make that several future issues. Damn, Quisty. You REALLY owe me big for this!_   
"Your NAME and POSITION please...!" The secretary's voice broke through his musings again.   
"Uh...huh?" Zell replied blankly, looking at the secretary as if he had no idea what he was doing here.   
"Please, Mr. Dincht," Cid said, obviously irritated now. "Don't just sit there like a dumb idiot. State your name and your position for the record so we can continue with this trial!"   
Quistis leaned her left elbow on her right arm and sighed, covering her face with her left hand. She shook her head resignedly. She heard some snickerings on the spectator seats.   
"O-oh...Sorry," Zell said, as if he had just been yanked back to earth after being in the cloud for long. He leaned closer to the microphone timidly. "I-I'm Zell Dincht. 1st Class SeeD. Special Operations and Hand to Hand Combat Specialist." Then, as if in afterthought, he added, "Sir."   
"Raise your right hand."   
Zell absentmindedly raised his hand. He was still looking at Iris, trying see if she'll look at him still.   
"Ehrm...your _right_ hand, Mr. Dincht," the secretary said as patiently as she could.   
It was then that Zell realized he was raising his left. "Oh! Sorry." He raised his right hand this time.   
"Do you swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, on this trial as mandated by Garden Oath?" the secretary asked.   
"I do," Zell said.   
"Please take your seat," the secretary said before walking away.   
Zell sat nervously in the witness chair. He had never attended a trial before. But now, he was on one. Literally.   
Quistis approached him. The look in her eyes told him not to botch this one up. For her sake. But the glower on her eyes told Zell that it might as well be his. "Mr. Dincht, could you please tell the court where you were two days ago at about 11 am?"   
"I was walking along the S-3 Hall," Zell answered. "I just came from the cafeteria."   
"From the cafeteria, you say?" Quistis asked. "What did you do there?"   
"I bought a Big B hotdog with all the toppings," Zell replied, and then licked his lip unconsciously as he remembered the food. "I was waiting a damn long time for that."   
"A hotdog fanatic, I see," Quistis said. "Tell me, Mr. Dincht. How much do you like that hotdog?"   
"Objection, Your Honor!" Devensor said, suddenly standing. "I can't see what relevance this line of questioning has pertaining to the case!"   
Cid turned to Quistis. "Instructor Trepe, does this question have anything whatsoever to do with the case?"   
"Yes, Your Honor," Quistis replied, adjusting her glasses on her cute nose.   
"I mean this hotdog question," Cid said.   
"I know what you meant the first time, Your Honor," Quistis said.   
Cid considered for a while. "I'm curious. Objection overruled. You may proceed, Instructor."   
Devensor sat back, obviously annoyed.   
"Let me ask you the question again, Mr. Dincht," Quistis said, turning back to Zell. "How much do you like the hotdog?"   
"D'oh. I've only been waiting for it for at least two weeks!" Zell said. "Everytime I try and get one of it, I'm always late. Two days ago was the first time I finally got it."   
"So what you're trying to say is, you've been waiting a long time to eat that?" Quistis asked.   
"Uh-huh," Zell said. "I'd kill someone for that hotdog." Then, as if realizing that he was inside a courtroom, he hastily added, "Ehrm...metaphorically speaking, of course."   
Quistis let out a chuckle. "Of course. But tell me, would you...say, punch someone for that hotdog? I mean, we know how proficient you are when it comes to hand to hand combat."   
"Of course," Zell said.   
"What happened after you finally got the hotdog you've long waited for and walked down the S-3 Hallway?" Quistis asked.   
"I was about to eat it..I mean I savored it at first, y'know, just so the experience would be optimized," Zell said. "Well, anyways, I was preparing to eat it when Seifer grabbed my collar."   
"Seifer? Y'mean, Seifer Almasy?" Quistis asked.   
"Yeah," Zell said. "He grabbed my collar and slammed me in the wall"   
A murmur rose among the audience. Cid banged the hammer on the gavel. "Order!"   
"Does Seifer always do that to you?" Quistis asked.   
"Hell no," Zell said. "He would just normally taunt me verbally. But he never became that violent on me until that day."   
"Are you, by nature, afraid of Seifer Almasy, Mr. Dincht?" Quistis asked.   
"Hell no!" Zell said defensively. "I could take on Seifer with a fistfight. There's no way in hell I would back down from him!"   
"Very well. Back to the topic, what did he do to your hotdog after that?" Quistis asked.   
"Objection, Your Honor!" Devensor protested again, half-standing up.   
"Overruled," Cid said. "You may answer what he did to your hotdog, Mr. Dincht."   
"I protested heatedly," Zell recalled. "Then, he just suddenly grabbed my hotdog and threw it on the floor."   
"He threw it on the floor?" Quistis asked. "Just like that?"   
"Yeah," Zell said.   
"So what did you do? Did you punch him?" Quistis asked.   
"No," Zell said. He was almost sheepish.   
"Wait. Let me get this clear," Quistis said. She pretended to show a very confused expression. "Here is someone who isn't exactly your most favorite of people, and he just threw away something you obviously are crazy with, and you didn't do anything about it when you can easily have?"   
Zell grimaced. "You made it sound as if I'm a wuss, Quisty. Ehrm...I mean, counselor."   
"I'm sorry. That is not what I meant." Quistis said. "I just find it...strange, Mr. Dincht. You said so yourself. You don't back down from him."   
"I don't back down from Seifer Almasy," Zell said. "That person who threw away my hotdog wasn't Seifer. He was someone else."   
"Excuse me?" Quistis asked.   
"His eyes were not Seifer's," Zell said. "It looked as if he was a different person. I don't know what happened to have caused it, but I can tell you one thing: I don't think Seifer was himself that day. Usually, Seifer just has that mischievous and arrogant glint on his eyes. That day, there was a burning danger in them. That made me wary. He was definitely more serious."   
"So, you don't think that Seifer was himself then?" Quistis clarified.   
"No," Zell said. "There was a hint of madness in his eyes. And anger."   
"Thank you, Mr. Dincht," Quistis said. She turned around and looked at Devensor. "Your witness."   
Devensor stood up and took her place in front of the witness stand. She paused for a brief moment, pacing back and forth. Then, in that characteristic drawl, she asked a question. "Mr. Dincht. You said that Seifer grabbed your collar two days ago and slammed you on the wall. Is that correct?"   
"Yes ma'am," Zell said.   
"Do you know why he did that?" Devensor asked.   
"He was looking for Squall," Zell answered. "And I happened to be the closest friend of Squall's he saw."   
Devensor let out an "Oh, I see!" expression. "He was, as you said, murderously angry, and he was looking for Squall?"   
"I said he wasn't himself," Zell said. "Not murderously angry."   
"But he was angry?" Devensor asked.   
Zell hesitated. Quistis didn't run this through him yesterday. He looked at Quistis. Quistis nodded.   
"Again, Mr. Dincht," Devensor said. "Was he angry?"   
"Yes, he was," Zell said finally.   
"How angry?"   
"I don't know." Zell said dryly. He wasn't exactly fond of Devensor even when he was still under her. "I didn't ask him."   
Devensor pretended not to hear the sarcasm in Zell's voice. "Could he be angry enough to kill Squall, Mr. Dincht?"   
"Uhm...no," Zell said. "Seifer may be an asshole, but I don't think he's a murderer."   
"So, you didn't think he was out to kill Squall?" Devensor asked.   
"Nope."   
"Interesting you say that," Devensor said, quite amused. "Your Honor, I would like to ask permission to play something for the benefit of everyone present? Just to clarify things up?"   
Zell frowned, looking at Quistis, but he, too, saw the confusion on the pretty Instructor's face.   
"You may proceed, Instructor," Cid said.   
"Computer," Devensor said out loud. "Please play Disc Record Number 19283-746ND. Start on sector 23, track 4 until track 6."   
"Acknowledged," the computer synth-voice said.   
Within seconds, a voice was heard reverberating around the room. When Zell heard it, his mouth fell open. The voice was Rinoa's.   
_"W-Wait! S-Seifer was looking for Squall?!"_   
His voice then followed. He could still vividly remember the scene.   
_"Oh no. Seifer was hunting Squall."_   
"Computer, loop the last track," Devensor said.   
Zell heard his voice repeated over and over again. _"Oh no. Seifer was hunting Squall"._   
Looking completely lost, Zell turned to Quistis, who just looked back at him with the same sad look.   
"No further questions, Your Honor," Devensor said as she walked back to her bench. She never looked back at Zell.   
  
Dr. Kadowaki was called to the stand. The motherly lady doctor calmly raised her right hand and was sworn in. The secretary, then, asked her to take her seat. The doctor complied.   
Quistis stood up and walked near the witness stand. She smiled. "Good morning, Dr. Kadowaki."   
"Good morning, instructor," Dr. Kadowaki replied.   
"I suppose you know why you're here?" Quistis asked.   
Dr. Kadowaki nodded. "Yes, I do."   
"Just for the record, Doctor," Quistis said. "Do you know what kind of trial this is?"   
"A treason slash murder trial," Dr. Kadowaki said.   
"Let's focus on the murder angle," Quistis said. "Do you know who were involved?"   
"Seifer supposedly killed Squall," Dr. Kadowaki said.   
"'Supposedly'?" Quistis asked, raising an eyebrow. "Could you clarify that more, Doctor?"   
"Squall isn't dead," Dr. Kadowaki said. "He's in the Intensive Care Unit right now, recuperating."   
"But my colleague, Intructor Devensor, clearly filed a murder charge, Doctor," Quistis said. "How can it be murder when no one is dead?"   
Dr. Kadowaki shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just a doctor in this Garden. All I know is that Squall is not dead. Either Instructor Devensor did not know that, or this trial is a farce."   
"Objection, Your Honor!" Devensor said. "The witness is speculating. Move to strike out that last statement."   
"Objection sustained," Cid said. "Dr. Kadowaki, please stick to answering the questions."   
Quistis, however, was subtly smiling. "Just one more question, Doctor. Do you think it's possible for someone to be temporarily insane?"   
"There are instances where a person might temporarily lose control of full rational thinking," Dr. Kadowaki said. "Intense emotional distress, for instance, in which case the person's feelings are so great that it usually clouds a person's mind. Everyone is capable of losing control, given the right triggers."   
"So, it's possible for Seifer to have been temporarily insane when he battled with Squall two days ago?" Quistis asked.   
"Given the right motivations, yes," Dr. Kadowaki said.   
"Thank you, Doctor," Quistis said. She turned to Devensor. "Your witness."   
Devensor stood up and, without wasting any minutes, she immediately asked the doctor. "Doctor, you were the attending physician when Commander Leonheart was brought in that day, weren't you?"   
"Yes, I was."   
"Could you briefly tell us what happened?" Instructor Devensor asked.   
"Squall was wheeled in at about 4 pm. Blood was all over him, and he was in a state of shock," Dr. Kadowaki. "He--"   
"Could you tell us his injuries?" Instructor Devensor interrupted.   
Dr. Kadowaki frowned for a bit, visibly insulted at being interrupted. "He had three broken ribs, and he suffered minor internal bleeding. There were minor to medium concussions on his face, resulting in it being black and blue. And there was a major cut that run across his chest."   
"That cut," Devensor said. "Was it enough to cause death?"   
"The cut itself wasn't enough," Dr. Kadowaki replied.   
"But if it were coupled with the other injuries and the shock?" Devensor asked.   
When Dr. Kadowaki did not reply, Devensor looked at her again. "Doctor, you are under oath. Tell the truth."   
"Yes, it could," Dr. Kadowaki finally said.   
"Doctor," Devensor suddenly asked. "Did Commander Leonheart die?"   
"I told you that he's ali--" Dr. kadowaki said, her voice rising a bit.   
"At any point that day, did he die," Devensor interrupted her again. It was a statement, not a question.   
"Does it even matter? The important thing is he's a--" Dr. Kadowaki protested a bit.   
"I am asking if at any time that day, did Commander Squall Leonheart die, doctor!" Devensor practically snapped at the lady doctor. Her high-pitched voice was irritatingly piercing.   
Dr. Kadowaki became silent. Then, mustering as much dignity as she can, she answered. "Yes. He was declared clinically dead for five minutes and forty seconds. But he miraculously came back."   
"But still, he died," Devensor insisted. "If he hadn't lived again, would you have defended Seifer, doctor?"   
"Objection, Your Honor!" Quistis said. "That question is irrelevant to the case. I can't see why the good doctor's intent to whether or not defend Seifer Almasy has any relevance to the case whatsoever."   
"On the contrary, Your Honor, the good doctor's personal feelings towards the accused would determine whether or not she was biased in her defense."   
"Overruled," Cid said. "The witness may answer the question."   
"Well doctor?" Devensor asked.   
"Instructor Devensor," Dr. Kadowaki replied in a forced tone. She was clearly trying to be civil. "For years I have been this Garden's Senior Physician. I have treated almost all the students, and I have learned to love them as though they were my own children. Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonheart, in particular, had been the two sons I never had who were trying to outdo each other. I do not want to see anything bad happen to them. You were asking me if I would still defend Seifer if Squall had remained dead. My answer is yes. Although I won't feel sorry for him like I do now, I do not want to see him be executed. In my opinion, one death is enough."   
"Personal feelings have no place in a courtroom, doctor," Devensor said icily.   
"And I'm telling you that Squall coming back from sure death is a miracle," Dr. Kadowaki said. "This is supposed to be a time for rejoicing, not a decision to whether or not execute someone when the other had lived!"   
Devensor's face showed contempt. "No further questions, Your Honor."   
"Since it's almost lunch, I will declare a 30-minute recess," Cid said. "This trial is adjourned until 1 o'clock in the afternoon. I need a drink."   
Cid banged the gavel and started to walk towards the judge's chamber.   
In the courtroom, no one moved.   
  
"You should, uhm, check up on him more often, you know," Irvine grinned flirtingly at the pretty young nurse who was checking up on Squall's condition. "Like every two hours maybe?"   
"Maybe," Andrea, the nurse smiled back. "But then again, the other nurses have warned me against being with you in the same room for more than necessary."   
"They what?" Irvine asked, feigning a look of disbelief. "Aw, c'mon! Surely you don't believe them?"   
"I do. I have heard of you, Irvine Kinneas, and your reputation as the Garden's ladies' man. I have a phobia against ladies' men," the young woman said as she checked Squall's pulse and scribbled something on her metal-backed stat chart. "Besides, Dr. Kadowaki said that I only need to check up on him for every six hours."   
"Look, Andrea, they're just rumours! I tell you that I am nowhere near as they make me out to be," Irvine said defensively, following the young nurse as she checked up on the electrocardiogram. "They're just...uhm...jealous."   
"And I know someone who'll get really jealous if I get close to you," Andrea said, shaking her head as she smiled amusingly. "Selphie Tilmitt. I don't think I'd want an angry SeeD breathing down on my neck."   
"Aw, Selphie? Don't worry! She'll understand when I tell her that I only wanted to be your frie--"   
Suddenly, Squall groaned. "Ri..noa....."   
Both Irvine and Andrea stopped, and looked at Squall as if they had been electrocuted.   
"Rin..oa...."   
"Squall?!" Irvine said, suddenly forgetting everything except his friend. "Squall, are you awake now, bud?"   
"I-I'll get Dr. Kadowaki!" Andrea said. Irvine just nodded, his attention still riveted at Squall.   
Squall's eyes suddenly fluttered and, for the first time since two days ago, his eyes opened halfway. He groaned again.   
"Squall! Y-you're okay!" Irvine said excitedly. "You're not brain-damaged or anything?"   
"Head...hurts like hell..." Squall rasped. He tried to move, and then regretted the motion. "W-where's...Rinoa...?"   
"She's in the courtroom, I think," Irvine said. "Together with Quistis, and the others."   
"C-courtroom...?" Squall asked.   
"Yeah," Irvine said. "They're having a Trial by Pleading today."   
"Who's...on trial?"   
"Seifer," Irvine said. "For killing you."   
  
At exactly one o'clock, Cid came out of his chamber and the court resumed its session.   
"Pleadee, do you have any more witnesses?" Cid asked.   
"None, Your Honor," Quistis said. "The Pleadee rests."   
"Very well," Cid said. "The Prosecution may now present its witnesses."   
"We only have one, Your Honor," Devensor said. "The Prosecution calls Rinoa Heartilly to the stand."   
There were murmurs as Rinoa appeared and started walking down the middle of courtroom, and to the witness stand. Quistis, for her part, found herself standing half-way, taken aback at what happened. She watched Rinoa gracefully walk across the aisle towards the center of the room. She was wearing a muted baby-blue long-sleeved dress and black plaited mini-skirt. She was graceful, and beautiful. She would have been more beautiful if her face wasn't set in a somber reflection.   
After the secretary swore her in, she was asked to sit down. She slowly did.   
"Ms. Heartilly, can you tell the court how you are related with Commander Leonheart?" Devensor asked.   
"S-Squall and I are lovers," Rinoa said.   
"Can you tell us where you were two days ago?"   
"I was here, at the Garden," Rinoa said.   
"Business matters?" Devensor asked.   
"You...could say that," Rinoa replied. She glanced at Quistis meaningfully.   
"At about half past three in the afternoon, where were you?"   
"I was with Zell," Rinoa said. "We were looking for Squall and Seifer. We heard that Seifer was looking for him, and I was afraid."   
"Of?" Devensor inquired, raising her eyebrows dramatically.   
"Seifer hurting Squall," Rinoa answered.   
"Why were you sure he'd do that?" Devensor asked.   
"Because I was the reason Seifer was looking for Squall," Rinoa said. "He saw us fighting in the balcony, and I told Squall to go away. After that, Seifer came...and we exchanged heated words...and he walked away. I sat in there, crying for about an hour more...must have been two...I can't recall. But I was crying. When I found out from Zell that Seifer was looking for Squall, and that he was unusually hostile to him, I feared for the worst."   
"So you looked for them?"   
Rinoa nodded.   
"And after many hours of searching, you found them?"   
"A cadet said that he heard Seifer challenge Squall to a duel. On a place called Devil's Seat. So we went outside. It was raining," Rinoa recounted. "A storm. I felt cold then. But maybe it was more from the fear, than from the wind. Then, Zell said that he thought he saw something from the distance. A light. When we ran there, I saw Seifer defending from Squall's Lionheart..."   
"Please continue," Devensor said.   
"I was afraid. For both of them. But I was more afraid for Squall. So I shouted to them to stop," Rinoa said. Her voice had become progressively softer, as if doing so would cushion the impact of what she had seen. "When I did, they both looked at me. And then...I...I saw Seifer turn back to Squall...and he slashed him with his gunblade."   
Devensor turned to look at Seifer. Her gaze was accusing. She let out a breath, and then a triumphant gaze at everyone, and said, "Seifer Almasy slashed Commander Leonheart with intent. Ms. Heartilly saw it with her own eyes. And Dr. Kadowaki confirmed that it was the same cut and those other injuries, inflicted by Seifer, which killed him. For five minutes and forty seconds, yes. But he still killed him nonetheless."   
With that, Devensor turned to Quistis and said, "Your witness."   
Quistis did not realize she was trembling until after she stood in front of Rinoa. She clenched her fist in an attempt to steady herself. Then, she forced herself to calm down by taking slow, subtle breaths.   
"Ms. Heartilly, please tell them what you told me back there in Squall's room," Quistis said.   
Rinoa did not reply. She looked down.   
"Ms. Heartilly," Cid said. "Answer the question."   
Rinoa was silent.   
"Rinoa, please!" Quistis pleaded. "Seifer's life hangs in the line here! Tell them what you told me! That it wasn't his fault!"   
"He shouldn't have done that!" Rinoa suddenly cried. "Whatever happened in the past, he shouldn't have done that! Squall did not deserve it! Can't you even see that, Quistis?! How can you even defend him when you saw yourself what happened to Squall because of him?!"   
"And do you think Seifer deserves to be killed, then?!" Quistis shouted back. "I love Squall as much as you do! But I can't let a student of mine be killed just because some senior authorities decided that he committed a crime by mere technicality alone! Damn, Rinoa, why can't you understand that Seifer did what he did because he loves you?!"   
"You weren't there when he ripped his gunblade on Squall's chest," Rinoa sobbed. "You weren't there when I held Squall's head on my lap, and saw the pain in his eyes. You weren't there when Squall died for a moment. You don't know how it feels."   
"You were right," Quistis said, looking at Rinoa. Her voice was quivering. "I wasn't there. And you know what? I regretted it. I wasn't there when Squall needed me. I wasn't there to hold him, like you did. But I was not there when Seifer was hurt, either. What did you do to him, Rinoa? What did you do to him, to make him feel that much pain and anger, and use it to coat his love? You said so yourself. What happened to Squall was your fault. What happened?"   
Rinoa did not reply again. Her face was covered with her hands. The tears seeped between her fingers, and into the back of her hands.   
"Rinoa, tell us." Quistis pressed. "Make them understand what Seifer felt! Make them see what incensed his mind so much that he did what he did to Squall! Make them understand him! For once, Rinoa, show us what made Seifer become what he is today!"   
Rinoa kept sobbing, her raven hair streaked with wisps of brown falling loosely over her shoulders.   
"For the love of life, Rinoa!" Quistis practically shouted. "Let go of your grasp for the past before it destroys the life of someone who holds you dear!"   
"Objection, Your Honor!" Devensor suddenly protested. "She is badgering the witness!"   
"Quistis, please," Seifer suddenly said.   
Quistis looked at Seifer, surprised. He didn't usually call her by her first name.   
Seifer's face was alarmingly pleading. "Don't...don't press her. Don't make her cry. Not again. Do what you want to do to me. Just...don't make her cry. Please."   
Murmurs arose from the audience again as students felt the tension in the air. Cid had to bang the gavel numerous times before the murmurs were calmed down.   
"Intructor-counsel Trepe," Cid warned. "I advice you not to pursue this line of que-"   
"I was naive then," Rinoa suddenly said. Everyone turned to look at her at the sudden interruption. She was looking at Seifer. Everyone could see that she was wrapped up in the past now. "My life was so full of boredom, what with the parties and all. It was all the same. Just the same old people, in the same old parties, and the same old boredom. When I saw Seifer, I saw mischief in his person. I saw excitement. And I thought that he was someone who could bring diversity to my life.   
"I was attracted by his carefree, devil-may-care attitude. And for a while, I was happy with him. I _was_ really happy with him, mind you. And he was always so sweet with me. He made me feel as if I was a princess. He often told me that he was my knight. Maybe, it was the fairy tale feeling of it all. He always sent me flowers. And we always went out to sample Deling's night life whenever he managed to be there."   
Quistis looked at Seifer. The blond gunblader imprisoned his head with his hands. And she could almost feel the pain in him right now. She turned back to Rinoa.   
"But even I was getting tired of it," Rinoa continued. "That, and the fact that we only get to be together during Sundays, or when he manages to slink off the Garden. There were the calls, yes. And the letters. But I can't live on calls and letters alone. I wanted to be held. And touched. And...my feelings for him lessened each and every day. Sometimes, maybe even fairy tales get outgrown. That's when I met Daryll Dysen. He was my father's friend's son. We went out. And I..."   
"Stop..." Seifer murmured. "Please. Just stop."   
Rinoa looked down, and did not say anything more.   
"Rinoa," Quistis said softly. "Seifer loves you so much, he can't bear to see you cry. Even after what happened, he still held that torch out for you. I can...I can sympathize with him. I know how it feels not to be loved by someone who you're willing to offer your life for if only they'd love you half as much as you love them. Can you blame Seifer for what he did?"   
Rinoa did not reply. Her gaze was on Seifer. Seifer slowly looked up, and met her gaze with his.   
"More importantly, can you forgive him for what he did?" Quistis asked.   
"Seifer..." Rinoa started.   
"Oh puh-LEEEEASE, Your Honor!" Devensor suddenly said, breaking the mood. She stood up and started to make exaggerated gestures. "This is supposed to be a court trial, not a soap opera! So what if Ms. Heartilly broke his heart? That was a long time ago! I can't see any relevance to it now, in this case! Teenage lover's quarrel, nothing more! Look at him! Just look at him! The fact that he's showing off that sad, tortured student is just a ploy to get our sympathies! And you, Instructor Trepe. I am quite disappointed at you! I expected a legal battle, not some 'teenage-heart-break-from-long-ago-which-tragically-caused-him-to-turn-temporarily-insane' story! It's absurd! We don't need melodramatics here. We need facts!"   
"You want facts, _Instructor_?" Quistis almost shouted, bristling with anger. She almost spat out the last word. "The fact is that the human psyche can be wrapped up with so much emotion that it makes us slaves to its whim. The fact is that Seifer Almasy loved Rinoa Heartilly so much that he was willing to give up his life just so he can get back to whoever it was who made her cry. A twisted sense of honor? Yeah. Maybe it was. To you. Or to everyone else. But he believed that what he was doing was right. You heard what Dr. Kadowaki said! Intense emotional feelings makes us capable of losing control, given the right triggers. And nothing could be more painful than to see the love you offered betrayed by someone you are willing to give your life to. The Seifer Almasy who fought Squall in Devil's Seat that afternoon two days ago was not the same Seifer Almasy you see here before you. That was someone who he thought had died inside him when Rinoa broke his heart. And that someone came back, through Rinoa's tears! If you've been in love before, you'd know what I was talking about! But all you have inside you is seething anger and personal vendetta against a student who defied you in your classes!"   
The courtroom grew alive with catcalls and whistles and more murmurs. The faculty who were seated in the front row looked back, trying to silence the students with their respective glares. To no effect.   
"Order! Order!" Cid shouted, banging his gavel repeatedly. "If all of you won't shut up, I swear to Hyne I'll have a memo stating that there will be full exams next week!"   
That seemed to have given the desired effect. Everyone shut up.   
"Instructor-counsel Trepe," Cid said gravelly. "One more outburst like that and I will have you and Almasy in contempt. Do you understand?"   
"Why not hold them in contempt right now?" Devensor said mockingly. "They have raised enough foolishness as it is. And so far, I don't think they presented any strong proof of their plead of temporary insanity and supposed personal vendetta by the prosecution."   
"Any more statement and tone like that, Instructor Devensor, and I'll make sure you get transferred to Galbadia Garden as librarian. Remember that it is your witness which led to the ruckus. Is that understood?" Cid said.   
Devensor fell silent.   
"Now, does the Pleadee have any more questions for the witness?"   
Quistis looked at Rinoa, who just sat there looking at Seifer, as if she had seen him in a new light. "None, Your Honor."   
"Very well," Cid said. "Ms. Heartilly, you may now leave the stand."   
The secretary led Rinoa away from the witness stand. When she passed by Quistis, she stopped. "Q-quisty...will..will Seifer be alright?"   
"I-I don't know Rinny," Quistis said. "I don't know."   
She watched Rinoa being led away, wearing an expression of confusion and unmasked concern. The first time she saw her have that emotion to Seifer ever since this whole mess started.   
"Does the Prosecution have any more witnesses?" Cid asked.   
"None, Your Honor," Devensor said.   
"In that case, I guess it's now time for us to--"   
It was at this point that Quistis saw Selphie approach the oak railing which separates the audience section from the court proper. She was carrying a sheaf of photocopied papers, and she was motioning for her excitedly.   
"Your Honor," Quistis said. "I ask for a few minutes' reprieve? I need to confer with my, uhm, assistant."   
"You have an assistant, Intsructor?" Cid asked, raising an eyebrow.   
"Yes, Your Honor," Quistis said.   
Cid saw Selphie. The cute Trabian SeeD smiled and waved at Cid.   
"Very well," Cid said. "Five minutes."   
Quistis hurriedly walked to where Selphie was. Upon approaching her, Selphie whispered a few things to Quistis, and then handed her the papers. Quistis looked at it, and examined it. She bit her lip and smiled gratefully at Selphie, who gave her a wink and then went away. Quistis returned back to her table.   
"Your Honor, the Pleadee would like to call a new witness?" Quistis asked.   
Cid raised an eyebrow again. "A new witness? Hmmm...what does the Prosecution say about this?"   
Devensor shrugged confidently. "I doubt it'd have that much of an impact, Your Honor. We have already proven our side. But if the Pleadee would like to make a jackass out of themselves more, why not?"   
Cid snorted disapprovingly. "Very well. Motion approved. Call your witness."   
"The Pleadee would like to call Instructor Myriam Devensor to the stand!" Quistis said.   
Another wave of murmurs arose which took Cid about three more gavel bangs to subdue. Devensor's eyes almost popped out in surprise.   
"Well, Instructor?" Quistis said.   
Devensor hastily tried to regain her composure. She would have wanted to object, but she had already agreed to the presentation of a new witness. Putting on a haughty look again, she gave a piercing gaze at Quistis. "Another one of your melodramatic tactics, Instructor?"   
Quistis shrugged.   
Devensor walked to the witness stand. After she was sworn in, she took her seat. If looks could kill, Quistis would have been lying in the floor now.   
"Instructor, tell me what you think about Seifer Almasy?" Quistis started.   
"If you put me here just to discuss my personal opinions about my former students, Instructor, then I think you're just wasting our time," Devensor said.   
"It's a very easy question," Quistis said.   
Devensor's face showed pure contempt. "I would have thought that my opening statement would have explained it clearly, Instructor. But to paraphrase, I think he is one of the most hard-headed, arrogant, rude, and vulgar degenerate I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. He breaks rules and tests your limits just because he takes pleasure in doing it. He despises all sorts of authority and will never submit to an instructor's demand."   
"So you hate him?" Quistis asked.   
"I loathe him," Devensor's voice was dripping venom.   
"You have no wish of seeing him become a SeeD?" Quistis asked.   
"He does not have the discipline to be one," Devensor said.   
"Is that why you spearheaded the proposal to brand him as traitor after the Sorceress war, Instructor?" Quistis asked.   
"It was the whole Board's decision, Instructor," Devensor replied. "And we had every right to. He was an accomplice of Ultimecia. He should have been branded as a traitor, _de jure._"   
"But you're the Head of the Board, Instructor," Quistis said. "You initially proposed this motion to them, did you not?"   
"Yes, I did." Devensor said. "As I said, I had every right to."   
"But the Headmaster rejected the motion, saying that Seifer was an excellent fighter and an asset to the Garden when he becomes a SeeD," Quistis said. "After all, there were only very few capable gunbladers of Balamb Garden. If I may remember right, there was only Seifer and Squall."   
"There was nothing we could do," Devensor said. "Ultimately, the Headmaster has the last say on everything. It's in the rules. This is common knowledge, Instructor. Do you want me to tell you about my other students as well? Perhaps we should have tea, while we're at it?" The sarcasm was as thick as the tension between them.   
"Yes, common knowledge," Quistis said. She walked to the table and got a paper. "Can you tell the court what this is, Instructor?"   
Devensor took the paper Quistis handed her. She took a look at it, and then, shrugging, she gave it back to Quistis. "It's a photocopy of the Board's request to have Seifer Almasy be tried as traitor after the war."   
"I see you have your signatures in here," Quistis said. "All fifteen Board Members signed on it."   
"As I said, all of us agreed on it," Devensor said.   
"Your Honor, I would like to present this as evidence and have it marked as Exhibit A," Quistis said.   
"Duly noted," Cid said, as the secretary took the paper and placed it on a plastic cellophane.   
Quistis turned back to Devensor. "Instructor, tell me. After that one, has Seifer been under any of your class?"   
"Yes," Devensor said. "Two. He was under me in Advanced Anatomy and at Advanced Trabia Ecology."   
"Was he under the classes of any of the other Board Members?" Quistis asked.   
"I have no idea," Devensor said.   
"I was under three," Seifer suddenly said. Cid glared at him, and he shrugged. However, he didn't say anything more.   
Quistis looked at Seifer and gave her a look that told him to shut up. She turned to the papers. "Seifer was under three Board instructors at that time: Instructor Erno Oreta, in Digital Communications; Instructor Rift Sindai, in Quantum Physics; and Instructor Adam Gates, in Advanced Microengineering." She turned to Cid. "Your Honor, I would like to present this as evidence, and have it marked as Exhibit B."   
Cid let out a sigh. "Does this lead to anything, Instructor? Or are you just leading us to a wild-goose chase?"   
"It does, Your Honor," Quistis said.   
"Very well," Cid said. "Duly noted. But if I find out that you're just leading us on, Instructor..." He didn't have to finish the sentence. The threat was already there.   
Quistis handed the paper to the secretary. She, then, turned back to Devensor.   
"Instructor," Quistis asked. "Tell me. How did Seifer do in any of your classes?"   
Devensor almost laughed. "Seifer? He failed miserably. In both of them."   
"Well, isn't that a coincidence," Quistis remarked. She bit her lower lip as she looked at Seifer's last semester school record. "He failed in three other subjects too."   
"Seifer's a bad student, Instructor," Devensor said. "I wouldn't be surprised if he failed in all his classes."   
"But that's just it, Instructor," Quistis said. "Seifer didn't fail in all his classes. He got impressive grades in all his other subjects, except those five. Do you know what those other three subjects he failed in, Instructor?"   
"I am a garden instructor, Instructor," Devensor said. "Not a soothsayer. I am tired of this. Your Honor, this is just a waste of time. I see no relevance this line of questioning has on the case."   
Cid was about to say something when Quistis spoke in a serious tone. She put three papers in front of Devensor. "Seifer failed in Instructor Oreta, Instructor Sindai, and Instructor Gates' classes."   
"Just what are you trying to imply, Instructor?" Devensor said. The haughty expression in her face went away, replaced instead by a grim expression.   
"If Seifer had passed in those classes, Instructor," Quistis said, calmly. "And passed the final field exam, he would've been a SeeD already. But you, and those other three, didn't want that so you four failed him. By Garden law, a cadet who fails to become a SeeD by the time he or she has passed 19 years of age will be expelled. This is his last semester, and since he wasn't under any of your classes now he stood a very good chance of graduating. You can't have that, can you? So, when this chance presented itself, you, together with the other three, immediately fabricated this absurd murder charge based on a technicality. And to re-inforce that chrage, you threw in a complimentary treason charge as well, supporting it with the supposed betrayal he committed during the Sorceress war. The four of you presented this to the Board, and to the Headmaster himself."   
"This is absurd! How dare you accuse me of such filth!" Devensor stood up, seething with anger. She turned to Cid. "Headmaster, I will not have this! I am not the one on trial here! I object to this!"   
"Headmaster, this will re-inforce one of the articles of defense we have presented," Quistis rebutted. "That Seifer Almasy is a victim of personal vendetta by some of the Garden Board members. I have proof, Your Honor."   
Cid turned to Devensor. "Overruled. I am personally curious on these new allegations."   
"I have here records of Seifer Almasy's exams that semester," Quistis said. She turned to Devensor. "Do you recognize these, Instructor?" She placed the papers in front of Devensor.   
Devensor merely looked at the top paper. "Those appear to be copies of the e-exams I always gave to my students."   
"'Appear to be'?" Quistis asked.   
Devensor looked at them, and then at Quistis. The look on her eyes were murderous.   
"Those are the exams I gave to them."   
"Specifically whose papers are those, Instructor?"   
"Seifer Almasy's," Devensor said.   
Quistis took back the papers, and she read from them. "Why are they unchecked?"   
Devensor just kept silent.   
"Answer the question, Instructor," Cid said.   
"I have long been an instructor even before you took your very first exam, Instructor," Devensor said to Quistis. "In those years I have seen students like Seifer: crude, arrogant fools who think that they could get away from sullying the name of the Garden and the honor of the SeeDs by their insolence and disrespect. Do you know how people see SeeDs, Instructor? We are feared and respected. Because we do the job right. With people like Seifer who have no sense of team cooperation and respect for authority, tell me, what future does it give to the SeeDs and Garden? We have a job, Instructor. We sift the weeds from the flowers. Seifer is a prime example of those weeds."   
"And will you do the job, Instructor, even if it means killing a person?!" Quistis almost shouted.   
"The Garden is an institution where only those who meet the strict requirements are allowed to pass," Devensor said, her voice rose higher to match that of Quistis. "In here we adhere to a set of rules, and uphold honor, discipline, and loyalty. _Loyalty_, Instructor! When Seifer became Ultimecia's Knight, he turned his back away from the Garden!"   
"Answer my question, Instructor!" Quistis pressed. "Would you go as far as executing someone to 'sift the weeds from the flowers'?!"   
"You don't tell me how to do my job, young woman!" Devensor said. "I have been elected as Head of the Board, and I decide what is, and what is not appropriate to make sure the job is done!"   
"Even if it means killing someone?" Quistis said.   
The people inside the courtroom held their breaths as the shouting match between the two instructors ensued to a high level.   
"You want the truth?" Devensor asked, her eyes narrowing and her voice turned dangerously low. She was impassioned with anger now.   
"I deserve to know the truth," Quistis answered.   
"You wouldn't understand," Devensor said. "A young woman like you still adhered to fanciful and romantic ideals. You still do not know the cold hard facts of reality. To be strong, we need disciplined, able and most of all, dependable students to carry on the Garden tradition! Seifer needs to be removed!"   
"Did you, or did you not, plan for Seifer to be executed by a mere technicality so he won't become a SeeD?!" Quistis demanded.   
"How dare you question me like that! I am a senior Instructor and I do not deser-!" Devensor started in a grave tone.   
"Did you or did you not demand for Seifer's blood in order to uphold your ide-?!" Quistis interrupted.   
"You're goddamn right I did!" Devensor shouted, face flushed with fury now. She found herself standing in the witness stand.   
The courtroom became as silent as a tomb. And then, the murmurs arose. The students looked at Devensor. Most with contempt and disbelief.   
"No further questions, Your Honor," Quistis said. She walked back to her table, and then buried her head in her arms.   
"What is this?" Devensor said. "I am only doing my job!"   
Cid banged on the gavel. He cleared his throat. "Well, I suppose we don't need to put Seifer Almasy to the stand given the recent revelations now, do we?"   
Devensor looked at Quistis, then to Seifer, and then to Cid. "S-she invoked Section 10! Your Honor, she invoked Section 10! Seifer Almasy is still subject to a vote! Remember, Your Honor, that Seifer is still under the impression that he is guilty unless proven innocent! The fact still stands that he seriously injured Commander Leonheart which caused to him being dead for five minutes and forty seconds!"   
"Your Honor, Instructor Devensor herself admitted that she planned on Seifer Almasy getting capital punishment," Quistis pointed out. "The charge was on the assumption of a technicality. Squall isn't dead. The murder charge should have been dropped."   
"Technicality or not, the charges still remain," Devesnor said. "And since Instructor Trepe invoked Section 10 herself, I think it's more than appropriate that the voting should be carried out as originally planned."   
"But Your Honor--!" Quistis protested.   
"I'm afraid she's right, Instructor," Cid turned to Quistis. "You did file the motion. It has to be carried out."   
Devensor smiled, as she crossed her arms. The haughtiness on her face returned. She was confident that there won't be anyone who will try and vote for Seifer. She had explained her side rather well. Besides, she knew that the faculty was under the govern of the Board of Garden Directors. They would not try and go against the Board's wishes--her wishes--if they still expect to be under the roster of Garden instructors. There was only the problem of the headmaster. It seemed that he believed in Quistis' revelations. Well, she just had to worm her way out. But not before she'll see Seifer dead.   
Cid cleared his throat. "Will the Pleadee stand up, and be passed judgment by the faculty of Balamb Garden?"   
Quistis looked at Seifer, and she swallowed hard. She cursed herself for bringing Section 10 at the beginning of the trial. She looked at Cid's expression now, and she knew that if it would've been up to him, Seifer would have been pardoned. If only she hadn't brought up Section 10, she chided herself. She stood beside Seifer, and she looked at him with apologetic eyes.   
"Seifer, I'm sorry," Quistis whispered. "I shouldn't have brought it up. If I had only known that Selphie would give me a breakthrough on this one..."   
Seifer just looked straight ahead. He replied back, in a low voice. "Don't apologize, Instructor. You said so yourself. It's not over until the headmaster says I'm croaked."   
"But the other faculty..." Quistis said.   
"I saw forgiveness in Rinoa's eyes," Seifer said. "I think I could rest well in that. Besides," he paused. "Today is a good day to die."   
"Faculty and staff of Balamb Garden," Cid intoned. "As Section 10, of Article 92 states, the Pleadee shall be given clemency if at least three Garden staff will speak on his behalf. I shall give five minutes for anyone to stand up and be counted among the three. We start now."   
"I shall speak on his behalf, as a Garden instructor" a female's voice came. Quistis closed her eyes. She did not need to look back to see who it was. _Dear Xu_, she thought as she closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. _Thank you for standing behind me until the end._   
"One," Cid said. "Four minutes and forty seconds remaining."   
The students looked towards the front row, where the instructors and staff were seated. Those on the back tried to crane their necks. There was only Xu, who was standing there.   
The other instructors casted surreptitious glances at each other, and then looked at the Board of Directors seat. The looks most gave were contemptous, especially the other three who were mentioned along with Devensor.   
Devensor, for her part, was glowering with obvious pleasure.   
"Three minutes remaining." Cid said.   
Seifer was still expressionless. Quistis was looking down now.   
"I...speak on behalf of Seifer Almasy," a male voice said. "As a Member of the Board."   
Quistis couldn't believe her ears, hearing that. She looked to where the voice came from. She saw Leo Ramuo standing up, the lone standing figure in the Board of Director's section. The Board member's old face looked at her, and smiled in a fatherly way. He propped up his glasses and placed his hands behind his back, standing tall and proud.   
"That's two," Cid said.   
Devensor looked at Ramuo, and she gave him a hateful glare. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine a member of her Board to betray her so.   
Silence followed after that. Quistis' hope was buoyed up by the vote of confidence of the Board member. She looked around, at the other instructors. When her gaze fell on them, some looked away, trying to avoid her gaze, while some managed to pick imaginary folds on their Garden uniforms. Quistis shook her head in apparent disgust.   
"One minute remaining," Cid announced.   
"Well, Instructor," Seifer said, letting out a breath. The smirk on her face returned. "Is there someone in the afterlife you want me to greet for you?"   
"Damn you, Seifer," Quistis said. "You are not going to die." Her voice wavered at that. She wished she could believe that.   
"I never did manage to tell you this, Instructor," Seifer said. "But I think you're a very beautiful woman. And no, I'm not being sarcastic. That's the truth."   
"Seifer..." Quistis said. She tried to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat.   
"Thirty seconds," Cid counted.   
From the center portion of the room, there was a sobbing. Seifer and Quistis, as well as several students, turned around. They saw Rinoa crying on Selphie's shoulder. Selphie looked at them with mournful eyes, and she turned and patted Rinoa's back. Zell and Iris, who were sitting beside them, wore masks of sadness as well. Iris had her face buried in her hands.   
"Ten seconds," Cid said.   
"I think it's safe to declare that Seifer Almasy's initial sentence will be carried out, Your Honor," Devensor said, triumph in her voice. "There are only two who will vouch for his behalf!"   
"Very well," Cid started. His voice trembled a bit, but he continued. "As mandated by Garden law, You, Seifer Almasy, were charged by murder and treason. You have pleaded your part for absolution by way of a Trial by Pleading, but nonetheless had been found g--!"   
_"STOP!"_   
The voice rang out even as the courtroom door slid open. Everyone gasped as they saw who it was. From the door stepped the bandaged and bruised figure of Squall. He was being supported by Irvine.   
"Squall!" Rinoa gasped.   
Quistis placed a hand over her mouth. She could barely utter out his name in her surprise.   
"I...speak on Seifer's...behalf," Squall said. "As a duly recognized...Garden commander. Seifer...is a warrior. Not a murderer. And he...made me see...how selfish I had been. I'll be damned...if I'll let him be executed...for his love for someone. Your Honor...as the supposed 'victim' of this whole mess...I ask that Seifer Almasy be not charged...with murder or treason. The only betrayal he made...was to his promise to himself...not to feel something for someone again."   
"No!" Devensor said. "Your Honor--!"   
"The Garden has spoken, and three duly recognized Garden staff has vouched for Seifer Almasy's behalf," Cid said, ignoring Devensor's protests. "Therefore, this court drops the proposed sentence of capital punishment."   
Chaos broke out as students excitedly confronted this sudden turn of events. Devensor went back to her table and sat on her chair, stunned in disbelief. Leo Ramuo beamed down on Quistis and Seifer, even as the other Board members discussed the turn of events with each other. Rinoa ran across the aisle seats towards Squall. And Quistis turned around and impulsively hugged Seifer.   
"We did it! Seifer, we did it!" Quistis cried in joy.   
Seifer remained silent, surprised at Quistis' action. Then, slowly, he embraced her back. And he whispered, "No. You did it. Thank you, Instructor."   
"ORDER! ORDER! DAMN IT, PEOPLE! CAN'T WE HAVE ORDER IN THIS COURT?!" Cid's gavel banged multiple more times before everyone finally calmed down. "That's better. As I said, capital punishment had been dropped. However, the fact still remains that Seifer Almasy seriously injured a Garden staff. Such behavior cannot be tolerated without due punishment. I therefore sentence Seifer Almasy to one month solitary confinement in the Garden holding facility. He will not be allowed any visitors during the sentence period. He will only be given two hours each day to go out and perform his daily exercise and other such activities. His sentence will take effect tomorrow. Is this understood by the Pleadee?"   
"Yes, Your Honor," Quistis said, even before Seifer could protest.   
"As for you, Instructor Devensor," Cid said. Devensor looked at him in an expression of confusion and fear. "I want to see you in my office tomorrow. Together with Instructors Oreta, Sindai, and Gates. I expect all four of you to turn in your resignation papers. Is that understood?"   
"But Headmaster! She forced us--!" Oreta stood up in defense.   
A crack was heard as Ramuo's fist connected with Oreta's jaw. Ramuo shook his hand in pain, even as Oreta fell down unconscious. "I have always wanted to do that, Headmaster."   
Devensor could only look at the happenings in a daze.   
"The court is adjourned," Cid said, banging his gavel. "At least now, we can finally have some peace around here." Slowly, Cid stood up and walked towards his chambers, even as the students and the faculty started to walk out as well. Excited voices filled the whole room. Several went up to Quistis and congratulated her. Some even acknowledged and congratulated Seifer, who merely looked at them without so much as an expression. Rinoa hugged Squall the moment she managed to go through the crowd. Crying profusely, her heart leaped the moment she was in his arms.   
"I'm sorry, Rinoa," Squall whispered. "I'm so very sorry. I have been selfish. I love you. I love you..."   
"I know," Rinoa cried. Her tears soaked Squall's white shirt. "And I'm sorry, too. I never realized I love you so much until you were almost taken away from me. Don't leave me. Not ever, you hear? Not ever!"   
Squall kissed the top of Rinoa's head, hugging her. Beside them, Irvine and Selphie were smiling joyfully. A few ways off, Zell's face was trying hard to look sorrowful in front of Iris, who had her arms crossed in an interrogating manner.   
It was then that Squall saw Seifer flanked by two Garden security personnel coming towards them. Rinoa saw him, too, and she wiped away her tears. As Seifer was about to pass them, he paused and then gave Squall a hard look.   
"You were lucky, Leonheart," Seifer said. "If you make her cry again, I swear by my blood that I will take you down next time."   
Squall just looked back at his rival. "Thank you, Seifer."   
Seifer snorted and gave Rinoa one last look before walking away.   
Meanwhile, a few ways off, Quistis quietly picked up her papers, and looked at Rinoa and Squall still in their embrace. Quietly wishing them happiness, she turned and walked away.   
  
The cell was dark. Pitch-black, except for the light coming from a 3-by-3 window with bars about six and a half feet up from the foot of the metal door. There was nothing but silence, and someone's regular breathing.   
Softly walking, and taking in trembling and timid steps, Rinoa looked for the room the guard told her. She brushed back her brown-streaked raven hair and tucked it behind her ear. Finally, she saw the room she was looking for. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hands on the cold metal door.   
"S-seifer...?"   
There was no reply. However, she heard the regular rhythm of the breathing on the other side of the door stop for a moment. And then, it resumed again.   
"Seifer, it's me, Rinoa," Rinoa said softly.   
Still, there was no answer. Rinoa leaned back on the cold metal and then slid down and sat on the floor, her back on the door. She hugged her knees with her arms.   
"Seifer, I know you can hear me," Rinoa said. "Uhm. C-congratulations, by the way. Looks like you've won."   
"And my prize is a month of abyssmal blackness," Seifer replied. "I wonder which could be more worse?"   
"At least you're not dead," Rinoa said, turning her head sideways. Her temple felt the cold metal.   
"But you wished that, didn't you?" Seifer asked. "The moment I slashed Leonheart with my gunblade. The moment you saw him fall down with the rain that afternoon."   
"Seifer, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rinoa said. "That afternoon. Is it true...?"   
"What?" Seifer replied.   
"That you did that...because of me...?" Rinoa asked.   
"I thought you said that yourself, back in the trial?" Seifer asked. "You said you knew I was looking for Squall, because of you."   
"I want to hear it from you, personally," Rinoa asked. "Did you really do that because of me? Did you lay down your life, because I cried?"   
"Don't flatter yourself," Seifer said.   
"Seifer, I don't understand you," Rinoa said. Her voice cracked a bit.   
"Who does?" Seifer said. "Except maybe for Quistis. She tried to. But I didn't want her to."   
"I'm sorry," Rinoa said. "I want to let go of the past. I want to look forward to the future, without the threat of what happened before loom at me. I don't want anyone to hurt anymore."   
They were silent for a while, as if feeling each other. And gauging each other's sincerity. Rinoa traced imaginary circles on the marble floor. Seifer was sitting on the floor on the other side of the door in darkness, his arms placed on his knees. Each were lost in their own feelings.   
"Did you love me?" Seifer finally broke the silence.   
"Hmm?" Rinoa asked.   
"Back then, when both of us were still naive and happy," Seifer said. "Did you love me?"   
"Yes," Rinoa replied, after a while. "I did love you."   
"Prove it," Seifer said.   
"I forgive you," Rinoa answered.   
"Hmm?" Seifer said, a hint of confusion in his voice.   
"Back then, when you said you're sorry, and I said I can never forgive you?" Rinoa said. "I take that back. I forgive you, Seifer. For everything. And I thank you, for loving me that much."   
"Go away, Rinoa," Seifer said. "Go back to Squall. I feel he loves you as much as I do. And you love him, the way you never loved me. You don't need to fear about the past anymore. No one needs to be hurt again. I forgive you, too."   
"Seifer..." Rinoa started.   
"All these betrayals should be enough to teach us that we only hurt when we let others hurt us, and when we let the past catch up to us," Seifer said. "I don't intend to let that happen to me anymore, Rinoa. Now, go away."   
"I did love you, Seifer," Rinoa said, as she stood. "For a moment, we were both happy. I just want to remember that happiness we shared. Some pasts are worth remembering. Goodbye."   
Rinoa walked away, her footsteps echoing in the silent hall.   
Seifer became silent for a while. He drew his knees to his chest, and wrapped his arms around his shin. For a while, he looked like the defenseless kid again, when he was first brought to that Orphanage. When he still feared everyone because he was alone and new. Now, the darkness enveloped him, and he wanted to let his guard down for a change. No one will see him be defenseless here. In the darkness, no one will see him when he cries.   
  



	13. XIII: Epilogue

FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace   
  


**Epilogue**

  
  
_**O**ne year.   
Has it been that long? I can scarcely believe it. It still seems as if everything happened last week. Maybe its true what they say. Memories and time are relative things; wedded couple hand in hand. Much as we try to, we can never repress them. Much as how we try not to think about them, they always find a way to creep back in our thoughts. Always.   
I would have thought that the time away from the Garden would somehow clear my mind. Or ease my conscience, somewhat. It's stupid. One year should have been enough to wipe the slate clean. One year away should have been enough for me to come back with a smile on my face, and my head held high the way I always do as I walk those hallowed halls. One year should have been enough for my heart to finally be at ease.   
I had spent the past year visiting Matron at the Orphanage, and then going to Esthar City for a few months. I have done some mountain-climbing at the snowy Trabian Alps. I have even spent days staying at the Shumi village. I have done so many things, just so I could forget about Balamb Garden. I would've thought I'd have been at ease already.   
Then why am I trembling?_   
  
"Irvine, you dolt! It's not level with the other side!" Selphie shouted, placing her hands on her hips. She took a few more steps backward and made a face. "Higher!"   
"It's already high enough, Sefie!" Irvine groaned as he tried to stretch his arms further. The white cloth banner went up a little higher.   
All around her, people were being busy, running here and there. It was as if a birthday surprise of magnanimous proportions was being prepared. Irvine and Zell were on both sides of the Garden gate atop high folding ladders, putting up a huge, white banner.   
"I can't believe you're taller than Zell and you're straining!" Selphie said, frowning at her sweating boyfriend. "Look at Zell! He's not even complaining!"   
"That's probably because his ladder is higher than mine," Irvine replied dryly.   
"My arms are aching, Irv," Zell complained. "Just shut up and do as Selphie says so we can get this over with!"   
"How about we trade places," Irvine muttered as he tried stretching more. He tiptoed precariously, and tottered. He looked down, at the cadet who was steadying the scaffolding V-shaped ladder. "Damn it, Jojo! Hold it steady, will ya?!"   
"I am steadying, sir!" Jojo said. "It's you who's making things totter. Maybe you should, like, relax more?"   
"Relax? I _am_ relaxed," Irvine muttered, gritting his teeth. "Is this high enough Sef?"   
"Uhm...yeah, hold that," Selphie said. "I'll go ask Iris."   
"What?!" Irvine and Zell said in unison, eyes as wide as twin saucers.   
  
_I left leaving so many unanswered questions. And not so many satisfactory answers. I hated lying to them---the people I call my closest friends. I hated lying to Zell. To Selphie. To Xu. To everyone. I hated telling them that I fell in love with Squall and Rinoa found out, when things were far deeper than that. We have shared so much together; endured so much together, that it's a blasphemy for me to lie to them. The least they deserved was to be told the truth. But I had to lie. We could drown in our oceans of intrigue. It would just be another fault added to my list of sins.   
I am scared. Of being alone. I think it's kind of ironic when I decided to go away for a while to clear my head and sort things out. I ran away from sin by going into something I fear. I tried walking away from those I love, so that I would be able to confront myself.   
I looked into Squall's eyes when I said goodbye, and it rended my heart. It's always how he looks at me which made me want to stay. I almost stayed, but I knew that If I did, then things wouldn't change. And I'd live with the pain every day of my life._   
  
"Hmmm..." Iris said, placing her right hand on her waist, and her left hand thumbing her chin. She was frowning; an indication of deep thought. Beside her, Selphie was almost in the same pose, except that her right hand was placed squarely below her breasts.   
In front of them, high atop two uneven ladders, Irvine and Zell were pictures of two very tired and very irritated men.   
"Okay," Iris said, finally. She was smiling. "I think that's about the right height! Both of you, get those ropes and loop it on the holes you see on each of the corner."   
Irvine and Zell let out a relieved breath. "Finally!" Irvine said, grasping the rope and pulling it taut while trying to tie it on the assigned hole.   
"It's about time you girls made up your mind," Zell muttered, tying his end. "Our arms were beginning to fall off."   
Selphie beamed happily. "There's no way she's going to miss this!"   
"I know!" Iris grinned. She turned back to read the huge banner. "She'll be proud! When she's gonna read the mess--!" She suddenly gasped as she read the big, white banner.   
"Hey, girls," Xu said, stepping out of the yellow Garden utility vehicle. "Do you think the food's gonna be...Oh my goodness!" She gasped, as well.   
"What?!" Irvine and Zell said as they noticed the three girls staring at the large cloth they had been slaving to set up.   
"Zell, you IDIOT!!!" Iris suddenly shouted, really angry. "Who did you say did you commission to make this banner???"   
"Irvine and I made it together!" Zell replied. "Why? What's wrong?"   
"Get down here and see for yourself!" Iris said, visibly angry. She was frowning, as she placed her hands squarely on her waist. Xu and Selphie's eyes were none the friendlier, either.   
Zell gave the sharpshooter-cowboy a quizzical look, which the Galbadian answered with as much question. They went down, and started to walk towards the girls so they could take a look at their handiwork. They started reading it.   
"WELCOME BACK, QUSTIS!!! From youre beloved B-Garden!!!"   
Zell turned to Irvine. "I TOLD you it's 'your', not 'youre'!"   
"You said you weren't sure!" Irvine shot back.   
"And whose dumb idea was it to omit the 'I' in Quistis' name?" Selphie asked rather heatedly.   
"Hey look," Zell explained. "When you're writing four-foot long letters, you're bound to get a spelling error!"   
"Fix it!" Xu barked. "Or else I'll have both your hides skinned and salted! Y'hear?!"   
Zell and Irvine swallowed. "Y-yes ma'am!" They scurried away.   
  
_Those singular times I spent in the Orphanage these past few months had been blessed. Matron was there, but I had always been alone most of the times. I just liked walking by the sea in the early mornings, way before the sun rose. When I was still a child, I remember waking up and seeing Squall already sitting there by the shore. Squall, you said you were waiting for your father to come home. Did you even remember your father then? I watched you, always, behind that rocky dune. The place is still there, now. And I sit there, and watch the sun rise each day. And the sunset.   
And even though how much I try not to, I missed you those months, Squall. I hold absence as though its water for a woman in a desert. The first few months, I cup them and hold them in my chest. But I miss them each day. As each day became dusk, part of the absence was swallowed by the sea. Little by little. For one year. But it was never enough. One year is never enough. I still love you, and I still feel the betrayal I made to Rinoa even now._   
  
"No, I will be fine," Rinoa said, gripping the phone.   
"If you don't want me to, I won't be here," Squall said softly. "I'll take the next train to Deling."   
"I told you, it's fine with me," Rinoa said. "You can meet her. It's been twelve months since she'd been gone, Squall. I don't think it would be proper for her to come back and not see everyone there."   
"Then, come here, Rinoa," Squall said. "I think she would want to see you too. After all, as you said, it wouldn't be proper for her to come back and not see everyone."   
"I don't know, Squall," Rinoa said. "I think I'm the last person she wants to see."   
Squall was silent for a while. "Rinoa...do you still resent her? For what we did...?"   
"Don't remind me of that, Squall," Rinoa said. "It's hard enough trying to forget everything. And I have had success doing that. I don't need you to remind me again."   
"You and she didn't get to talk to each other before she left, Rinny," Squall said. "I think she would want to see you again."   
There was silence on the other line.   
"You said you wanted me to greet her," Squall continued. "We've been through a lot together, Rinny. It's been one year. I...I just wish all of us would be back to what we once were before all these mess started."   
"I-i'm busy," Rinoa said. "Father's--"   
"Rinoa, it won't be over unless everything's gone back full circle," Squall said. "Quisty...I think she has carried her guilt long enough..."   
"I have already forgiven her," Rinoa said. "I told you. I already forgave her for what she did."   
"Then come here," Squall said. "Come here and help us greet her when she arrives. Please?"   
"I-i don't know, Squall," Rinoa said softly. There was hesitation in her voice. And it cracked a bit. "I just don't know..."   
"Rinny, tell me," Squall said. "Have you really forgiven her? Deep inside. Have you forgiven here?"   
"Y-yes, I suppose so," Rinoa said. She leaned heavily on the wall of her room.   
"I want a certain answer," Squall said.   
"If...if I'll be able to smile back at her, then maybe I have," Rinoa said.   
"Twelve months is an awfully long time, Rinoa," Squall said. "If you can forgive me, then you can forgive her, too. So please. Come here."   
Rinoa's breathing can be heard over the line. And then, there was a click as the phone went dead.   
  
_Someone once said that sometimes, betrayals at war are childish compared to those betrayals at peace. The costs of the former are only military secrets, or destroyed homes, or lost lands. The costs of the latter are shattered souls and destroyed trusts, and broken hearts. Tell me, which is more grave? The one who said that must have felt both pains. Am I luckier, then, only comitting and living the betrayals under calm, tranquil times? Or am I to be pitied more, knowing that what I did was causing a pain more than the physical?   
We slip into the habits of indifference, some of us, to cushion the pain. We hide behind masks, blaming our sins and faults to it, instead of us, the person behind them. And some of us held onto pasts because we felt that we are nothing without them.   
I held on to a fanciful motion of romanticism. I still dream of a knight who will become my shield, and who will sweep me off my feet as we ride into the sunset. I still wish that fate sometimes holds the hands of two people, and join them at the right moment, and at the right time. That night, I thought that it was fate which made us share each other's warmth.   
Looking at everything back then, I still don't know how many were betrayers, and how many were betrayed. Seifer, Rinoa, Devensor, myself, Squall. Each of us were pawns of passion, but who among us really had the right to do what we did? And do we really deserve the happiness all of us so wanted?_   
  
Fujin and Raijin were walking ahead, carrying their fishing gear. Behind them, Seifer was walking at a leisurely pace. Today was the finals of the fishing competition which the three had decided to join in. It had been a grueling four days of fish, fish, and more fish. But in the end, it must have been Fujin's natural flair at the sport which brought them to the final round. The prizes included recognition as the best fishermen of the Galbadia-Balamb region, as well as a considerable amount of gil. Today, their final opponent would be a group from the Fisherman's Horizon.   
As the three started to get out of the main gate, oblivious of the activity around them, Selphie saw them.   
"Hey, Siefer," Selphie said. The three stopped walking. "Quistis is coming back today."   
Seifer just looked at Selphie.   
"We could use some help for the welcoming party we're gonna throw for her," Selphie continued.   
"Good luck finding one," Seifer smirked, and he started to resume his walk.   
"GOOD LUCK!" Fujin said as she and Raijin started walking too.   
"Hmph! Ungrateful bastard!" Selphie said as she looked distastefully at Seifer. She muttered. "I would've thought what happened would finally take that stick out of your ass. Apparently, I'm wrong!"   
Seifer just shrugged, indicating that he heard that. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Selphie stick out his tongue at him and going back to the preparations. He watched Fujin and Raijin in front of him, arguing about something. His posse. That's what they called themselves.   
They had always been there for him. When he thought about it, those two had been the closest persons he could call his friends. Not the type whom he could just tell his deep personal problems with, but close enough for him to let down his guard. Few people saw him in the light those two had.   
And then came Quistis. He knew how much she wanted to understand him. Reach out to him, even. It's a wonder how she could be so sensitive and empathic to know that he's hiding so much pain, and yet insensitive enough not to see that he didn't want her help. Of course, that was the fool in him speaking. He had to admit, though, that if it weren't for her, he would've been dead by now. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have been given the chance.   
When he last saw her, she had put on a casual air. A light-blue cashmere sweater which nicely complemented her blue eyes beside those wire-rimmed glasses. She was the figure of a fresh, young woman, and not an Intructor she knew he was wary around. She walked to him while he was in his alotted two-hour free time. That was three days after Cid passed the solitary confinement sentence on him. She just walked up to him and said simply, "Don't fail me. Become a SeeD." And then, she just walked away.   
Seifer just found himself standing there, then, looking at the ground. Fujin and Raijin were already a ways off.   
"Uhh, boss!" Raijin said. "We're gonna be late, ya know!"   
"LATE!" Fujin said.   
Seifer was broken out of his reverie. He looked forward, and saw them standing there, looking at him expectantly. Waiting.   
"You guys go on ahead," Seifer said, after a moment's silence. "Win the tournament for us. We're already at the finals, so make it your best."   
"W-what? But boss! You've been waiting a long time for this!" Raijin said. "This is the final round, ya know?!"   
Fujin looked at Seifer for a minute, and then she smiled and said. "GOOD LUCK!"   
Seifer saw Fujin's smile. He was hard pressed to remember when the eyepatched woman had last smiled that smile she showed now. It was a smile only a woman who understood could give.   
"Thank you," Seifer said. And he smiled back at her. She understood.   
"But boss--!" Raijin protested and suddenly let out a loud yell of pain as Fujin stomped on his foot without so much as turning around.   
"HUG HER!" Fujin said to him, beside a hopping Raijin who was clutching his foot.   
Seifer just smiled, and he turned away and started walking towards the Garden, in the far distance.   
  
_It was kind of President Loire to give me a lift via one of Esthar's mini-jets. The last few months I spent back in Esthar City had been one of the most enjoyable. President Loire had been most accomodating.   
It had always amazed me how much he was like Squall, and yet, how vastly different they could be, as well. He has all of Squall's inherent charm and much of his physical characteristics. And yet, he was much more gregarious than his son. If Squall would have been as jolly, and as light-hearted, then the Garden would have been a lot more lively. But then again, Squall's mystery is what makes him so darkly appealing.   
And President Loire's dedication to his dead wife was remarkable. Few men could have felt the love he felt for her. He was one of the few lucky people who have loved so deeply, and who had been deeply loved in return, without reservation. Without conditions. It almost makes me envious of Ms. Raine Loire. I wanted a love like that. A love that spans across the barriers of life. A love that spans across time._   
  
"Is everything ready?" Cid asked, as he looked at his watch. Most everyone had gathered at the main entrane of the gate now. The message was that Quistis would arrive at exactly four in the afternoon. It was already quarter to four.   
"Zell! Stop picking on the hotdog!" Iris said. The young martial-artist immediately stepped far away from the buffet table, whistling nonchalantly.   
"What if it'll suddenly rain?" Irvine asked, looking up at the blue sky.   
"Don't be so pessimistic!" Selphie said. Wisps of clouds broke the blanket of blue above them. "Hey! I see something! There! It looks like an Esthar 67-A class carrier mini-jet!"   
Everyone turned to look at the clear blue sky. Selphie was right.   
Quistis had finally arrived.   
  
_The pilot told me that we're approaching the Garden now. Hyne, I never thought I'd see it so soon. But one year should be enough time for each of us to think and reflect. One year should be enough for us to let our hearts rest. Time heals all wounds, and although I know that one year isn't sufficient enough time, I would wish that its enough for us to start reaching out to each other, and take the healing from there. A touch. A smile. A word of forgiveness. Although forgiveness had been given a long time ago, I wanted to be sure that this time, after a long absence, we would really mean it. We are all human. And I wish that it would be the same imperfections of our being so that will finally make us forget and leave the past behind.   
I hope that Rinoa will realize that life is too short for us to be counting the hates and betrayals, and nurturing the pain. I have already asked for pardon for my sins, both to the heavens, and to the woman who I still consider my friend. If she could embrace me and smile, then I'll know that everything is finally forgiven, and there can be an erasing of all guilt.   
This is my prayer. And my hope._   
  
The mini-jet hovered on the great green expanse in front of the Garden before finally settling down. The sound was a silent, soft whistle. When the wheels touched the ground, there was an audible thump. After a few minutes, the engine died with a gradual whine. Finally, the door on the belly of the jet started to yawn open. The door opened to the ground, and doubly served as the ladder. And then, the blond-haired Instructor gingerly stepped out. She was wearing a pink blouse, and dark, hip-hugging jeans. For a change, her hair was let loose, except for a part on the sides of her head where it was braided in small, overlapping steps. She stepped out of the jet, and looked at everyone gathered there. She saw the big banner (which, curiously read "WELCOME BACK, QUiSTIS!!! From your beloved B-Garden!!!"), and she unconsciously placed her hands over her mouth. She had not expected this. So they knew she was coming back! But how? It could only be President Loire. Tears started to fall from her eyes.   
"WELCOME BACK!!!" Everyone shouted. Immediately, Selphie started running towards her, followed by Xu, Iris, and the others.   
The considerable distance was covered in less than a minute. And then, there was much hugging, and much crying as people in their blue Garden uniforms started milling around the beautiful woman in pink, trying their best to greet her personally. Welcoming her in their open arms.   
"Quisty! I missed you!" Selphie said, laughing and crying at the same time like a little girl. She hugged her tight.   
"Sefie! I missed you too!" Quistis said, hugging her friend back. "How is everyone? How are you all? I'm sorry I didn't get to write!"   
"Everyone's fine," Xu said, as she hugged her best friend tight. She wiped away a tear. "How have you been? Hyne, Quisty, you've grown fat!"   
Everyone laughed.   
"The students had been in lethargy since you left, y'know," Irvine grinned. "Welcome back, girl!"   
"Thank you, Irvine!" Quistis smiled. "You haven't changed."   
"Hey, one year isn't much," Irvine grinned and winked.   
"I'm hungry," Zell said. Then, he grinned at Quistis and gave her a tight hug. "Hmmm, Quisty. You smell better and better! The past year must have been good to you!"   
Quistis laughed and hugged Zell back. "Zell, you idiot!"   
Suddenly, someone stole a kiss on her cheek. She turned around, and saw the grinning face of her former student, Jojo. "Woo-hooo! First kiss! Welcome back, Instructor!"   
Quistis smiled, and just shook her head. "You do realize you're going to get a few points deducted from your grade because of that, Jojo?" She gave him a mischievous grin.   
"Worth it!" Jojo grinned back.   
"Welcome back, Quisty," a voice suddenly said.   
Hearing that, all sounds seemed to have dissolved away. Quistis slowly turned and looked forward. Straight into the brown eyes of Squall. She felt her breath being taken away, looking into those eyes. And she was reminded of that night in the cabin. She brushed the thought away.   
"Squall, hello," she said, trying to stay composed. "And thanks."   
When Squall hugged her, she could almost close her eyes and drown in his embrace. It was then that she remembered that it was the first time since that night that he embraced her. But abruptly, the feeling went away as Squall drew back. It had been nothing more than a welcoming hug, after all. She felt a pang of pain when he let go.   
"Come," Selphie said as she took her hand. "The others are just dying to welcome you back!"   
"Y'mean there are still others?" Quistis said, trying to hide her feelings behind a mask of laughter. At least now, it felt easier. _Forget what you feel for Squall_, she told herself. _Time for a change now_.   
"Hah! You thought that was the welcoming committee?" Selphie laughed.   
They approached the main gate of the garden, exchanging stories and laughter.   
Everyone was trying to talk to her at once, except Zell who was complaining about how hungry he was. Quistis felt her emotions a while ago to Squall gradually disappear. She was with friends now. Just friends.   
It was then that when they arrived at the main gate, she stopped involuntarily.   
Rinoa was there, standing. She was looking at her, expressionless for a while. And then, she slowly walked towards her, and she smiled. And she hugged her, just like that.   
"Welcome back," Rinoa whispered. Her voice cracked a bit.   
And those feelings came back again, together with those tears. "Rinoa, thank you. You smiled at me. You hugged me."   
"Of course," Rinoa whispered. She sniffed, and it took Quistis a moment to realize that the raven-haired girl was crying, as well. "I have realized that its pointless for us to hold back. I wasn't sure hours ago, while waiting for you here. But then, I saw you now, and that's when I realized. Quisty...I don't want to hate you anymore. I don't want to hold on to a pain that's been keeping me dead for a year now. I want to trust you again."   
"Oh, Rinny...Rinny," Quistis cried. That was when she felt that burden she had been carrying for the past year disappear. The moment Rinoa told her those words. _I want to trust you again_. It was the key that made everything go away. Her _trust_.   
"I will try hard," Quistis said, as she let go of Rinoa. She smiled at her, crying. "Thank you for giving me another chance."   
"And thank you," Rinoa said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "I feel better now. Hyne, I never felt this good ever since we drifted away. By the way, there's someone who wants to greet you, as well."   
"Who?" Quistis asked. They walked into the gate, hand in hand.   
Rinoa just looked forward, and Quistis followed her gaze.   
Seifer was there, leaning on the wall, his arms and feet crossed. He was wearing that distinctly Seifer look, as he looked at her.   
Quistis found herself smiling at seeing the man she defended a year ago. He seemed to have gone back to his former self. Quistis didn't know if she should be glad at that, or not.   
She turned to the others.   
"Is he..?" Quistis asked.   
"Ask him," Xu smiled.   
Quistis turned back, and was surprised to find herself looking up at Seifer.   
"Welcome back, Instructor," Seifer said. "You look more...beautiful, since that time I saw you last."   
"Since when have you thought me beautiful, Seifer?" Quistis asked.   
"I would have thought you'd remembered," Seifer said. And then that smirk-grin again.   
It was the same grin which used to infuriate her. But now, she just found it rather boyish. "In that court. I said I thought you're a beautiful woman."   
"I thought you were being sarcastic then," Quistis said. She smiled. _Heavens, he remembered that?_   
"You have to learn to trust me more," Seifer said.   
"I thought the word 'trust' is not in your vocabulary?" Quistis asked, subtly raising an eyebrow.   
"It's not," Seifer said. And then, wonder of wonders, he saw Seifer smile. A genuine smile this time. Not a smirk. Or an arrogant grin. Just a natural smile. She could almost gasp. "I did not let you down, Instructor."   
Quistis smiled. "You mean...?"   
"First Class SeeD," Seifer said. "Gunblade specialist and Field Combat and Tactics expert."   
"Oh Seifer!" Quistis said, and she involuntarily hugged the blonde SeeD. "I'm so proud! You're finally a SeeD! Everyone from the Orphanage has finally become a SeeD!"   
She felt Seifer holding her close. "And I have you to thank for that, Instructor. I never did show you how much I appreciate all you did. Thank you."   
Quistis closed her eyes, and silently cried.   
  
_When we can look back at the past, and smile at the pain, then that's when we know that we have truly looked forward to the future. I know that there is still so much I have to do, for everything to be back as it once was before that fateful night more than a year ago. But I am on the right path, I think. In the end, all it took was a smile, and a hug. And the comfort that trust has been given.   
I am finally home._   
  
  
_**---fin---**_   
  



End file.
